****PROUD SUPPORTER OF THE IPPYS****
My names is boris, i come from vlikskirov just outside rzido in rural russia. when boris was child he played for dynamo Vlikskirov wanderers under 42's untill boris was substituted in the 83rd minute after a dangerous tackle which ended his career he was too poor to have. boris spend no time in hospital as he was too poor for the russian health service. although badly maimed by the machete atack boris was offered five year deal with juventus, boris may be poor but he isnt desperate. after this time boris got job in nuclear powerplant as saftey inspector but boris live in northern russia not ukraine so commuting take many days travel and when boris commuting one day he arrive and chernobel nuclear plant is gone! why could they not just sack me did they have too move the whole plant bloody ukrainian bastards. after this boris was either too lazy or too poor to work so he retired to a state pension, boris gets 6 meal a week 2pints of water a week and 87hours of backbreaking forced labour at a top secret log minning camp on the border. boris is one luckyman too have life so easy, he may be poor but he can always relie on mother russia. boris was too poor to attend paisley uneversity so he had to accept his third choice Harvard law school boris is sad at this but like cat in field by tommoro troubles will be gone. which reminds boris of the a story he is too poor to tell. but youll just have too settle for the one his grandfather stole from a polish imagrant. boris is too poor too use real names so boris will substitue them for his own. when "boris" was child of 23 boris was too poor for dog so his uncle who lived high in the polish mountains gave him a cat and told "boris" not to tell anyone about what his uncle had did with him in the barn. boris would tell you but boris is too poor not to keep a secret. when "boris" arrived home in warsaw he told cat he was now called peter boris was too poor to feed cat so he took cat out a walk on an abandoned polish mine field cat walk 10 paces and...well lets just say boris is too poor for the therapy sessions it would take to get over the sight of peter being eaten by a scavenger child. boris is too poor too watch a real tv programe so boris is forced by wealthy tv exectutives to perform market research by watching the entire archive of holyoaks. boris is too poor to form an opinion but he thinks izzy is very atractive. boris is too poor to continue untill next time goodbye fellow on chair
.. width="425" height="350" ..
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Boris (just boris like madonna)
Birthday: Russian state officails prevent boris from saying
Birthplace: Vlickskirov
Current Location: Vlickskirov county jail as boris has previosly stated his birthday on this page
Eye Color: black
Hair Color: black
Height: Freakishly tall
Right Handed or Left Handed: boris prefers too be hit with a left hand
Your Heritage: boris is too poor for heritage although he once vistited dunaskin heritage centre
The Shoes You Wore Today: boris lost shoes in poker game
Your Weakness: money
Your Fears: capatlists
Your Perfect Pizza: pizza is italian boris believe that perfection outside the soviet union is imposble
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: escape mandatory probing
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: poor with a capital O
Thoughts First Waking Up: boris does not sleep
Your Best Physical Feature:
Your Bedtime: boris has no bed as soveit leader says sleep lessens the your commitment to russia
Your Most Missed Memory: the one boris was beaten and told to forget
Pepsi or Coke: soviet cola
MacDonalds or Burger King: boris was too poor to go to school but is it not spelt MCdonalds
Single or Group Dates: single dates boris can only handle one day at a time
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither boris has never heard of them
Chocolate or Vanilla: soviet russia has enhanched genetics programme so boris could have chonilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: boris drinks both as not sleeping is realy tiring
Do you Smoke: boris does not no which substances you are refering too
Do you Swear: i swore elegance too russia
Do you Sing: only the gilm of the ussr
Do you Shower Daily: no
Have you Been in Love: boris is too poor for love
Do you want to go to College: yes but boris is too poor or too clever he knows of boy callum who is unable to comprehende electronics course
Do you want to get Married: boris was married 7 times before so yes boris would like too try again
Do you belive in yourself: yes if you dont beleive in yourself you could vanish
Do you get Motion Sickness: only on the soviet g force machine
Do you think you are Attractive: boris is too poor to attract
Are you a Health Freak: boris has many illness
Do you get along with your Parents: boris parents die in cattle fire
Do you play an Instrument: no boris is too poor for musical creative
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: vodka
In the past month have you Smoked: again boris knows not what you are refering too
In the past month have you been on Drugs: only soviet approved drugs
In the past month have you gone on a Date: boris is too poor for love
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: boris is too poor for shopping
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: boris would like to ask what the fuck are oreos
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: boris always eats cold partialy cooked fish
In the past month have you been on Stage: boris is too poor for showbiz
In the past month have you been Dumped: yes boris was interogated and dumped by the side of the road in the middle of the dessert
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: yes
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: boris stole the hearts and sole of a nation with his heart rendering audition on x-factor of my heart will go on by celion deon
Ever been Drunk: boris is never sober
Ever been called a Tease: of coarse
Ever been Beaten up: yes by state officails
Ever Shoplifted: no too quote old joke boris is not irish
How do you want to Die: boris is going to die?! when was premier tranov going to tell boris
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: older
What country would you most like to Visit: ukraine
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: too poor
Favourite Hair Color: too poor
Short or Long Hair: too poor
Height: too poor
Weight: too poor
Best Clothing Style: too poor
Number of Drugs I have taken: 396,173.2
Number of CDs I own: 0 boris only have vinyl
Number of Piercings: 7 rectal 3 scroatal
Number of Tattoos: 1 off soviet fedarations empire
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 0
click here to see naked pictures of boris! - or - click here to vistit mcdonalds.com!
