matthew. profile picture

matthew.

im not a valedictorian but i play one on the tv.

About Me

i have a fake knee and a coffee table shaped like the united states.

My Interests

soaring eagles, stirrup pants, mark spitz.

I'd like to meet:

people with crooked teeth and pocket knives.

Music:

redd kross, woody guthrie, the stooges.

Movies:

pink flamingos, heathers, paris is burning.

Television:

cops, cheaters, home appliance informercials.

Heroes:

dolly parton, dawn davenport, miss cleo.