Merciful Death [DF] profile picture

Merciful Death [DF]

How you love your precious guilt.

About Me


Home | Mail I'm a 21-year-old student attending university full-time, with a part-time job working third shift at Target. I am a sucker for French poetry, and I speak a decent amount of the language. I've been to Paris, and I would give anything to go back, because it feels like home. I feel like I'm too old to be obsessed with vampires, but I'm positively enthralled. I'm an agnostic, vegetarian, aspiring writer, avid reader, lover, liberal....
I cry at anything beautiful, sad, poignant or meaningful. I'm too sensitive and overly emotional, but I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I am afraid of rejection. I am afraid of failing. I am afraid of disappointing others, and of losing them. I get high off of love, music, and the written word. Robert Smith lives inside my head - I am sure of it. I feel like I should have been born into a different time period. Dancing is good for my soul, especially in platform boots. I like to spend my nights burning candles and incense and sipping red wine. I am a person of great passion, and that is, quite possibly, the most important thing for any of you to know.
"Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way." - Janet Fitch, White Oleander.

My Interests

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (BPAL), vampires, DDR, Guitar Hero, reading, writing, emotions, the French language and culture, music, musicals, Paris, romanticism, nighttime, cemeteries, animal rights, vegetarianism/veganism, sleeping, baths, compassion, intellectually stimulating conversations, cats, poetry, libraries, cafes, dancing, procrastination, travel, sexuality, pirates, the Renaissance, The Middle Ages/Medieval times, chivalry, alcohol, philosophy, etc.

I'd like to meet:

Maybe someday, if there is something more than nothingness after this life is through...I'll see you there.

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask."

"We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict."

"Violence isn't always evil. What's evil is the infatuation with violence."

- James Douglas Morrison

Music:

Including but not limited to:

London After Midnight, The Cure, Depeche Mode, The Cruxshadows, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Loreena McKennitt, 30 Seconds to Mars, Vast, Psyclon Nine, Tool, Placebo, AFI, Diary of Dreams, Apoptygma Berzerk, Assemblage 23, Tiamat, Clan of Xymox, Nine Inch Nails, VNV Nation, Chopin, Beethoven, Cocteau Twins, Midnight Syndicate, Type O Negative, Hocico, Suicide Commando, Faith and the Muse, Cinema Strange, Fields of the Nephilim, The Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus, The Cult, Siouxsie and the Banshees, KMFDM, , Turmion Katilot, Front Line Assembly, Velvet Acid Christ, David Bowie, A Perfect Circle, Abney Park, Acid Bath, Android Lust, Billy Idol, Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Dead Can Dance, Lacrimosa, Lacuna Coil, Neuroticfish, My Dying Bride, Orgy, Zeromancer, Queen, Sarah McLachlan, Snake River Conspiracy, soulwhirlingsomewhere, Switchblade Symphony, The Birthday Massacre, The Mission, ::wumpscut::, The March Violets, The Shroud, Gary Numan, Killing Joke, etc.

Movies:

Interview with the Vampire, Phantom of the Opera, The Crow, The Lost Boys, Pirates of the Caribbean, Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest, Stage Beauty, Life Is Beautiful, V for Vendetta, Immortal Beloved, Lord of the Rings, Rock Star, A Knight's Tale, The Doors, Mrs. Doubtfire, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, Underworld, Bram Stoker's Dracula, The Wedding Singer, Billy Madison, William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Shrek 2, Team America, Saw, The Notebook, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 10 Things I Hate About You, Dirty Dancing, Closer, Life As A House, American Beauty, The Libertine, Hook, Labyrinth, Requiem for a Dream, Fight Club, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Princess Bride, The Count of Monte Cristo, Dead Poets Society.

Television:

Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Jeopardy, Spongebob Squarepants.

Books:

Lost Souls by Poppy Z Brite, Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind, Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake novels, The Embrace by Aphrodite Jones, Piercing the Darkness by Katherine Ramsland, Voice of the Blood by Jemiah Jefferson, Harry Potter series by JK Rowling, Silk by Caitlin Kiernan, The Silver Kiss by Annette Curtis Klause, Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, Tithe by Holly Black, The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge by Rainer Maria Rilke, The Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant, American Gods by Neil Gaiman, Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, Dante's Inferno, Les Fleurs du Mal by Baudelaire, Residence on Earth by Pablo Neruda, Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, almost anything by Francesca Lia Block.
Poets: Charles Baudelaire, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Verlaine, John Keats, Pablo Neruda, Walt Whitman, W.B. Yeats, Dylan Thomas, Richard Siken, Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley, Tennyson, etc.
Currently reading: Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, Interview with the Vampire (yet again - it's been too long since I last read it) by Anne Rice.

Heroes:

♥ Jim Morrison
♥ my parents

My Blog

Finally taking charge of my health.

On Monday, I made the conscious decision to take charge of my weight. I am overweight for my height, apparently, though no one ever tells me that they think I need to lose weight. Most people think I ...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 12:15:00 PST

I am an awful friend.

I feel like a terrible friend. I feel like I am too inattentive to other people, especially my friends, and I feel horrible about that. I get so caught up in my own life that I unintentionally neglect...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 04:31:00 PST

Heartbreaking

I saw the most heartbreaking thing today. I went down to the bank this morning to deposit my paycheck, and when I was getting back in my car to leave, I looked over to my left and saw an old woman sit...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 06:11:00 PST

Happiness

We are all searching for happiness, but what is "happiness"? Most of us characterize happiness as the realization of our greatest desires, but not all of these desires can always be fulfilled, and it ...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Mon, 14 May 2007 01:00:00 PST

Literature = Passion

"You will not be remembered if you die now. You will be buried and mourned by a few, and what more can you ask for. But you feel so tremendously alone, because you fear that your blood is not strong o...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Mon, 14 May 2007 02:20:00 PST

OH MON DIEU!

Bruno Pelletier - Le Temps Des Cathedrales (from the comedie-musicale "Notre-Dame de Paris") The very first time I saw this video back in my high school French class, I seriously ...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 11:31:00 PST

Christmas!

After wanting a digital camera for a very long time, I got one for Christmas this year! Yay! So now I'm sure to be annoying by making picture posts all the time. I already have a colletion of photos f...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 01:37:00 PST

the best Cult song ever.

GUH. Ian Astbury was so so hot. My kind of man. Mmhmm.This song makes me want to go crazy. In a good way. Every time I hear it I just have the greatest urge to jump up and dance like a fiend.The Cult ...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Sat, 04 Nov 2006 04:12:00 PST

I MET AFI!!!

Okay, this is going to be a long entry, so bear with me. First of all, I hope everyone had a great Halloween. I didn't do anything tonight because I was too exhausted, but last night totally made up f...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 12:04:00 PST

black raven tea!

I am stupidly excited about this so I have to share. Look at what I bought at Wegman's!!!"Darkly delicious black currant Black Raven Tea. This luscious black currant tea blend is a Polished Paean of P...
Posted by Merciful Death [DF] on Tue, 24 Oct 2006 04:37:00 PST