Drunken Ju Jitsu. Last week, after a punishing regime of fags, ale and vodka, I pile-drived a slight girl from Cardiff into a dance-floor with my formiddable, right arm, left shoulder reverse/full body-slam combo. She learnt her lesson; she spent the night in accident and emergency. Any other chicks out there (who also have absolutely no knowledge of Ju Jitsu or indeed, any other fighting skills) who think they can take me on, prepare to be leathered.Anthromorphosising pets (cats, dogs, guineapigs etc). I also have an interesting array of personality disorders: Capgras Syndrome, Kretschmer's paranoia, Bluebeardism, Boring Bastardism etc.
The man who could drink me under the table.
Pixies, Stones, Kings Of Leon, Beck, Kinks, Pulp, The Left Banke, Elliott Smith, Cat Stevens, The Beach Boys, T-Rex, Bowie, The Stooges, Ramones, The Breeders, Bobby Conn, Grandaddy, Grant Lee Buffalo, Neil Young, Velvet Underground, Nico, Love, Roxy Music, Ween, The Smiths, The Zombies, Syd Barrett, Pavement ...
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, An American Werewolf In London, The Lady Killers, Raiders Of The Lost Ark/The Last Crusade, Solaris, Harold And Maude, Five Easy Pieces, The Last Detail - and all Hal Ashby films, The Shining, 2001, Full Metal Jacket, The Wicker Man, The Big Lebowski, Rushmore, Billy Liar, Its A Wonderful Life, Harvey, Withnail & I, Quadrophenia, Eraser Head, The Party, Quatermass and The Pit, The Devil Rides Out, The Legend Of the Werewolf, A Hard Days Night, Saturday Nights, Sunday Mornings, The Dresser, The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, They Shoot Horses Don't they?, Ed Wood, Get Carter, Lost Highway ...
The Singing Detective (and everything else by Dennis Potter), Steptoe and Son, Rising Damp, The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin, Blackadder, The Mighty Boosh, Father Ted, Ren and Stimpy, The Sopranos, Brass Eye.
Charles Bukowski, John Fante, Henry Miller, Raymond Carver, William Burroughs, Anais Nin, Knut Hamsun, Dambudzo Marecherra, Douglas Adams, Louis Ferdinand Celine, Miguel De Cervantes, Michel Houellebecq, Harland Miller, Martin Amis, Jean Genet, Rabelais, Edgar Allen Poe, Anthony Burgess, John Kennedy Toole, George Orwell, Lewis Carrol, Oscar Wilde, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Kurt Vonnegut, Hunter S. Thompson, Gogol, B. S. Johnson, H H Munroe, Alphonse Allais ...
Kim Deal, Bill Hicks, Keith Richards, Sherlock Holmes.