amy jean profile picture

amy jean

About Me

I worked until about 2:45am. And then I had to decide if I wanted to spend the night with Michael, editing in his office, and Dwight, watching Michael editing in his office, or drive home and probably fall asleep at the wheel and die in a fiery car wreck. I passed out on my keyboard trying to decide.

My Interests

I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don't have some cake soon I might die.

I'd like to meet:

The Schrutes consider children very valuable. In the olden days, the women would bear many children. So we would have enough laborers to work the fields. And if it was an especially cold winter, and there weren't enough grains for vegetables. They would get the weakest of the brood.... No, they didn't eat the children... It never came to that.

Music:

A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night, and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain and the woman says, "Hey, it was only $5, what did you expect... lobster?"

Movies:

When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins, and they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Television:

Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back, after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... suddenly she's not your ho no mo'.

Books:

Alright Kevin, you are accused of making sexually suggestive remarks to Angela, that made her feel uncomfortable. Solution: Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin, that will make him uncomfortable.

Heroes:

Children cannot lie, they are innocent and they speak the truth. Out of the mouth of babes, Micheal Scott is freakin' cool.