A. Ling - ProfilesArchive

About Me

some things about ME, obviously: Every time I see a feather, I think to myself, "Hmm, a bird feather" and then I have to remind myself that there aren't any other kinds than "Bird Feathers" Mexican men stare at me, I'm serious, you show me a Mexican, and I'll show you a man who is probably already staring at me. I cannot sleep without a fan blowing, even if it's dead winter The phrase "Ooo La La" makes me shudder I am Irish-Italian, which explains my fiery temper and drinking problem I will ride any amusement park ride except a ferris wheel I can do dead-on impressions of Atari game noises I will always laugh at these words: Scabies, Goiter, Scurvy, Croak, Bosom, Sasquatch, Schmorgesbord, Tabernacle, and Gout I like to make up situations and act them out in public restroom mirrors I have a black laundry basket, it makes my delicates that much more tough I have been known to end a conversation with: "everything I just said to you was a lie" just because I thought it sounded funny I have had poetry published, but will NEVER tell you the name of the book I can play "Smoke on the Water" on ANYTHING, even things that aren't instruments, seriously One of the most clever things I've ever said contained the phrase: "Hope you like the Oakridge Boys" I laugh at every joke I make, often to silent onlookers I hate when people do shitty impressions of English, Irish, or Indian accents I will only microwave food in multiples of 15 seconds. I have a gun and, surprizingly, I'm not in prison I'm really, really grateful for my friends who forgive me for who I used to be and don't hold it against me I wink at yellow traffic lights for reasons I'd have to explain in person I LOVE Chickens, they are such a comical creature. And cartoon depictions of chickens, forget about it. And cartoon depictions of chickens with teeth, OH...MY...GOD! I sing along to Japanese songs that I CLEARLY don't know the words to. I make the BEST mashed potatoes EVER, I also make really good pasta I am fiercely loyal I hate when girls kiss eachother for attention I only add people who know me, or people who strike my fancy I think sun-dried tomatoes are disgusting I love this little man more than anything
Spring Hates: intolerance, people who drive shirtless, feet, people who drive for miles with their blinkers on, the cruelty of children and their adult influences, racial inequality, sexual inequality, gay inequality, people who use their minority as an excuse, southern baptists, Pat Robertson, the word "engorged", MadTV (it's probably the least funny show in existance)

Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor

My Interests

Psychology, Becoming a Doctor of Psychology, Family, Friends, Being A Mother, My Beautiful Son, My Amazing Husband, Sleeping, Playing Video Games, Writing, Art (Garfunkel, not aesthetic works of beauty), Being Irish, Love, Movies, Music, Secretly watching strangers, Pilates, Curry, Joking on EVERYONE, Working, Photography, Painting, Engraving Glass, Generally being a RIOT, Lazy days, the smell of pavement after a summer rain, Kissing Statues, New lovers, Old flames, Cookie Dough Teeth, NPR, Clever remarks/Witty retorts, Reese's cups, Wistful Bullshit, and Chucks...by the way, I was kidding about that Garfunkle thing

I'd like to meet:

I want to meet someone who can teach me the Harlem Shake UPDATE: I met someone who tried to teach me the Harlem Shake, but my jerky movements and drunken lack of rhythm made for a hilarious cocktail of embarrassment.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Music:

music is divine, it makes me want to curl up inside of it and be...just be one tiny piece of how it makes me feel, I want to eat it and have it be a part of me, forever...forever mine...

Regina Spektor Camera Obscura Mika Modest Mouse Rasputina Aqualung Travis OKGO Solas Jump Little Children Sean Lennon Belle and Sebastion PJ Harvey White Stripes Postal Service Interpol Death Cab for Cutie Weezer They Might Be Giants Squirrel Nut Zippers Pixies Frank Black and the Catholics Rooney Rufus Wainright Beck The Cure Radiohead Bjork Portishead Smashing pumpkins Morphine The Beatles IRISH DRINKING SONGS!!! Billy Idol The Krays The Buzzcocks DropKick Murphys Misfits Iggy Pop The Clash Ramones Blondie T Rex Prince Sweet (although, that guy over-does-it just a hair sometimes) New York Dolls Stooges Donovan David Bowie Jack Johnson Ben Harper Bob Marley Family Tree Beastie Boys OutKast Red Hot Chili Peppers Patsy Cline Roy Orbison Johnny Cash The Judds( music I grew up on, otherwise, I hate country Al Green Frank Sinatra Ella Fitzgerald Duke Ellington Louis Armstrong I have this weird obsession with cock rock,christmas music, cartoon theme songs, and Japanese pop Anything on Crosseyed Catfish Label

Movies:

Dream with the Fishes Monument Ave. The Village Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail Life of Brian Meaning of life Priscilla,Queen of the Desert To Wong Fu, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar Suburbia(the good one, with Flea) House on Haunted Hill Amelie Chocolat Latter Days(the most painfully beautiful love story EVER) Waking Ned Devine The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain The Labyrinth The Notebook Eternal Sunshine Boondock Saints Green Mile Pay It Forward Shaun of the Dead The Life Aquatic Big Labowski ... more later

Television:

Mr. Show with Bob and David, Deadwood, Big Love, John from Cincinnati, Californication, The Joy Of Painting with Bob Ross (it still comes on the Create channel), Meerkat Manor, Animal Cops, Any Documentary that catches my eye, Family Guy, The Simpson's...I could go on and on

Books:

Mommies Who Drink The Celestine Prophecy Tenth insight Tao of Pooh Victorian Grimoire Hairstyles of the damned Naked Barrel Fever Exquisite Corpse I Hate this Place; A Pessimists Guide to Life Where the Sidewalk Ends The Giving Tree A Light in the Attic Me Talk Pretty One Day Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim Da Vinci Code How to Be a Complete Bastard Encyclopedia of the Supernatural A Child Called It The Lost Child A Man Named Dave The Happiest Baby on the Block

Heroes:

My Mom, the women in my family, the women and men I surround myself with daily, and the people who put up with my nonsense

My Blog

Profoundly Sad

I'm "writing" this to try to ease my mind. I wish I could erase the part of my memory that holds this story and has made me remember it for fifteen years. It haunts me and it hit me a...
Posted by A. Ling on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:17:00 PST

Celebrity-obsessed American culture (an open rant)

I'll start by saying that I feel like a total asshole. For years I have been bragging about having Ron Jeremy's phone number. I have never called him, but just bei...
Posted by A. Ling on Mon, 14 May 2007 12:04:00 PST

Daily Bullshit (part 2)

I am so tired of religious zealots and conservatives (is there a difference?) passing off TOTAL IGNORANCE as "family values". It's ironic that they are waging this bullshit war on terrorist...
Posted by A. Ling on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 10:28:00 PST

daily bullshit

I hate when people's argument about gays is that they "choose" to be gay. Not only is that ignorant, it's dismissive. Just chalking it off to all gay folks being social daredevils, who jus...
Posted by A. Ling on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 11:38:00 PST

Glory days..

fadadum bada dum bow bye GLORY DAYS, suppa dadadada YOUNG GIRL'S EYE, GLORY DAYS, GLORY DAAAAAAAAYS or at least that's how I sing it.
Posted by A. Ling on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 04:32:00 PST

For all of my mommy friends

What habits have you picked up since you've become a mother? a few of mine:1. I sway when I stand even when I'm not holding him2. I say things like "Mama's gotta poop" when I'm not talking...
Posted by A. Ling on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 11:41:00 PST

as of 9:01am on september 7th...

I am a mommy to the most beautiful child EVER!!!
Posted by A. Ling on Tue, 12 Sep 2006 02:32:00 PST

Today's goal...

was to tape everything, that was on my desk, to itself so it couldn't move. After taping my stapler and my hand (among other things) shut, I realized that maybe since I'm a glorified receptionis...
Posted by A. Ling on Mon, 07 Nov 2005 02:26:00 PST

nothing makes me want to shoot my own face off...

...like a trip to DMV. Every time I leave there I want to blow that fucking place sky high.
Posted by A. Ling on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST