Soteria

I am... wildly impatient / the kind of person who thinks ice cream should be eaten with a fork / always the first to strike up random conversation in an uncomfortable silence / a collector of useless knowledge / writing a novel on bad dates / learning Spanish/ crazy enough about good food to either: A.slap the cook twice, or B. make up a song about it / the best person to take to bingo night / pretty mean with a yo-yo PET PEEVES INCLUDE: 1.people who bike the wrong way on one way streets 2.actors who have smoking roles in movies and obviously don't (and the magically disappearing, reappearing cigarette in scenes...it's out! it's long! it's not even lit! it's short! it's long again!) 3.dry socks on a wet bathroom floor 4.grammatical errors 5.when you can only breathe out of one side of your nose at a time 6.turning the faucet on in the tub and having the shower spray your head 7.girls over the age of 12 who still swing their ponytails 8. people who walk too slow on the sidewalk, or people who line up in rows of three or four so you can't pass them 9. when air conditioners drip on you from tall buildings 10. People who use air quotes in the wrong context 11. when SUV's park in "compact car only" spots in garages