I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality: -If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly. -If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2". -If you have multiple personalitites, please press "3", "4", and "5". -If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call. -If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press. -If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.
I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive...But suicide's a crime!!!!
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
10 things men know about women: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. WOMEN HAVE BOOBS
Nobody is perfect. I am Nobody. Therefore I am perfect.
Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.
I'm not here right now, but if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone... buy me a cell phone.