Rev. Jakup Martini profile picture

Rev. Jakup Martini

My balls are my passport........ verify me

About Me

"...all that exists in life is this; The choice between fear & love"
~Bill Hicks
I'm not different, in fact, I'm actually the exact clone of someone else.
I believe perception is reality, and in an effort to keep it "real" I'll just tell you what people think of me;
I have a really, really loud voice, and a somewhat sick sense of humor. I think many normal people would call me perverse. I'm obsessive. I tend to take things too far. There's a point where something becomes funny and then there's another point beyond that where it becomes 'not funny'... I live right around there. I look mad about 84 percent of the time. It's mostly because I think me being angry is more handsome than me being happy and smiling like a dumbass, and I'd rather not look like a dumbass. I am very loyal, but will lie if the story doesn't seem fantastic enough. Do not listen to facts that I say that involve numbers, I either don't remember the exact number or lie. I can be brave if I am proving someone wrong or standing up for someone else - but the rest of my life I'm kinda a coward. I have a really loud voice. Seriously - I yelled so loud one time that I skipped the CD player in my car... chuk was there, true story. I'm a relationship guy, on my way to getting married. I'm afraid of fitting in AND standing out. I'll only show off around shy people, and become a hermit with any extrovert. I hate silly conversations about nothing, and if I see someone I know in public I will usually avoid contact. There is no forsee-able end to either my life or this paragraph. I cannot resist the urge to regret anything. I am deathly afraid of being annoying. I would usually rather stay home. I believe in the inhearent good in most people, but know weakness like the back of my hand. I am obsessed with the idea of fairness and believe that that is my biggest flaw,.. well, that & all the other things that people don't like about me.

My Interests

Shredding, Playing, Drinking, Eating, SugarDicking, Steadyboning, Doin' it, Moustaches, not shaving, Pabst Blue Ribbon (you my boy blue!!!), Zero, Moochie, Casa Loma, Venice, Mohawks, My balls not iching, storming places (wearing armor), Beards, Moonshine, Copper, Miller High Life, Errol Morris, existentialism, making babies, paying child support, leaving town in the middle of the night and not saying goodbye.

I'd like to meet:

You know, I'd really like to meet all of you... maybe for a coke or milkshake. We could hang out I think, at least once, but after that I will probably end up not ever wanting to see any of you again. It's the nature of the beast.
I'd probably get more of a kick out of the following kinds of people; musicians with talent, artists, philosophers, people with big authoritative voices (James Earl Jones), Gospel singers that can scream the sin out of me, PHOTOGRAPHERS that make every-day mundane objects look like art, world class drummers, someone who can answer all the questions on Jeopardy while smoking a 6 foot bong (met one once, breathtaking really…), hot girls doing math, doctors, surgeons of any field, Snoop Dogg, anyone with a healthy self image, anyone who’s read Psycho Cybernetics, and of course anyone who has an album from any of these three bands:
FRED GREEN
WEAPON OF CHOICE
KING'S X
I'm always up for strange phone calls and wierd IM's so bug me whenever;
Yahoo Messenger - jakup_martini
MSN - [email protected]
I also want to re-start the following weekly activities and am in dire need of a running crew; movie night, bowling night, poker night, & Strip/Shot TRIVIAL PERSUIT NIGHT!!!!

Music:

If you're reading this, stop right now and go to http://www.myspace.com/thethetastate and listen to the new shit.
Bonnie Tyler - Cause every now and then I think I'm falling in love...
Rammstein
Theta State
Soundgarden
King's X
Bob Marley
Muse
Toots
The Police
Dr. Dre
Snoop
Audioslave
Weapon Of Choice
Fred Green
Radiohead
Coheed (thanks to Shawn)
Refused (also thanks to Shawn)
Outkast
Ugly Duckling
Bob Dylan
Toadies
Terence Trent D'Arby
Rollins Band
Peter Tosh
Average White Band
Foreigner
Talib Kweli
Michael McDonald
Erykah Badu
Jon Brion
Danny Elfman
Elliott Smith
Martin Sexton
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
The Doors
Moody Blues
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Earth Wind Fire
Brothers Johnson
The Ohio Players
Bootsy
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Urge
Eurythmics
Tchaikovsky
Talking Heads
Screaming Trees
Crosby Stills Nash & Young
Charlie Daniels
Frank Zappa and the Mothers Of Invention
Johnny Cash
Phil Collins
Harry Belafonte
Tito Puente
Gwar
Music, when you think about there being only 12 notes, and in any song without modulation, you're really only dealing with about 8. Still there are millions upon millions of songs and millions to still be written. I love music. I feel it's a form of creation that brings us closer to what we truly were made to be. And yes, I am talking about Rammstein...

