Johnny the Hearse profile picture

Johnny the Hearse

If you need any help with the coffin, call me.

About Me

I am a 1966 Pontiac Superior Consort endloader hearse. You can find me hobnobbing with my fiends in the Vintage Hearse Association at various undisclosed locations around Los Angeles.

• 124" wheelbase - 221.8" overall length
• V-8 - 389 cu. in. - 10.5:1 compression ratio
• Turbo Hydra-Matic transmission
• High octane [lead preferred] 26.5 gal. of fuel
• Original body by Fisher

My driver is the AArtVark.

Check out our hearsezine!

My Interests

Transporting loved ones to their final resting places. Participating in funerary rites. Relaxing in the graveyard. Acting. Modelling. Drinking gas. Shiney caskets, well constructed toe pinchers, antique church trucks, old gurneys. Reminding people that life is short and death does not discriminate. I enjoy being waxed and polished.

I'd like to meet:

Dead people. Trocar handlers. Other hearses, particularly of the Pontiac variety.

Music:

Funeral music.

Movies:

Night of the Living Dead. The Loved One.

Television:

The Addams Family. The Munsters. The Michael Lesy series which aired on PBS once upon a time, "Death, the Trip of a Lifetime".

Books:

American Funeral Vehicles. The Loved One. The Principles and Practice of Embalming. The Midst of Winter. The Forbidden Zone. H.P. Lovecraft, Thomas Lynch, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Edgar Allan Poe, Colin Wilson.