duct tape, photography, filmmaking, Alphonse Mucha, obviously made-up words, painting little fluffy clouds, necrofrottaphillia, donuts, boneless bananas, Klimt, Silent Cinema, Jazz Age, Art Deco / Art Nouveau, the Fitzgeralds, androgyny, Marlene Dietrich, scotch, bourbon, smoking to look cool, anything banned in Malaysia, Gloria Swanson, Tallulah Bankhead, Mod / Glam Rock, Z-Man, pattern clash, over-tweezed eyebrows, drinking with my dogs (one likes whiskey, autoerotic trepanation, the other beer), Man Ray, vintage erotica, Erte, photo booths, Champagne Brunch, being gay to pick up women (not sure why that one hasn't worked yet), being straight to pick up guys (that one does work), sexy sepia grandmothers wearing little more than gams and a smile, Sesame Street (I'm strangely aroused by Big Bird lately), Edvard Munch, Bette Davis eyes, Weimar, pills and liquor, teeth, Anita Berber, Bob Mackie, Fake Eyelashes, long drawn out messy homo-erotic fantasies involving my big hardcore chainsaw and various men my pschopath-slut-whore likes to fuck (you know I love you babe, so you can watch), sex in wal-mart bathrooms, EroGuro, rusty razors and bird bones, stop motion and/or claymation pornography (there just isn't enough of this), carnie-sex, being stabbed, vienna choir boys, fornicating with the enemy, with the help of jack daniels forgetting my life one day at a time, choreographing my own dance numbers (fosse style in zombie makeup), steampunk, sexsomnia, wondering why I don't have a tattoo, getting in violent arguments with myself, bored masturbation in rush hour traffic (yeah I'm that guy in front of you going *really* slow), complete and total word zombination, homemade pornography, hystaria, ripping off my favorite artists (that should read inspired by), whores of Babylon, wondering where my wife is, 'big honking' brass buttons, purikura, fuck-me lipstick, eating seven full meals a day, violent make-up sex, punk rawk faggots in their grandmother's brassiers, playing with dolls, dental records, vengeful girlish castratos, scream queens, erotic shadow puppets, pinstripes, scarves, drunken homicidal peacocks, grave robbing nymphomaniacs, cooking punks, buggery, hardcore bdsm involving disney characters, go go dancers, sacrificial virgins, cats that walk through walls, from reading back over my interests as I write them I apparently am sex-obsessed or hard up, sodomites, voluptuous women with big hair bad attitudes and switchblades, playing dress-up, cocaine and sex crazed sock puppets, vacuuming in the nude, seventies coke whore glam, sixties heroin chic, Edie Sedgewick, asylums, spontaneous human combustion (peaceful sleep, a gallon of gas and a zippo), girls with short hair bad attitudes and whiskey breath, go go dancing vampires in mini skirts, defiling myself, sock garters, the bedazzler, pisces rape, being a poseur (which you can see if for some reason you are still reading), and of course my herculean self-esteem, my healthy self deprecation and my over-used sarcasm.
I'd like to meet:
I'd like a girl with balls... that appreciates a proper grilled cheese sandwhich... who's bat shit crazy so perhaps they won't notice that I'm a little off myself in some areas... hoards vices like they collectible trading cards... knows that some nights shouldn't end until you've been arrested... never grows old... doesn't mind the vulgar stupid crazy shit that comes outa my mouth half the time... is confrontational... is a master erotic shadow puppeteer... can handle that I will probably tell them what I really think... knows their limits when it comes to pills and liquor.
I've met the girl of my dreams and she liked everyone but me.... so fuck all that shit I just said. I'll settle for anyone that still has a few teeth left, has at least one leg and requires only infrequent reinflation.
I miss all the sick fuckos of the world. Not a day goes by where I don't here about one sick bastard or another. Where are they when I need them? :..
I have -No Life-
Check my score
Music:
I like too much music to try and type out some insanely long phallic list that will just eventually get boring as I try and cover every little band that makes me cool because I think I listened to them before you. Just assume my penis is bigger than yours and I bought the concert shirt before you.
I listen mostly to anything independent, lots of 70's glam and punk, a touch of metal and industrial, trip hop, brit-rock, and anything you can get high and/or kill yourself to. Below is my short list of what I really never get tired of listening to. I mostly left out anything too modern, which I may listen to heavily, but I tend to get quickly burned out on.
Lou Reed, Velvet Underground, Iggy Pop/Stooges, David Bowie, New York Dolls, Nick Cave, Mazzy Star, Leonard Cohen, Verve, Sex Pistols, Pixies, Jesus and Mary Chain, PJ Harvey, Sneaker Pimps, William Shatner, Curtis Mayfield, Guns n Roses, Buzzcocks, Brian Eno, Tom Waits, L7, Legendary Pink Dots, Miss Kittin, Nirvana, Cowboy Junkies, Massive Attack, Brian Jonestown Massacre, Dandy Warhols, Flaming Lips, Radiohead, Elliott Smith, Pop Will Eat Itself, Rob/White Zombie, Chicks on Speed, Alice in Chains, Ramones, Skinny Puppy, Dead Kennedys
Movies:
As with music, I am a huge fan of long lists of the same movies that everyone else lists, trying to show how cultured I am by listing what I believe to be obscure. I do like most any movie with any of these people or elements:
Fritz Lang, Ecchi, Guy Maddin, Giallo, Hitchcock, Tentacle Rape, Christopher Doyle, Romero, the hopping dead, Sam Raimi, Russ Meyer, Bruce Campbell, dismembered nude women, Lloyd Kaufman, Wong Kar Wai, Bava and Bava, Amando de Ossorio, Doris Wishman, all things gratuitous, Silent Film, Luis Bunuel, Dario Argento, Jess Franco, John Waters, Terry Gilliam, the occassional Kubrick, Lucio Fulci, Nudie Cuties, Nudie Roughies, Category III, *-sploitation, George Melies, GiGi Darlene, Akira Kurosawa, Godard, Fosse, the Z-Man, Russ meyer, Ann-Margret, Fellini, some Lynch, some kubrick, some Scorsese, well choreographed zombie dance sequences, and the beautiful mushroom wonder that is nuclear radiation known to spawn wave after wave of creatures for our drive-in/make-out pleasure.
... and then a few odds and ends: Night Porter, Of Freaks and Men, Zorro the Gay Blade, Blue Angel, Das Boot, Wild Zero, Cabinet of Dr Caligari, Conan the Barbarian, Chunking Express, The Road Warrior, The Last Dragon, Birth of a Nation, Deliverance, Irreversable, Wise Blood, A Fish Called Wanda, Chinatown, Saturday Night Fever, Death Bed, Urotsukidoji, and Eraserhead.
Television:
rots your brain which is a damn good way to protect yourself against the ubiquitous zombie infestation that permeates cicles such as these.
I don't watch much TV anymore, but when I did it was mostly Absolutely Fabulous, Twilight Zone, Doctor Who, MST3K, the Flying Circus, Hitchcock Presents, Tales from the Dark Side and the Red Shoe Diaries (I only watched it for the articles).
Books:
Bunnicula, Nancy Drew, Venus in Furs, Choose Your Own Adventure Erotica. I guess I'll have to fess up to the occassional guilty pleasures left over from an earlier day (Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Douglas Adams, William Gibson, Lovecraft and Poe).
Heroes:
Linda Carter, The Wonder Twins, Marchesa Luisa Casati and Bruce Campbell.
