dan profile picture

dan

About Me

Basically... I'm the man. Oh and I play guitar. Oh and I'm a porn star.For body type, I am obscenely, disgustingly obese. Like, over 800 pounds. I literally cannot stand the stench of the sweat oozing down my fat. It is utterly and completely disgusting. I have not stood up in 5 years and usually cry myself to sleep. So uh... if any ladies are into that kinda thing... hit me up.

My Interests

Sex, drugs, and rock and roll... except without the drugs. and i like other stuff too. so... alot of stuff. but also sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

I'd like to meet:

Whores, prostitutes, and bluegrass floutists

Music:

Only polka. I refuse to listen to anything else. Oh yea. I also like every other kind of music. And i hate polka.

Movies:

I watch Fantasia at least four times a day. Oh and I base all my values on those from legally blonde and Never been Kissed. Those are the only movies i have ever seen.

Television:

Straight up watching the cooking channel all the time. I also really enjoy watching Martha Stewart, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and Mr. Rogers. Oh yea, and if actually do like most reality shows, please refrain from talking to me.

Books:

The Life story of Kermit the Frog by Duzell Frankenlock. I highly recommend it.

Heroes:

You are my hero, person reading my myspace profile. Nothing can ever change that.

My Blog

stuff

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Posted by dan on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST