Simone, Professional Pirate! profile picture

Simone, Professional Pirate!

Curse my natural showmanship!

About Me

Good evening ignorant pigs.
Put down your crack pipes and your beer bongs and pay attention
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it
[email protected]
that might be more useful...^

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Pirate flag

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

a polar bear the people i've been meaning to see for like AGESSSS some guy that isnt a complete fuck wit and can appricate the finer things in life such as listed in the "GOOD" section some where up there ^^^ a friendly drag queen , i'v not met one yet a faun , a nice one though not like that creepy one from pans laberynth (yeah i cant spell by the way)

Music:

Fat Music For Fat People Screeching Weasel Pinhead Gunpowder.. Crimpshrine Afi.. The Living End.. The Apers Guns n' Wankers.. Green Day(in ye olden days).. The Prozacs.. Husker Du.. Rancid.. The Jizz Kids.. NOFX.. Foxboro Hot tubs.. Bad Brains.. Ritalins.. The Descendants.. Popsters.. The Explosion.. Ramones.. Numskull.. Bad Religion.. The Queers.. Black Flag.. Lagwagon.. Bracket.. The Lawrence Arms.. Good Riddance.... Dead Kennedys.. The Falcon.. Chixdiggit! Reel Big Fish.. Captain Everything.. Bloodhound Gang.. Tenacious d.. Riverdales Mr T Experience.. The Methadones.. Teenage Bottlerocket Pickled dick .... Rage Against The Machine.... Public Enemy The Vandals Frustrators Ben Weasel And His Iron String Quartet i think you get where im goin with this

Movies:

from dusk tilll dawn,pulp fiction , clockwork orange , the godfather , jackass, school of rock ,dodgeball, live freaky die freaky , crouching tiger hidden dragon , hero , hidden , pick of destiny , waynes world , bill and ted , muppets treasure island , o 'brother where art thou , scooby doo, solaris , donnie darko ,the producers ,

Television:

futurama, family guy , scrubs , the simpsons , csi , er , 24 , queer eye for the straight guy (sad i know but its fucking awsome) and pretty much any cartoons

Books:

Catcher in the Rye and anything by Kurt Vonnegut are my favourite.

Heroes:

nah....;)