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Stranger

I locked you in this body. I meant it as a kind of trial. You can use it for a weapon or to make som

About Me

I am a 300 lb bundle of joy, with a package to match. If you are looking for a good time in a small room that i am unable to escape due to my immense girth and poor muscle tone, then you've come to the right place. I enjoy television, pie, children, ice cream, Donald Sutherland and candle lit sponge baths.
In general I feel utterly alienated by my society and my world. I am intensely sarcastic while still desperately optimistic. Possibly manic depressive. I take shelter in absurdity, as i've little else these days.
Pragmatic rationalist. Spiritual atheist. Amateur buddhist monk. Professional pessimist. I'm an electrical engineer in a leather jacket and a pile of contradictions.
“War will disappear only when men shall take no part whatever in violence and shall be ready to suffer every persecution that their abstention will bring them. It is the only way to abolish war.” - Anatole France
“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.” - Zappa
“I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.” - Hunter S. Thompson
“A pain stabbed my heart as it did every time I saw a girl I loved who was going the opposite direction in this too-big world” - Kerouac
“A man's real possession is his memory. In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor.”
“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” - Camus
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” - Camus
“He who despairs of the human condition is a coward, but he who has hope for it is a fool” - Camus
“Don't wait for the last judgment - it takes place every day.” - Camus
I have a Cafe Press store - You_Are_a_Tool
I am worth $3,319,824 on HumanForSale.com
August 1999 was the time at which former employee Lisa Agbalaya-Ross alleged James Brown made claims that he had "powerful testicles given to him by the government." How such a thing is possible is not explained.
"He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to dust," some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, 'I'll be waiting for you in heaven... with a gun.'"
Sites I keep track of:
Gizmodo - Gadget blog
Primidi - The Future
Apple Trailers - A graphical representation of the decay of the film industry
Deviant Art - 10,000 douche bags and 50 geniuses
Strange Horizons - Short stories
Daily Rotten - Bad news for bad people
Newegg - Toys
Perry Bible Fellowship - The gospel
Dino Comics - TALKING DINOSAURS
Killer Robots from Space - Like you need to be told more
Hyper Death Babies - Another reason not to breed
Beer Before Liquor - Pace yourself
Pokey the Penguin - High production quality
Whispered Apologies - Say you're sorry
The Camel Toe Report - Glorious
Fat Chicks in Party Hats - The name says it all
TMGIFA - This is love
Combine Demolition Derby!!! - I was there last year. I'll be back next year.
This is how I dance:

My Interests

Women. Reading. Electromagnetism. Mathematics. Philosophy. Karaoke bars. Google image search. Jojos. Beards. Cone Heads.
I'd like to learn Japanese, Cantonese and French but first I have to learn to speak financial independence.
I have a FLICKR now. It's fairly awesome.
"Few men who have liberated themselves from the fear of God and the fear of death are yet able to liberate themselves from the fear of man." - Lin Yutang
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats." - H. L. Mencken
"Every luxury must be paid for, and everything is a luxury, starting with the world." - Cesare Pavese
"If God is great and God is good, why can't he change the hearts of men?" - Tom Waits
"The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people." - Jack Handy
"The absurd is born of the confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world." - Camus

I'd like to meet:

Anyone saying things to me like "ne" instead of "any" or "b4" or any other obnoxious 14 year-old AOL master-race propaganda will be summarily shot. This also goes for thugs and any other people who are much too interesting to speak a language more than four hours old.
Callipygian. Educated. Not Homely.
AIM - SterileMoleman
MSN - [email protected]

Music:

the highlights of my current playlist:
The Animals
Beck
Belle & Sebastian
David Bowie
Defiance, Ohio
Duran Duran
Elton John
Flaming Lips
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Interpol
Johnny Cash
Kate Bush
Kinks
Leonard Cohen
Mr Bungle
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Nina Simone
Oingo Boingo
Paul Simon
Pink Floyd
Psychedelic Furs
Pulp
Radiohead
Rod Stewart
Scissor Sisters
Shins
T.Rex
Tom Waits
---------------------------
For you're dancing where the dogs decay, defecating ecstasy
You're just an ally of the leecher
Locator for the Virgin King
but I love you in your fuck-me pumps
And your nimble dress that trails
Oh, dress yourself, my urchin one
for I hear them on the rails
Because of all we've seen
because of all we've said
We are the dead

Movies:

