[ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? profile picture

[ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it?

and i'm so shocked that i made it through these billion days...

About Me


"and i hide behind these books i read,
while scribbling
my poetry,
[like art could save a WRETCH like me]
with some ideal ideology
that no one can hope to achieve.
and i am never real;
it is just a sketch in me.
and everything I made is trite
and cheap
and a waste
of paint,
of tape,
of time. "

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My Interests

interesting stuff.

I'd like to meet:

I'D LIKE TO FIND
a real live lover.
lover: (luhv-er) n. one who looks for the beauty in everything, and FINDS it.
update: i found him. ♥

Music:

finch, jlc, seether, staind, primer 55, pm5k, deadsy, a perfect circle, elvis presley (:, reel big fish, incubus, marcy's playground, the donnas, sevendust, reveille, shuvel, factory 81, s.o.r.e., no one, hed pe, five pointe o, dislocated styles, endo, methods of mayhem, candiria, e. town concrete, bionic jive, crazy anglos, skindred, stuck mojo, bobaflex, project 86.cutting crew, atreyu, lit, air supply, bush, lostprophets, trapt, old papa roach, NoFX, the killers, everclear, cake, cold, fear factory, the birthday massacre future leaders of the world, the goo goo dolls, jane's addiction, mr. x's briefcase, nine inch nails, primus, mae, shinedown, pile of heads, jimmy eats world, sober, third eye blind, orgy, the dandy worhols, mushroomhead, fuel, mars volta, the darkness, 3 6 mafia, armor for sleep, smile empty soul, rick springfield, barry white, some 80's stuff, the exies, air supply, tool, 311 sometimes, hinder, less than jake, smashing pumpkins, xyzebra, adema, TURTLENECK (For ben)silverstein (thank you bradpowell♥)the cardigans, coheed & cambria, garbage, hellogoodbye, ivy league, freakhouse, fall out boy, emery, gavin friday, friends of lizzy, hinder, gatsby's american dream, the juliana theory, levinhurst, mas rapido!, jack's mannequin, the offspring, quindon tarver, panic! at the disco, mundy, rufio, senses fail, the starting line, strata, stutterfly, scary kids scaring kids, radiohead, shakira, queens of the stone age, a static lullaby,t-pain, von iva, underoath, mewithoutYou ....buncha other stuff

Movies:

.moulin rouge.of human bondage.pride and prejudice.forrest gump.labyrinth.10 things i hate about you.malibu's most wanted.

Television:

i like the show 24...haha yeah. ripley's believe it or not. as the world turns

Books:

of human bondage, pride and prejudice, BOM

My Blog

please read, he needs your help.

little abe. little bundle of innocence wrapped in love and strength,surrounded by prayers and silent lullabies.little abe dreams while mommy and daddywatch baby's chest rise and fall. naivety at its f...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 11:32:00 PST

slick hair, tired soul. little pennies in a bowl.

flawed couplets. witches' things and dragon wings,my heart's gone all a-flutter.fairies' spells and wedding bells,a pulse thrown in the gutter. i keep my dreams although it seemsi'll never get an answ...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Tue, 05 Jun 2007 02:19:00 PST

we're not machines.

smudged.pasted smile and a paper hearti'll be that little angel you always wanted.little halo made of lies,i'll force this rage inside me.  i'll wear red lipstick and smudged ...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Wed, 23 May 2007 11:35:00 PST

and i crawl while you spit.

gone. (i wish he would've just told me...)i swallowed all my pain, i beat down all my pridetrying to keep you from spreading all those sickly little lies.i just sat there pret...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Mon, 21 May 2007 04:07:00 PST

input.

together. orthapedic shoes and dentures to matchan old leather handbag and just one more batchof cookie dough still baking at three-seventyfive;they're last kiss was at six an...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Sun, 06 May 2007 10:37:00 PST

please just say it.

wall climber. i think i'll take up wall climbing, but just for you. if i close my eyes tight enough and make a wish, do you think you'll be here? i've watched my heart wax and wane, i've seen it fit ...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:18:00 PST

bad ideas.

i don't know what to say. i've made myself sick. i make myself sick. I MAKE MYSELF SICK. i read things i know i shouldn't and i cry for reasons i wish didn't exist. i've got lead grinding, chafin...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 10:40:00 PST

criss-cross applesauce.

stomach lining. how am i supposed to compareto the perfect structure of her cheek bones?how can you look at me when you've made her smile?perfect teeth lined straight in a row,vision of pearls 'round ...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 06:11:00 PST

no, i'm not at all.

clear thick bricks.out of respect for the dead, they say nothing against my name.i'm still breathing but i guess lack of thought implies lifelessness.who knows what life is without love, fear or shame...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 07:51:00 PST

i'm on my feet, i'm on the floor, i'm good to go.

  juliet's jealous. faint smiles and the thoughts that keep them there...i wear my heart on my sleeve. forget about your bad dreams and your worries because i wrote your name all over a paper nap...
Posted by [ jilli ] ever get sick and not know it? on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 12:26:00 PST