I'd like to meet:

About Me

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit And it's filled with people who are filled with Shit And the vermin of the world inhabit it. But not for long...

yupp =) Here it is! Im 20 years old.I like takeing Pictures. I write poetry and Lyrics. I work during the week party on the end. Not much you need to know about me. I dont give a fuck what people think or say I do what I have to do for myself. I have no fears. I see what most people don't the truth. I have my own beliefs and theres no fakes in my life I hate drama.

Interests

Im A writer I write poetry Heres some!

True Love.

With the look in your eye and your everyday smile
I fall into denial knowing I'll never have you
If you felt the same way I would never pray
for you to feel the same
I'm left here alone can you feel the way I do
Will you ever realize I love you.
After every thing we've been threw
you still never knew would you please
Just listen to me. I'm who I am today Just because of you From all of the pain and My rainy days
Unspent time and memories I wanna share
Only if you cared as much as me you would see
I Could be your everything Never to be hurt
Or betrayed We will pull right threw
My emotions all messed up smiles
Are they true or lies. By the time
you realize all of this it will be to late
as my heart rate beats faster and faster
I crash right be for your eyes.

[F.A.K.E] Friends Attempt Killing Emotions.

If my world would brake and shatter
before my eyes I would not fear
Only a tear would drop
To say goodbye
I tried my best
I've never lied
Threw times of sorrow
I was always there
Now you proved
you never cared
I hurt a little
from this mistake
I could never take
the words you speak
to heart you broke the link
in this friendship
everything left to fall apart.

F0R ALL TH0SE WH0 CALL Y0URSELF A FRIEND

as my sky blackens and your faces show
deception holds no meaning as these tears flow
broken heart begins to fade
are friendships decaded long ago
as I begin to roll over and remember these thoughts
threw these times of sorrow
this knife of hate begins to burrow
deep apon my blood filled veins
as it begins to pour out I begin to shout in hate
of all of the fakes no mistakes are made here
I don't regret or care to think
of those who will be hurt as my sky come crashing down
I begin to hope you suffer more then ever
never will I look apon you or think of you the same
as it begins to rain filled with blood
I look down at you from above in vain
I hope your chosen to walk among the forsaken
the flames will rise in your hell
may no one feel ashamed for what is to happen
under minded don't misunderstand
do not care or give a fuck of what you think
i walk alone by choice not by anyones decision
i have a voice i will use to tell you
You Won't Be Forgiven.

RAZOR BLADE

Small and thin
sharp and easy
rub againts begin to burrow
blood pours out
eyes open
thoughts of pain
thoughts of suffering
flash backs
growing weak
begin to faint
almost over
No more pain
No more suffering
eyes closed
past out
just to wake another day
same sorrow same guilt
scars made time for a new
razorblade

SELF VIEWS

Emotional is not the view
The thoughts the imagination
the picture you build the life you live
guide lines to set you straight
to write to let out of the hurtful barrier
so much pain your broken heart
to feel as if you where an angel
to have your hope your falling stars
to tear your wings to forever fall in
in a black silence no one to hear
or fear what it is you fear your self
the creation what it is for you to become
questions, answers giving never clear
misunderstood set aside forgotten
lost confused , deepest sorrow
yours choices the decisions
never told right from wrong
your long nights your forgotten days
your depressant weather its a sad song
the people around you what you see what you do
not knowing to continue can you fix it?
is it to late? Is it broken?
will we ever know?

DEFINE ONES THOUGHTS

Everyone judges just a bunch of sins
minutes until you begin to break
left alone to start your night
room of silence with a razor blade
the black heart the flowing blood
The sudden rush all the questions
start to let go wake up still the same
now you move along
listen to the same sad song
watch your life as it replays
the faces the looks
your judgement day
Emo isn't the only thing
Change of style Lack of respect
always in denial guide lines set
sudden hope thought of life
crashing dreams falling stars
hidden pain your just left to be blamed

EM0TI0NLESS DESIRES

Emotionless desires
All you fucking liars
The pain you put me threw
Only if you knew
The times i said i loved you
Cut after cut Drop after drop
Tear after tear Screams after screams
more and more
Broke my heart right to the core
Emptied my vein word after word
Loss of hope Lie after lie
Never did i hurt you
Never did you cry
Never did you fell this pain you've caused
Nothing will you learn
I hope you have your turn
I hope you feel ones pain
left behind after all of this
None of this will be miss
Emotionless Desires

