dave profile picture

dave

Rise and shine, asshole!

About Me

How could the Bulls possibly lose this year with the support of Dear Leader?"Though it's not part of the NBA's advertising campaign, it's widely known around the league office that North Korean leader Kim Jong Il is an avid NBA fan with a preference for the Bulls. His sons have been spotted wearing Bulls jerseys on their regulation courts at the presidential palace." -Sam Smith, October 30, 2006 article in the Chicago Tribune

My Interests

who ever heard of a bi-cycle?

Music:

Built to Spizillemily haines knows how to bring you down

Movies:

the land before time. saw this movie at the grand opening of a movie theater that would later be my first job and is now a linens and things.

Television:

rescue me, deadwood, conan, arrested development, curb your enthusiasm, mr. show, daily show, aqua teen, tom goes to the mayor, stella, my name is earl, home movies.

Books:

ann coulter die die die die die die die live

Heroes:

my great grandfather horatio

My Blog

bitch application

do you want to be my bitch(trick question...you do)? just fill out this application and see if you're a hot enough bitch. good luck, ladies!1. are you stupid? (y) (n) (q)2. will your wedding dress be:...
Posted by dave on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 01:55:00 PST

This is fucking serious. Oh my God.

Here's a survey! Everyone loves surveys.1. Don't you think it would be cool to be famous?2. What's your favorite season in which one month's showers brings the subsequent month's flowers?3. I hate whe...
Posted by dave on Thu, 11 May 2006 01:18:00 PST

you guys are killing me

please stop sending me chain letters that first promise me love and wealth and happiness, but then like an abusive bipolar mother threaten me with bad luck and poverty and horrible sex for seven years...
Posted by dave on Wed, 30 Nov 2005 05:54:00 PST

an open letter to my cough/cold

dear stupid jerk, ok pal, i've got something to say. i get the point, already. you're some kind of bacterial virus thing that needs a host for survival and increased exposure to other hosts....
Posted by dave on Mon, 26 Sep 2005 10:06:00 PST