Drunk & Disorderly profile picture

Drunk & Disorderly

A SIP OF DON JULIO'S LIKE AN OPEN MOUTH KISS W/ GOD

About Me

Layout made by JewcyWhat do you want to know? I'm a good guy with a bad streak. I feel like crap in the mornings, go to work, come home to play with my baby, annoy my wife, play video games, write stories, hang out with friends, drink as much beer and liquor as I physically can when I party, prank call people, talk smack to anyone in earshot, start fights & act like I don't know why people are mad, laugh about it later, start an intricate lie & let people believe it for years because I think it's funny, hang out with your mom, shoot pool, tell stories that people have heard a million times about the good old days , make a lot of noise, break people's stuff & then feel bad about it, choke Mike until he's unconscious & then feel bad about it, bowl puppies down hallways & not feel bad about it, teabag people, ask God for forgiveness, repeat the bad behavior, ask for forgiveness again, smoke, quit, smoke, quit, smoke, quit, smoke, quit, smoke, quit??? I'm a pretty regular guy.

My Interests

writing, reading, eating, sleeping, fucking, shooting people, being shot at, fighting people twice my size, fighting people half my size, fist-fighting toddlers, kicking elderly people in the balls, surfing tsunamis, pulling sleeping cats' tails, pummeling puppies, showing up naked and drunk to church, midgets, monkeys, donkey punching, disco dancing, crazy commercials, roundhousing your mom when she pisses me off, having make-up sex with your mom afterwards, a good chili rainbow, giving out hot dickings, not dying, and being worshipped by the devil. I also enjoy filling people's mouths with candy, sewing their lips shut, and bashing their heads with a bat like a pinata. I'm also fond of beating my ballbag with a mallet until I pee blood.

I'd like to meet:

you in a dark alley with a can of mace and a sock full of quarters. I'd also like to meet your mom again so she can give me back my boxers. An Unholy Alliance ...

Music:


Evil, Satanic, and Horror picturesPantera, White Zombie, Tool, Danzig, Machine Head, Fear Factory, Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, The Misfits, Slayer, Nine Inch Nails (sort of), Metallica (before they sucked), Alice in Chains, End of the Rope, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Depeche Mode, Cypress Hill, Slick Rick, Mos Def, Canibus, ICP, Outkast, Wu-Tang Clan, Channel Live, Tupac, Notorious B.I.G., NAS, Eazy E, Beastie Boys, Paul Oakenfold, Sasha & Digweed, and N-Sync!...

Movies:

A Nightmare on Elm Street, Battle Royale, Ichi the Killer, Oldboy, Wolf Creek, Dog Soldiers, Natural Born Killers, In The Mouth Of Madness, The Machinist, Audition, Man Bites Dog, Cemetery Man, At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul, A Clockwork Orange, Heathers, The Legend of the Overfiend, The Usual Suspects, The Godfather, Scarface, Reservoir Dogs, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Desperado, Kill Bill, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Homegrown, Deuce Bigelow, Office Space, American Pie, Van Wilder

Television:

The Sopranos, Family Guy, American Dad, Wonder Showzen, Masters of Horror, Weeds, Medium, Ghost Whisperer, American Gothic, Tales From The Crypt, Freddy's Nightmares, Mr. Show, Upright Citizens Brigade, Sledge Hammer, Seinfeld, Cheers, Chappelle's Show, One Life to Live (so what?)...

Books:

The Gay Kama Sutra *I try to read a little each day as if it was The Bible

Heroes:

my baby, my wife (for having the strength to live with me), Billy Lima, Clive Barker, Spencer Truman, Sheriff Buck, Raoul Duke, Freddy Krueger, and Jim

My Blog

Where Have I Been???

I was just writing a letter to my sister, and I decided to take this paragraph from it and put it in a bulletin. If anyone has wondered where I disappeared to lately, this pretty much sums it up: &nbs...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:52:00 PST

OOPS...

Well, I'm back from Texas, and it was a blast. I'll fill people in and add some pics when I have more time, but I just wanted to share a story that I thought was kinda funny. Anyone who knows me would...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 10:15:00 PST

I actually had to delete a comment

Sorry Mockel, but that comment you put on my page was getting too many complaints. Congratulations on finding the most offensive picture on MySpace, though. I'm concerned about where you would have fo...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 01:34:00 PST

I Love HBO On Demand

because I was able to watch the Wright vs Taylor fight again. Anyone who knows me has probably had an ass-full of my opinion about this fight, but now that I was able to see it again I realized...that...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 06:16:00 PST

Sixteen Wishes

If I had sixteen wishes, I wonder what they'd be. I guess the first would have to be ability to see the flaws that others dread about my personality. I'd use my second wish to learn to be a better me....
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Sun, 06 Aug 2006 12:16:00 PST

Another Odd One

First off, this wasn't a dream. It's a true story. With that out of the way...   I was walking down the long, white corridor of a hospital. The track lights' gleam off of the sterile wa...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 05:21:00 PST

Phantasmagoria

I figured I'd start with something simple. I wrote this poem in high school, and it just stuck with me. I think I just like the Suessian rhythm and the eerie silliness of it. Also, I enjoyed the ...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Wed, 05 Jul 2006 02:21:00 PST

Do me a favor, if you have the time...

Soon, I will start posting samples of my writing in my blogs with the intent of having them critiqued. If you are at all interested in getting a deeper understanding of the way my mind works or w...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Wed, 05 Jul 2006 01:58:00 PST

Another Excursion Into My Brain

I had this dream before I took on the Black Jesus persona, so any similarities in appearance are purely coincidental. This dream speaks volumes about the state of my spiritual being. In my dream,...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 06:06:00 PST

Does this make me a psycho?

This seemed a little weird to me, but I figured I'd get a second opinion, and it's cheaper to post it in a blog than to pay a shrink. Here it goes... Last night I had this dream that Geff, Bethanee, S...
Posted by Drunk & Disorderly on Sat, 10 Jun 2006 01:05:00 PST