J.R. Ewing profile picture

J.R. Ewing

The world is littered with the bodies of people that tried to stick it to ol' J.R.

About Me

First and foremost I'm a full blooded Ewing not some half-breed like my illegitimate brother Ray, but I will give it to Ray he sure can feed those cows and he is able to tell one horses ass from another so hes not complete useless, second I'm a Texan and I'll tell you what you don't want to mess with Texas. I'm currently in a battle for control of Ewing Oil with my brother Bobby who's nothing more than a playboy and doesn't know the difference between an oil drill and his penis, but don't you all worry old JR will win the battle in the end.

Here are some words of advise.

"A conscience is like a boat or a car. If you feel you need one, rent it"

"When your holding a double barrel shotgun use both barrels."

"Never interfere with a man who's correcting his wife!"

"Never tell the truth when a good lie'll do!"

Oh Yeah Im Also Bringing Sexy Back

My Interests

Anything to do with Oil

I'd like to meet:

Anyone except for my drunk of a wife Sue Ellen

Heroes:

Jock Ewing

My Blog

Dusty Fucking Farlow

Well Sue Ellen was on the verge of totally collapse, and almost signed the custody papers while in the sanitarium but was suddenly released  due her "vast improvement" and I believe a cash bribe ...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 06:01:00 PST

J.R. Ewing Born again Christian?

  My fellow Texans.....my fellow Christan's J.R Ewing has seen the evil of his ways and has seen the light and its name is Jesus H. Christ.  No more multiple sex partners...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Mon, 14 May 2007 10:11:00 PST

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead!!

Ok Sue Ellen is not dead, but I final have the family support to send her back to the sanitarium again.  The last straw being at the Oil Barons Ball when Sue Ellen public embarrassed momma. Last ...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Sun, 01 Apr 2007 11:04:00 PST

The Oil Barons Ball

  Hell what a night. I remember only so much so bear with me as I try to put last night together. Lets see the night started off promising with yours truly the front runner in winning t...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 10:35:00 PST

My Brother Gary

   Oh dear god my good for nothing brother Gary, father to my niece Lucy is coming to visit Southfork, this is almost as bad as when Sue Ellen's sister Kristen Sheper shot me ...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Thu, 11 Jan 2007 04:35:00 PST

Live From....

So right now old JR is coming to you live right here in my wife's sister (Kristen Sheper) bed...Ill tell you what even tho those two are sisters they are like night and day in bed..Sue Ellen when...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Tue, 21 Nov 2006 04:46:00 PST

This Is a Public Service Announcement

Live and learn this is a public service announcement to all you young folks out there sowing you wild oats, if your going to sleep around with various sectaries, business associates, widows, politicia...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 09:05:00 PST

Down But not Out

Well the day started off on a good note when I saw that Barnes women that my brother Bobby is married to naked...her brother Cliff Barnes maybe a bulls ass but she is just a piece of ass but that sti...
Posted by J.R. Ewing on Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:10:00 PST