Confuzed With A Touch Of Being Lost

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Wolf Tears and Silent Smiles A Cool Poetry BookCheck out my group and leave some comments. myspaceguruThis IS How I Feel A lot Of The Time LOLOk Here it is what you probably want to know about me, and what you need to know about me. The biggest thing for me right now is I had just gone through a divorce and I am not looking for a deep relationship. I am not the typical type of guy that will do anything with just anyone I pretty much live my life in a shell. I have issues and any one that says they don’t is full of shit. I am trying to sort through all of my issues and weed all of the BS out of my life, which in fact there is a ton of it at the moment. I had a life changing experience 5 years ago that even changed who I was and who I am today as a person. A huge part of me is still trying to find who I am. Yes at times I am confused. I have a ton of ups and downs right now in my life. Why am I writing all this for the whole world to see? Well I am doing it because I do want to meet new people and have new friends; I want an entire new life. I want to stop living like a walking dead person. People that want to be a part of this need to accept me for who I am and the issue’s that come along with me. If you really want to know what those issues are, just write me and ask, I will answer them honestly. I hear a lot and have heard about the Brian I was 5 years ago and how people wish I was still him, well I am not, I am me, I don’t even fully know who that person was, But slowly figuring it out If you want to know how and why this all took place, once again just ask, I will tell you, I have learned here lately to be open with people. Well this change had hurt someone really bad in the process and I feel bad for her, I am moving on because I have to, our lives as the new me just don’t fit any more, haven’t for 5 years. The one who was hurt the most out of all this is the one that wants the other Brian back. It’s sad because she knows who he was and why she loved him. For me on the other hand it is not that complicated if I meet someone new they know me for who I am and life goes on. I am just who I am. You need to accept it or I don’t need you in my life, just being straight to the point. Like it or just keep on going. Things I enjoy when I am able to get out of my shell: I love the outdoors, fishing, parks, going for nature hikes, I used to like hunting but can’t find it in my heart to shoot the little critters any more, I still love to go out shooting though. I love crotch rockets and cars that go fast. I had a 2004 katana but things in life went bad and I had to sell my baby, getting a CBR 900 RR is one of my future goals. I miss riding a whole lot. I do drink, but it is kept to a bare minimum. It is to a point one jack and coke and two Bud Ice’s make me float. This is not a bad thing though in my opinion. I smoke way too much, two packs a day and the smoke of my choice is Camel Turkish Jades. My other bad habit is I am a coffee addict, I drink about 6-7 pots a day, I go through 5 pounds of coffee and sugar in about a week. I love playing video games and spend way to much time on the pc. Most of my pc time is productive time tough. I am on SSI and spend my days and nights just adding to my website. If you care to visit my site the links are all over my page, every image you see will take you there. All the ones that say Bnjvariety.com are graphics I have done, another one of my lifeless hobbies. I am open to new things I have never done as well. I guess at this point anything to get me out of the house sounds fun LOL, just as long a it’s not wrong. If there is anything I have not covered write me a line and I will fill you in lol.