Before you go anywhere, this page is best viewed in Firefox. If you do not know what this is, I assume you are very new to the net or a total lamer. Either way....
Update! 27/07/2008
Hey kids! It's been so long since I updated my page, but the good news is I am back online at home (finally!) SO it's back to the old ways of myspace madness! I am now working for Virgin mobile, so far so good, happy to be keeping busy and making money again. The ironic thing is that now I have so much less spare time I will probably do more with it because it is precious to me. So hopefully there will be lots of new stuff coming on to this page as I create it! I look forward to chatting and catching up with you all a lot more in the near future. PEACE!
Welcome to my corner of the web, pull up a chair and have some hot cocoa or a tall glass of iced tea (depending on your current weather conditions). What you are reading is likely to be a little unusual, lacking in organisation and rigidity and may not make perfect asparagus. The reason for this? That's what I am like!
My intention in creating this page is to meet diverse ranges of folk from around the globe, share some of my creative side and gain some inspiration from yours.
My quickie blurb reads American born, half Aussie half Asian kid living in Sydney for the last 20 years. High intellect now poorly maintained.
Having led a (searches euphemism engine) "colourful life", I have now found myself in what could be described as an emotional rift. I am stable, hard working (hard enough anyway) and comfortable enough. That however is not enough, there is a shell around me that needs breaking. So in the words of Ben Grimm, "It's clobberin time!"
So if you are reading this now, you have entered my world with the first corner of your left big toe. Inch in a little further in and take a small step. Don't worry, the door will not slam behind you just yet. (Sly smile) You are free to go whenever you wish......
Latest Laughs... ,
Geek Jokes!
Redneck Computer Terms!
Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off: Don't add no wood.
Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.
Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte: That's what the flies do.
Chip: What to munch on.
Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.
Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.
Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.
Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.
Port: Fancy wine.
Enter: C'mon in.
Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.
Male or female?
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain which it was,and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.
What a view!
A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry."
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.
Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?"
"He was looking through the window at us!"