Unforgiven Romeo is Bleeding Memento Titus Hedwig and the Angry Inch Blues Brothers The Fifth Element Zardoz The Big Lebowski The Last UnicornObviously more.------------------------------- Cop: "What happened here?" Man: "There was a fire... I dunno. I came by and was... checkin' out the fire." Cop: "That lady, Mona, said that you two were in the building when the fire started." Man: "Yeah. She's a liar 'cause I don't know her, so whatever she says is a lie, so..." Cop: "So you weren't in the building with her?" Man: "No, not I." Man: "Alright. She started it... Because she was like, 'I hate my job, I'm gonna burn this mother down!!' And I said, 'You better not. You better not.'" Cop: "She said it was an electrical fire." Man: "It was, a total electrical fire.... The switches had sparks coming out, and the sockets.... It was like the Fourth of July, man." Cop: "Why aren't you wearing your pants?" Man: "I tripped... then I had to take them off to run faster out of the flames.... I think I inhaled some smoke. Will you excuse me for a second? I'll be right back." Cop into radio: "We've got a sprinter. Five foot five. No pants. Unkempt.... Portly." -------------------------------Evil Genius: When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding.Goon: Understanding of what, master?Evil Genius: Digital watches. And soon I will have understanding of videocassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! God isn't interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time: forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!Goon: Slugs.Evil Genius: Slugs! He created slugs! They can't hear, they can't speak, they can't operate machinery. If I were creating the world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would've started with lasers, eight o'clock, day one.

Television:

I try not to watch television, but i don't try very hard. This section is fucked up and the formatting is broken.
So I'd like to take this space to write in plain text that myspace is a complete fucktarded shil for fox now, and i hope they burn in the deepest hell they can manage. If anyone knows of a reasonable alternative i'm entirely open to burning this site down. The /p at the end of this is some sort of code typo on their end. Asses.

Books:

Camus Heinlein Aasimov Herbert Palahniuk Phillip K. DickFrankenstein Sandman Herzog Einstein's Universe A Brief History of Timedozens of random novels the works of various philosophersPhilosophy, Math and Engineering text books The newspaper when i'm feeling masochistic [always]."... Its power that carries me bores me, nevertheless, and on occasion its shouts weary me. But its misfortune is mine, and we are of the same blood. A cripple, likewise, and accomplice and noisy, have I not shouted among the stones? Consequently, I strive to forget, I walk in our cities of iron and fire, I smile bravely at the night, I hail the storms, I shall be faithful. I have forgotten in truth: active and deaf, henceforth. But perhaps someday, when we are ready to die of exhaustion and ignorance, I shall be able to disown our garish tombs and go and stretch out in the valley, under the same light and learn for the last time what I know." - The Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus

Heroes:



"Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend."
"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."

My Blog

fuck

you know, i was going to just do a bulletin on a couple of these.... but they're just too god damn good.i love you cheetoh a great song for a great couple. a lovely song called "can ...
Posted by Stranger on Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:37:00 PST

fuck

So a couple of things today merit documentation.1. it is quite possible that this is the single most fucked up crime i have ever come across. i've kept up a pretty impressive list, too. there's really...
Posted by Stranger on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:31:00 PST

I look like the bad boy from nsync?

so this was hilarious and entirely worth the 5 minutes. much more amusing for men. gary oldman is flattering. half are just people wearing glasses....
Posted by Stranger on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 01:48:00 PST

i'll miss seattle

i was in the city today after an overnight drunk. on the way back i was waiting at a bus stop and this woman waiting next to me was feeding pidgeons. she did this with such verve that it merits commen...
Posted by Stranger on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 07:43:00 PST

Flotzum

i love maddox for saying thing so that i don't have to:http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cant also, i have a flickr at:http://www.flickr.com/photos/sterile_moleman/while i'm at it, e...
Posted by Stranger on Thu, 10 May 2007 03:36:00 PST

fucking GORILLA tackle

nobody reads my blog, but this is the best survey i've ever seen. i stole it from nicole. just saving it. for the historians.1. Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do fi...
Posted by Stranger on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:45:00 PST

Poison - not the rocking kind

So i ate at red robin by the mall on friday. Saturday night around 1230AM i had the distinct pleasure of vomitting for about 16 with a few naps in between. I'll omit the details, suffice to say that i...
Posted by Stranger on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:22:00 PST

prince > football

So for those of you who don't like football and/or do not own a television, and i get to put an 'and' there myself, youtube is a golden god and saved me from missing probably the coolest thing that fo...
Posted by Stranger on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 10:29:00 PST

EXTREME

ok, i had to just throw up this link. this is the single most extreme thing ever. somehow this guy thinks that i'd be cool to, in the middle of a fight, attempt to strangle his enemy with his own inte...
Posted by Stranger on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 11:08:00 PST

fuck clippy

"tell me it's impossible to hide you""i want to fucking open a fucking file on your face, baby""jesus, jesus christ... that's so good."...
Posted by Stranger on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 09:36:00 PST