MY TH0UGHTS

Emotions I hate, Feelings I fear, Love killed me!
What is left for me? Nothing!
I sit her alone in silence and hate all I'm dead!
I dread the new! I forget the past! how long will I last? no more emotions! no more thoughts! never will I love
again!
lies! lies! lies! I tell my self what I want to hear cause I fear the truth.
I fear my fate is over there's no more life! No more will to go on! I quit this all!
I'm to depressed! no more writing! no more lies!
no more love! no more pain! no more suffering!
all I find is hate! hate is what I do. forgive is what I gave up on!
loving is what I forgot you are what is left pain and misery
I'm ended now I found the truth life! why would you do this to me?
make me hurt and feel sorry for you!
I never wanted anything else but to love for you!
I'm all fucked up! I'm bleeding inside!
no more feelings! no more pain!
my hate grows and grows!
I suffer from it! I'm torn apart so worn down!
you will never find me cause I'm buried alive!
I'm 6 ft down! I drown in my own blood and tears!
the emotions are gone and so am I! you lost me!
I'm just a memories that will slowly fade !

SCATTERED FEELINGS

so wanna run threw a field of clouds you can touch? take a star and put it in your pocket?
fall on to the softest flower bed?
is this love or a dream? ahhh! i want to scream! but im dead!
no one will hear my pain! my plea for life!
bring me back! ahhhhhh! this painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Make my suffering go away!
bring me light take my darkness!
hide my fears and what i've done!
cover my scars hide my past!
bring me a new beginning!
found new love a sighn of happiness.
dont want to hurt! dont want to cry!
one last chance to be happy or i die!
no more fixing! no more running!
end it hear! end it now!
give my heart a chance to beat! my blood to flow!
let me know i am alive! until the day i die!

why?

Day after day! i hurt for what i lose!
i fear for what i gain! I'm ashamed of what i am!
i live at night! where i do not care!
where the darkness hides me from the truth! from the
wolrd!
where i can feel alive! my cry's! my screams!
but nobody hears me do they care?

0NE LAST CUT

One last cut to be made One last breath to take
Turn off the light No more sound No more sight
Pain to end just one last cry my plea to end
187 to my heart a title to defend Run away from my problems Run away from those I love For those who hurt me I thank you now
Life was good And over now every drop is a lost it was my turn to pay the cost
hate this suffering This pain that just grew and grew
Never meant ed To feel this way nor ask to cry
Do not pity for what is done understand I loved no one
Beneath the surface I shall rest a silence to never end
No one to hurt me or deceive me No one to betray my trust A silence that shall always continue . . . . .

. . .As i Lay my self to sleep I say good bye to those i loved
The pain i felt from you is now over a cut to end this night forever
every drop for every time you hurt me good night to the world
this life is done i will not wake i take my time to tell you i loved you
on the other side i will rest this knife of lust to make the final mark
good bye my love and my friends remember me until it ends No cry's for me Im sorry for what i have done!
No stopping now it is to late my soul to rest My love to end. . . . .

THE MISTAKE

The choices ive made so wrong
this is where i do not belong
to wait and follow threw with this
to forget is to hard a cut to remind me each day
the past so real these feelings so fake
i hide this pain that has been done
to start new with that someone i love
The night to end With out silence
a pain to carry in my heart for ever
the scars the memories to go on
death and new life to look for the doors to heaven
to lock my soul in a cage of hate pain and misery
No love to cause me to began again
alone i stay until the very end

HEART 0F HATE

Heart bleeds from my pain this hate
i fear my fate is over Now!
left weak floor covered in blood
crude intentions of what will happen next.
Cover up what has been done clean the mess
So depressed with guilt and fear
Begin a new day with no shame
A cut to my vein for my love to flow of what I had
bad thoughts running out of me this pain so real
no more feelings left to live on to walk the streets so aimlessly
To ignore what has happen to leave the past behind a new beginning with no love
Its over now just this world of hate this untold fate of lies!

Y0UR LIES

You say you love me! But you never ment it
played with my heart like it was a toy
when your lips touch mine i felt so alive but it wasn't real
this was all a nightmare that haunts me now
driving me crazy now a cut to end this pain
my crys! my screams! no one hears me!
everyday i get worse when i see you i hurt from what was done
but i still love you these feelings so real but yet so fake
my heart torn apart for every girl who hurt me no one deserves this pain
you took the last now i live in hate no one to blame
except myself for believing your lies!
day by day i will try to get by but i still wait for the day i die!

