I don't like tooting my own horn (in public) so here's an excerpt from my Interpol file:
The Kiwanis Adonis controls all! A shadowy figure, the one known as Jack Longfellow, aka The Kiwanis Adonis aka The Amazin' Mason aka the Knight of Columbus, is rumored to be an elite member of every fraternal organization and secret society in the world! There is some documentation to maintain that he belongs to the Eagles, the Elks, The Moose, The Freemasons, The OddFellows, The Saracen Masons, The Loyal Order of the Water Buffalo, Skull and Bones, The Z Zen Zionists, Opus Dei, The Indiana Corn Masons, The Modern Woodmen of America, The United Order of the Golden Cross, The Bilderbergers, The National Ancient Order of Hibernians, The Rosicrucians, The Shriners, The Knights of the Golden Eagle, The Knights of Columbus, The Knights of Malta, The Knights of Pythias, The Knights Templar, The Stonecutters, and many more. He's a Thugee, a Pinkerton Agent, a Hearst and a Rockefeller (on the Ford side). He's the one who introduced Jack Parsons to L.Ron Hubbard! He's still got grass stains on his knees from the grassy knoll! He's the one who told Vince McMahon to tell Earl Hebner to screw Bret Hart! According to unnamed sources, nary a decision or a dollar is made anywhere around the globe without the Kiwanis Adonis getting a taste.
Government officals have revealed formerly classified files that claim the Kiwanis Adonis in plotting to exert his infulence in the lowly organization known as S.S.P. Wrestling! It appears rumor has become fact, as Kiwanis Adonis is back and is already pulling strings and running things! He is slowly recruiting allies into the greatest wrestling stable in all history, The Secret Society! Every wrestler who has been seen in the company of The Kiwanis Adonis has vehemently denied being any part of this so-called "Secret Society", but their actions clearly show otherwise.
Field agents strongly suggest continued observations of The Kiwanis Adonis' movements the first wednesday of every month at the Re-Bar in Seattle!
I'm available for independant bookings on the west coast. Email: [email protected]