Movies:

Comedian Mitch Hedberg Letterman Stand up


One of comedian Mitch Hedberg's last televised stand ups. Man, Cocaine sucks... My favorite comic ever, didn't know about him untill after he died.Enjoy! Movies I Own:
Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
Airplane!
Alice In Wonderland
Anchorman
Big Lebowski
Caddyshack
Up In Smoke
Cable Guy
Go
High Fidelity
Life Aquatic
O Brother Where Art Thou
Scrooged
Collateral
Die Hard
The Game
Man On Fire
Minority Report
Predator, RUUnnnnnn Get to the choppaaaaa!!!
Saving Private Ryan
Seven
Sneakers
True Romance
12 Monkeys
Way Of The Gun
American Beauty
Braveheart
Clay Pigeons
Cooler
Cast Away
Donnie Darko
Devil's Advocate
Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind
Edward Sissorhands
Falling Down
Fisher King
Good Will Hunting
Garden State
Heat
JFK
Last Samurai
Lord Of The Rings
Lost In Translation
Magnolia
Meet Joe Black
Memento
Mindnight In The Garden Of Good and Evil
Perfect World
Perfect Storm
Punch Drunk Love
Royal Tenenbaums
Shade
Signs
Suicide Kings
Traffic
25th Hour
unbreakable
Wall Street
Village,
Movies I Wish I Had:
Brain Candy,
Bread & Tulips,
All Kung Fu, no one reads this...

Television:

Television rapes your mind like a jock on prom night.
Of course, there is; Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Space Ghost, Beavis & Butthead re-runs, Actually Anything on Cartoon Network, Dicovery Channel, History Channel, or VH1.
Shit, it kinda sounds like I watch tv now...
Oh well, I guess I should say I like hypocrites too.

Books:

A brief History Of Time, The Space Trilogy - C.S.Lewis, Colon Psychology, The Inner Struggle - A. H. Bungderson, Psycho Cibernetics, Radical Honesty, The Stronger Sex

Heroes:

Peter Vankman, Phil Collins, Michael Balsary, ...

My Blog

Fear, Pain & The Amygdala

Annnnnd the beat is by the Reverend... Buddha said once that you cannot firmly grasp one thing, and reach for another... In what I think has been some pretty introspective months;...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 11:30:00 PST

A quote from our President...

"an evil exists that threatens every man, woman and child of this great nation. We must take steps to ensure our domestic security and protect our homeland."~adolph hitler (while announcing the gestap...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 10:53:00 PST

Paradise?

I'm living in paradise, but whose pair of dice is this?I only rolled the die once.and made my life amissI'm living with paradise, but whose pair of dice is this?I cannot claim to have lovefor my life'...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Thu, 17 May 2007 12:29:00 PST

Anger, Friends, Pain & Family

Nope, No player with stupid beats for today's blog. I haven't been able to upload any new beats for a while... It sucks. I miss it... I probably shouldn't write blogs like this. Just like you shouldn'...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Wed, 28 Mar 2007 12:28:00 PST

Do I See The Painful Choice, As An Inevitable Mistake?

It's Cold. It's 9:57 am. and I have no way to fathom where I am. This is a big Beautiful house - yes  - but c'mon, I know you all think I'm retarded for moving away from LA. I haven't really writ...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 11:38:00 PST

Friends & Fakers...

Beat's By The Reverend... You know who's bugging me a lot lately? I mean beside me... These strange & desperate souls that have 1200 friends and are sending me request after request to place...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 12:39:00 PST

Amotivational Syndrome

  Amotivational syndrome is said to be an inability or an unwillingness to participate in normal social situations and activities, a chronic, persistent state of apathy caused by an external eve...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Fri, 11 Aug 2006 02:00:00 PST

Shady Mother Fuckers...

This is a reply that my girlfriend recieved after submitting to a modelling job on Craigs list: Please read and enjoy: Date: Tue, 18 Jul 2006 10:04:26 -0700 From: "Dennis Filmon" dendenfilms@...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 01:41:00 PST

Minute City, Stuff & Things...

So I've been seeing a lot of profiles from people with only one picture, no info, no who I'd like to meet, just MinuteCity advertising and flash examples from the site. This is fucking bullshit. I rea...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 03:10:00 PST

Hotels, Roomservice, & THE MINI BAR!

What the flapjack? SO! I'm in Chicago for a few days getting my brain streached to the max. My neocortex is soar as a mofo. Staying at the Hyatt. Nice place... blah blah blah All I want to do at the ...
Posted by Rev. Jakup Martini on Sun, 09 Apr 2006 11:04:00 PST