Dan Fucking Gillis, III profile picture

Dan Fucking Gillis, III

Fuckin' shit up so you don't have to.

About Me


I've been known to write about the following things for LA Alternative:
An Apology to Becky Regarding Barf

Poker in the Front, Liquor in the Rear

Fart Yeah Fest!!
Snakes On the Brain: My Life as a Booty Dancer
Sucks in the City: The top 3 Insane LA dates
My Little Ponies and Me
Diarrhea of a Madman/ KXLU Kickball!

Stinko De Mayo: My First (and last)ColonicSTRIP CLUB LUNCH!Pizza and Mary Jane

Clown Sex and Craig's List!

Cuddle Parties!

My Interests

Neckface

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet all you little kitties out there looking for exposure for whatever oddity, deformity, or freakshow you're cooking up on that rusty spoon we call Los Angeles. I write a column called Diarrhea of a Madman for LA Alternative (the last bastion of REAL independent thought in our fair city). Or if you're totally bored check out my blog at Underbelly LA . Basically, I'm the guy who talks to the fuckups, famous assholes, and fabulous specimens of humanity that you've always wondered about.

I go to the bad parts of town, lavish in excess, and do things that you'd probably not like to tell your mom.

Or Priest.

I'm here to do the crazy shit you think up when you're drunk. Write me and tell me your idea and if it's not stupid, I'll do it. Hell, if it is stupid, I'll probably do it too.

Send me your press releases, your party invitations, your mixtapes, or invite me to chaparone on your first date with a stranger, invite me to your prom/parents house/wedding, or just send me some crazy shit you've heard about, but you're not sure it's legal. I'm on the motherfucker.

Music:

mr. oizo

Movies:

ghostbusters

My Blog

Erection coverage

Friends and Freudians, Ah, the week after an election.  The smell of democracy is in the air and it smells like cow manure on the garden outside my window.  There's been a change in regime i...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 10:01:00 PST

Making Your Day Job Less Suck

Friends and felchers, This is your fucker, Dan F. Gillis trois reporting live and direct from my pleasure dome in beautiful Culver City.  Today I come at you with an article that is very dear to...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Fri, 03 Nov 2006 10:21:00 PST

Tijuana is the town for love

Hey friends of Dan, You may have heard the rumor that I went south, into the deepest south that was ever south last week for an adventure of a weektime.  Yes, kids, I went to Tijuana. But not fo...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 09:56:00 PST

Tie me up, Tie me down

Hey there frankenfurers! How's work?  Oh me?  Well, Im not at work, I just have been hanging out all morning, taking naps and the like.  I also ate a great breakfast, which was much unl...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 12:48:00 PST

Barfing on your friends

Young bucks and sweet fucks,It appears as though I am posting on a new day, yes/no?  You see, I am now going to be posting twice as much as I did in the past.  What does that mean to you, th...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 10:41:00 PST

Nuts, et al.

Dear Flapjacks, I know there is a fear that brews in your heart and nostrils about things you don't understand.  I know you're scared of him and his nuts. Yes, I met Mr. Peanut at the LA county f...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 01:31:00 PST

Poking/Asians

Bigger than a booty quake, it's my new article:Poker in the Front, Liquor in the RearI think you know damn well, what it's about.I do make one reference to Ross (the clothing emporium not the Friend)O...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Sat, 09 Sep 2006 04:00:00 PST

Snakes In a Plane/ my pants

Dearest Froggers and Freaknasties,What's that sound in the distance? Is it a Bird? Is it a plane? Is it a missle flying into the Lebanese airport? No, silly billies, it's my new article Snakes On the ...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Fri, 14 Jul 2006 01:52:00 PST

Haters CAN be daters!

Yes, my fine farting felines, it is true.Another Dan Gillis, III article has descended from the heavens to your very own slice of internet.All ribbed for your pleasure.This week, I tackled the dating ...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 10:17:00 PST

Bobcat Goldthwait, April O'Neil, Horsies

Hey kids, Check out www.underbellyla.blogspot.com for my blogasaurus about horsies and hot doggery at Holly Park Track.  If you want to know some behind the scenes hot shit, comment me up, and I'...
Posted by Dan Fucking Gillis, III on Sun, 18 Jun 2006 01:47:00 PST