TRUTH, DECEPTI0N, S0RR0W

I died for love I bleed to know the truth
the lies made my suffering worse
my crys made you all realize this pain
no light no day to end this
i will leave our world in hate
waiting for the day you die!

as the flames rise in this hate this hell i live
my blood every where for all those times i hurt
for all the pain for all the misery
this hate grows and grows
to wait To need To bleed to the sound of your voice
ahhh Stop this pain stop this suffering
let my soul haunt your dreams wake up in cold sweat
im right behind you haunting you
feel my pain feel my suffering
I will haunt you until the day you die!

C0LD NIGHT

Its getting darker and darker now
where's the light am I alone
no one can hear me can they
what have I done can you stop this blood
its to late no one will hear my cry's for help
as I panic and begin to shake I feel alive
but I am dead the cold so cold
see my last breath in the air I'm turning blue
my heart is frozen in a throne of hate
my last words why would you do this to me
for someone to feel pity its to late now
I'm dead I'm watching you waiting for you to let me go this isn't heaven or hell I'm in between in a world of hate

WHY D0 I ASK THESE QUESTI0NS?

Why Cant i read my own writing
why must my tears fall when i see your face
this pain this suffering want to end
should have known that you where a killer
if you cared then why did this happen
i would have cut my heart out and handed it to you for
love but instead im dead inside with no emotions
a waste of life a mistake
cry myself to sleep at night because i cant take this pain i try so hard to end this but i cant
some one push this blade a little harder end my suffering my being does not matter no one should pity me I'm to far gone
you made me this way with all your hate your selfish ways i do not care what anyone thinks i do not take time to think
these thoughts running threw me killing me more and more ill end it my self with out guilt just want you to know how i really felt

D0 Y0U EVER?

Do you ever stay up late at night and stare at your ceiling ?
Do you ever get that sudden chill ?
Well every night i lay my self to sleep in sorrow
I stare at the ceiling and think
A sudden chill i start to get
My past reminding me that i want to quit
these feelings make me feel worse
the thought of the color of my hearse
Every night i hope to die i begin to try but i cant
Just a mess and a scar to worry about
I live my life in doubt before you meant so much
but now fuck you! this hate is to grate for forgiveness Let me finish this mark of hate let me bleed let every drop count
Im done now its over now Im not a coward But im not a killer
you live a life of deceiving its amazing how gullible and believing i was
and now im dead with no feelings nothing to heal me or make me feel better

ARE Y0U HAPPY?

Ah ripping me apart in side tearing my heart out
every day this pain grows and grows
I get weaker form what I do why did I love you
You killed the last of me and now I bleed
No one will understand my pain I live a life
with clouds and rain But I am sane
no one to tell me different I dont fear what is to come I live my death every day I pay with a cut for my suffering To feel this to live this way is driving me crazy
All this blood these scars this mess this pain to never end no one to defend me or help me in need just this knife to help me bleed my pain away some say this is wrong
but I dont belong here I feared what would happen and its to late
I'm sorry but my fate is over god rest my soul tonight I cant fight this no longer
I belong 6 ft under where ill live at peace with no one to bother
why am i hear? answer me! tell me do i belong?
i do not understand! what is to become?

N0T THE WAY T0 END

Heart beating so fast beginning to shake
what have I done how could I make this mistake
blood slowly running down my arm pushing harder and harder Why would I hurt the one I truly love knowing that we can never be
Feelings that I thought where dead so alive killing me ripping me apart
I'm feed up with this life do not stop this knife of death let me finish what has begone I'm done with these emotions These lies of love I want to live to the sound of your voice to the touch of your lips
but it wont happen cause you lied to me and killed my heart
I do not now wish to leave this world with out that last goodbye
before I take my life I give you the last of my love dont cry or ever worry
dont feel guilt or pity or sorrow for what has happen I put my self to rest
for only it is the best for me I will slowly fade from your memories a thought no longer

