The Honourable Mark Latham MP! profile picture

The Honourable Mark Latham MP!

If he didn't steal my property he wouldn't have any injuries, so I've done the bare minimum to chase

About Me

Hello Australian public, you insufferable pack of fuck wits. It is me Mark Latham Australia's greatest living author. I should've been Prime Minister but a conga line of suck holes voted and elected that little runt Howard. For Fucks! When will they learn. Then that morbidly obese fatty pumba Beazely took my job when i was suffering through the incredibly traumatic experience of pancreatitis - you'd think he'd know what it is like to be hungry? Now all this was because i wouldn't formally send my regards about some fucking big wave or some thing. Who knows? Look Kim Beazely Jr (ironic use of Jr really) is a dick head of the highest order who couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery if his sizeable arse was on fire. Since politics I have further pursued my passionate interest in smashing the daylights out of useless photographers who clearly want to have sex with my young children. In case you don't know I'm also now an author of the highest order and a home dad. I put anything ever written by that old insipid boring Yarpie Bryce Courtney to shame, same goes for any prick who writes for The Australian or any other newspaper in this unremarkable backwater of a country. That means you Piers Akerman, go back to snorting cocaine off a pigs arse you fat bastard. In conclusion i would like to thank the Australian public for treating me like the Jews treated Jesus, now would you courteously fuck off idiots.

My Interests

Including but by no means limited to violence against comedians, taxi drivers, politicians, photographers, women and children.

I'd like to meet:

Absolutely nobody! Unless you have a 34DD chest and are willing to pour whipped cream over it at Bucks Nights, in that case I will oblige in the spirit of public service and proceed to lick it off.

Music:

That song Bat Out of Hell ruined my career. I could have no credibility after that. Meat Loaf is a useless conservative dimwited bible bashing Christian anyway. Meat Loaf would probably be lucky to get a gig at Hillsong these days with that little God warrior Guy Sebastian and Peter Costello taking to the stage to impress all the Jesus jumpers. Meat Loaf's next gig will probably be Tony Abbot's funeral, at least we can hope.

Movies:

The Dismissal, it was about time they got rid of that useless old cunt Gough when they did. Useless prick.

Television:

Mark Latham Does Question time: The Golden Years 1993-2004. You should also get a copy of me intellectually obliterating those useless pufters Andrew Denton, Laurie Oakes and Tony Jones on any given occasion.

Books:

Latham Diaries (on par within anything ever written by that fucken pom who couldn't spell properly Shakespeare). My new books out around Christmas so get yourselves a copy and learn to read you illiterate half wits.

Heroes:

SIR John Kerr, a man of great courage and conviction who took the essential step to ensuring Australia was better place by sacking Whitlam. Whitlam the old fuck was useless in the first place nothing but a pompous old toss. What kind of aussie lad reads latin. Don't get me started on Keating, probably got his obscence looking head shoved up an antique clock in a pufterish Paddington antique store.

My Blog

The tragedy of genius, and the triumph of mediocrity.

Well emo arselickers it has been some time, and what a time it has been.  Since this prolific sick cunt currently typing this bulletin with the grace and eloquence of 100 fucking flamingos has la...
Posted by The Honourable Mark Latham MP! on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 02:45:00 PST

Get fucked Australia!

Greetings from the fucken Valley arselickers!It has recently come to my attention why the incredibly fucken honourable member for Werriwa (me dense cunts) lost the last federal election to a pack of a...
Posted by The Honourable Mark Latham MP! on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 06:38:00 PST

There's a bright golden haze on the meadow!!!

Greetings arse lickers!How are we all this splendid evening? Tonight is a rare occasion for Latho is finally happy....i'm even going to use one of those gimp emotion pieces of shit to express my utter...
Posted by The Honourable Mark Latham MP! on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 04:10:00 PST

Don't smash a taxi driver, smash a poof!

The most honourable member for Werriwa..like ever, demands your attention!Whilst the Howard government has been criticised by many in the community we should take a moment to reflect on their success....
Posted by The Honourable Mark Latham MP! on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 08:59:00 PST

Suit up...how to get bulk bad bitches!

Once again the Honourable member has decided to sacrifice some of his home dad time and share with you some fucking insurmountable words of wisdom. Before I divulge this prophecy I state unequivocall...
Posted by The Honourable Mark Latham MP! on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 08:55:00 PST