"Doctor" Pauly T. - ProfilesArchive

About Me

"Doctor" Pauly T. is a (not) well known and a (not) well respected member of the "Self Help" community.
He is the would-be author of the hypothetical bestseller "Be Alive: It's Not Like You Have Anything Better To Do Anyway".
You may have seen him on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The Suze Orman Show, Larry King Live, and The O'Reilly Factor... had he ever actually appeared on those shows or any television program of any kind.
"Doctor" Pauly T has read articles published in Time, Fortune, National Geographic, Entertainment Weekly, and Wizard: The Comics Magazine.
He has touched literally tens of ones of lives by simply being a living example of what NOT to do.

(*NOTE: "Doctor" Pauly T. is not technically an actual doctor. He has no PhD, MD, DDS or doctorate of any kind. Neither does he have a Masters, a BA, or any degree from any institute of learning accredited or unaccredited, real or imaginary. Although, he does major in BS.)

My Interests

Patton, Eisenhower, and Tso... but just for his chicken.

I'd like to meet:

Feeble-minded people eager to be bullied.

Music:

03/23/2007 The FunHouse Bethlehem, PA
05/02/2007 Water Street Market New Paltz, NY
08/25/2007 Bacchus New Paltz, NY
08/26/2007 New York State Fair Syracuse, NY

11/09/2007 Blender Theater @ Gramercy NYC 09/05/2007 Messiah College Grantham, PA

Television:

Heroes:

My Blog

Mickey Ds Aint No Bojangles!

This:Does NOT EqualThis:OK, May 15 was Free Chicken Day at McDonald's in order to promote their new "southern-style" chicken sandwiches. With the purchase of any medium (formerly the "large") or...
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Thu, 15 May 2008 12:21:00 PST

100% Pure Adrenaline. Again.

I think I may have now officially given up hope of the existence of a benevolent God:That's right. Point Break 2.Oh, excuse me, Point Break: Indo. Like that's better.The worst part is the synopsis:"Wh...
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Wed, 14 May 2008 12:41:00 PST

The Redemption of Ultra Magnus

Ultra Magnus was one of a number of new characters introduced in one of the seminal films of the 1980s, The Transformers: The Movie. His brief stint as Leader of the Autobots ended thusly: ...
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 09:49:00 PST

Dont think I dont see what youre trying to pull, Starz Comedy!

From the listings for the 20th of April, 2008:16:20 "Dazed and Confused"Dazed and Confused?at 4:20pm?ON 4/20!?!?!?Come on!Starz Comedy, before next fall you're in need of a serious attitud...
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 04:48:00 PST

You Cant Just Go and BUY a Puppet!

So... I wanted a puppet.What?I'm a MAN! And I do what I want!And what I want is a puppet.So just go to the store, right?WRONG-O!Apparently, it's quite the ordeal. Here's how it breaks down:Walma...
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:20:00 PST

"Blahck Layther Treem"

OK, first of all, some context: As I was saying, yes, Sofía Vergara is The Hotness. I mean, c’mon, LOOK at her!Still, the way she says the phrase "black leather trim" in that ad just gr...
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Sun, 23 Mar 2008 11:12:00 PST

Bigger Combined Blight on Both The Beatleverse and Reality Television?

ORSometimes I just really can’t tell......
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Sun, 23 Mar 2008 10:46:00 PST

I hate shitting!

Nothing ruins a good time, a nice day, or a life quite like having to take a shit.
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 11:42:00 PST

I saw a kid in a Smurf hat the other day...

And I don’t mean a baseball cap or a beanie or whatever emblazoned with the Smurf logo or said characters.I mean an actual white arching bulbous stocking cap.One of these:But, you know, real and...
Posted by "Doctor" Pauly T. on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 11:34:00 PST