Ted profile picture

Ted

get malaisical!

About Me

"The masters, whether they be priests or kings or capitalists, when they want to exploit you, the first thing they have to do is demoralise you, and they demoralise you very simply by kicking you in the nuts." - Kenneth Rexroth, American poet and radical.

My name's Ted but it's really Tom. Not a long story, but not a very interesting one. I play electronic garter in the SPLITTERS and a hardcore punk band called Black Eye Friday . I'm a socialist. I like a drink; I'm a fan of single malt whiskys and nice beers and fine but inexpensive wines. I like going gigs, pubs, free parties. I like lots of music that isn't shite, and none that is. I like sunny weather best but I don't mind a bit of snow now and again. I enjoy hot baths and looking at things. There is nothing else to know about me. If the wind changes it'll stay like that - ask yer ma.

My Interests

Binge drinking.

I'd like to meet:

Not the likes of you, that's for damn sure. Go on - sling yer hook. Nothing to see here. On your way. Get out of it!

Music:

Other than playing in the Splitters and Black Eye Friday , I'm into things like Lee Perry, the Clash, Hank Williams, Gene Vincent, Steel Pulse, Minor Threat, Public Enemy, Gogol Bordello, old school Trojan / Studio 1 etc, the Redskins, Sizzla, Johnny Cash, Prince Buster, Billy Bragg, Crass, Black Flag, Skatalites, rockabilly / hillbilly, New Bomb Turks, the Holy Modal Rounders, Minutemen, Hard Skin, the Stooges, Macka B, the Pogues, Born Against, the Cramps, yodelling, Jinx Lennon, the Dubliners, NWA, Poison Idea, Lady Saw, the Slackers, Woody Guthrie, rebel songs, Op Ivy, the Specials, Runnin' Riot, Velvet Underground, Subhumans, King Tubby, Arab Strap, Scientist and a million other things. When it's good it's pretty great, but when it's bad it can be not so good.

Movies:

Reds / This is England / Clerks / Mallrats / Withnail & I / Shaun of the Dead / One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest / Goodbye Lenin / Groundhog Day / Enemy at the Gates / House of 1000 Corpses / Another State of Mind / Clockwork Orange / lots of stuff! / Walk the Line. Good films good, bad films bad.

Television:

Alan Partridge, The Office, Lost, Quezzy Time, Chris Morris, Shameless, Mark Thomas, Simpsons / Futurama / Family Guy, Channel 4 News, Fawlty Towers, Porridge. I advocate the carpet bombing of Hollyoaks until those mongs are off my telly, mind you.

Books:

Viz comics, music biographies, Charlie Marx, John Lenin, George Orwell, Chomsky, Tony Benn. Books about socialism and communism and anarchism in general, and all that lefty goodness. Flann O'Brien, Brendan Behan, Christy Brown, Frank McCourt (got a taste for Irish stuff from my old man I guess), Hewligan's Haircut, Terry Pratchett, Rollins ... lots of stuff really. Books about punk, booze, outlaws, reggae, stuff like that.
Ted recommends fiction: A Fairytale of New York - JP Donleavy.
Ted recommends non-fiction: No Retreat - the Secret War between Britain's Anti-Fascists and the Far Right - Dave Hann & Steve Tilzey
Bass Culture: When Reggae was King - Lloyd Bradley.
American Hardcore: A Tribal History - Stephen Blush
Almost Like a Whale: the Origin of Species Updated - Steve Jones

Heroes:

Useless they are.

My Blog

Attention: people trying to get served at the bar

Meathead thicknecks and Oasis geezer indielads.  Keep shouting mate, I've seen you and I might get to you if you shut your gobby fucking cakehole.  Sarcastic remarks about waiting for ages w...
Posted by Ted on Wed, 18 Jul 2007 03:00:00 PST

I will hate HSBC forever

I hope they get bombed again. Grasping fucking thieves.
Posted by Ted on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 04:49:00 PST

It's Jim BEAM not Jim BEAN

FAO people ordering drinks at the Charlotte. It's a four letter word! Learn to read!
Posted by Ted on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 11:17:00 PST

Daz Sampson is a twat

This link says it all. "Rapper Daz Sampson, the UK's representative at this year's Eurovision Song Contest, is zealously embracing the task of improving the country's performance at the musical event....
Posted by Ted on Wed, 17 May 2006 04:01:00 PST

My head is ginormous

Why am I cursed with such a wide head?  It's hard to find hats.
Posted by Ted on Tue, 16 May 2006 05:12:00 PST

Billy Bragg gig last night

This was last night.We missed all but the last song of Seth Lakeman cos it was a really nice night and we were drinking outside. Oh well. It was a bit serious and highbrow folky, but I might have got ...
Posted by Ted on Fri, 05 May 2006 03:44:00 PST

The American says dance

Went to see Annihilation Time / The Horror / Search and Destroy / Self Destruct at the Old Angel in Nottingham last night wid mi bredrenz Steve Goulash and Ace Wilde and my sweet gal Rhitard. All the ...
Posted by Ted on Wed, 26 Apr 2006 04:35:00 PST

Deutschland Deutschland ooya fuckah!

Wahey - Splitters hit Teutonic soil tomorrow!  Well and Flemish and possibly Netherlandian too. Is that still Teutonic?  Who knows or cares.  Nay not I.  I shall be on the gro...
Posted by Ted on Wed, 12 Apr 2006 07:54:00 PST

Slackers tonight - get in there

Splitters are playing with the Slackers tonight down the Charlotte.  It's gonna be such a good night.  They've been one of my favourite bands from time and they're fucking awesome live. ...
Posted by Ted on Fri, 07 Apr 2006 01:42:00 PST

Solo gig action last night

  So I did me indoor busking thing last night down the Lansdowne.  It went alright.  Played good, only bust one string and changed it faster than you can say Jack Robinson.  P...
Posted by Ted on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 03:36:00 PST