DEPRESSI0N IS MADNESS

Laying here holding on tightly watching my surroundings so much running threw my mind blood seeping threw these walls the screams the terror this nightmare is not yet over
unfolding my mind these hurtful thoughts these unintended feelings
driving me insane starting to tear at my self to ease my pain
not helping every one sees my marks of hate to stop it is to late
Slowly i begin to cut to take away my thought of death my breathing gets deeper my rage grows stronger
even though i know whats caused this!
The Touch from the angel of death
so nice and cunning on the out side
but filled of hate and deception
not a thought of pain to cause the horror of there faces of those she kills
no sadness no feelings just this knife of lust to stop this madness

LAST NIGHT

This Night This very Night Do Not say you love me For your lies For your hate I Stand here Right here in front of you This knife For this cut Do you see Do you see what you have caused
A slice to my vein to bleed you away Do you feel that?
Feel my pain
my hate running out of me my love my thoughts of you
dripping down my arm
My soul To leave this body this body you killed I will
watch from heavens as you burn in hell

EVERY?

Every question Every answer
Every thought Every lie
The mistake misunderstood
The Screams The crys
The wounded The week
To be lost To be forgotten
Stop the thoughts , mistakes ,
the blood the tears
feel weak feel sorrow
No pity from others
No answers for there question
excuses never to be understood
The promise to be broken
forget it all , left behind
alone never to be understood

T0 QUIT

I just let go
To give up on the thought
the empty sky My crys
the pain The suffering My own sorrow
Don't know where to go always giving up
To break apart , to fall , to crawl for help
the flow , every drop of blood ever tear to drop
the crys the screams the fear the lost
to run to forget to stop to drop
to break down not realize to suffer
to cut to bleed to be mistaken
not to be forgiven to be hated
how to stop not to know
to pity on yourself how to quit
make these thoughts go away

Only If You Knew What It Is Like

Only if you could see across
the dark field I lye To understand
All of the emotions that are inside
Not letting out what should be forgotten
misery is just the beginning in which I stand
Not knowing or trying to see what is to come
None of this is right to me
Can you see how I feel
Will you Understand what I will become
Some of you think you do know
Some of you bring me to my lowest and call out my weakness I can not fight it or will I try
I don't belong I understand
Run away from my problems I will do
Only you will know why I am this way
Because you make it with all your remarks
To sit in the dark not knowing
Of what will be
Never will anyone see my path
They try to make it for me
Or prevent me from what I wish to do
Judge me and your judgement day will come to
Despise me and be despised
Love me and be loved
Care and be cared for
But do not take the little heart I have left for your spite and to hurt me take it to care for me and love me
until then I will mend with this broken heart I have.

This is what we would do?

Would you be the one?
The one to end this pain?
Misery is not ment to be
Now togeather we shall
Watch as you rub this blade across my neck
The blood to flow the tears to fall
To call out my one last goodbye
But In the end we will realize
It's Didn't matter to any
That I died!

( Views of Now )

I walk among you as the dead
to be seen but yett not understanded
I talk I smile I giggel!
All of lies to hide my sorrow
I died months ago
My heart still beats
Of what is left of it!
Another girl waits to Kill the last of me
Do you see what I am like
I don't Care anymore
I've given up
Im Here but I'm not
I shall walk and talk to all as it is normal
But yett I stay Dead and wait For my funneral
When will I die?

The lord's Prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Music

All American Rejects
A Black Rose Burial
A Love Like Pi
Armor For Sleep
Atreyu
Avenged Sevenfold
Black My Heart
Blink 182
Bloodhound Gang
Brand New
Bury Your Dead
Cheap Trick
Chiodos
Cky
CypressHill
Dope
Fall Out Boy
Finch
Flogging Molly
From First To last
From A Second Story Window
Gorillaz
Green Day
Hawthorne Heights
Head Automatica
Hello Goodbye
Hollywood undead
Hot Hot Heat
In Harms Way
Journey
Korn
Letter Five
Linkin Park
Liability Of My Own
Mindless Self Indulgence
My Chemical Romance
No Hollywood Ending
On Broken Wings
Panic At The Disco
Pink Floyd
Rise Against
Relient K
Senses Fail
Slip Knot
sublime
Seconds From The End
SwitchFoot
The Killing Sequence
The Killers
The Number 12 Looks Like You
The Skyline Dream
The Used
UnderMinded
Underoath
Weezer
Well Off G'sBands
Chiodos Hollywood Undead Enter Shikari No Hollywood Ending River Bottom Nightmare My America Panic At The Disco Say Anything

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