~~ACACIA~~ - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm one of those people that isn't always well liked because I usually make it a point to tell things like they are...even if it hurts feelings at times. I don't see what sugarcoating anything is going to do except build false hope. I won't fill your head with daisies and rainbows, but I can and will be gentle if the mood suits me, and/or if I like you enough. The Problem is..being nice isn't all it's cracked up to be.. and people? I don't like most people but the ones that I do, I will do anything for.. unless you fuck me over.. then I'll tear you into tiny litte pieces. =0) I'm not a popular girl and I don't give a rats ass if you like me or not. I'm a happily married lesbian... and even my wife doesn't know what to do with me sometimes..but she's my best friend and she keeps me sane. I'm a mom, and I like to think a good one. My son is the light of my life. My wife and I also have guardianship of an awesome girl named Lil' Bit: aka Emily. I'm bipolar and have awful social anxiety issues.. which make my moods shift in the blink of an eye. So stand back when I start bubbling.. unless you want to lose your face. Thinking about it.. I guess there really is more to me than irritability and sarcasm.I don't really feel like talking about it here, but maybe one day I'll let you see my softer side..(showing teeth) if you live long enough./i

My Interests

I have a wide array of interests. Give me trash and I'll make treasure.. give me a seed and I'll grow a plant hahaha ..turn the music on and I'll sing . I'm a.. I don't follow any particular path ..I think you have to find peace within yourself.. Look to nature to find what you need.I can't stand people who judge me because I don't follow the "Christian Path" Get over yourselves already. (Stepping off of soapbox) Uhhh hemmm..I'm a complete dork and love Faeries, butterflies and other such girly shit. I enjoy gardening.. it reminds me of my Grandma. I am an animal fanatic..I love kitten kisses and puppy breath. I raise my glass to organizations that help abused animals, and hope that someday I will be in the position to do some good as well. I love having a blank sheet of paper and a awesome pen. My favorite things are books. I love to read. I'm really interested in photography, especially black and white... and would like to start getting into that. I'm a crafty/artsy chic... I feel best when I'm making something with my own hands...and my interests there vary far and wide.

I'd like to meet:

I don't know.. I made this space for ME.. I'm not one to get on my knees and beg for friends.

Music:

I like music that really says something to me... (even if it only makes sense in my head).I really dig Indie/folk/lesbian/angst chic music that's powerful.I love 80's music and 70's rock and roll. I love driving while listening to metal and screaming my lungs out.. that really turns me on... RAHHHHHHHHHH...I'm not really TOO picky.. but I'll change the station in your car if I hate the tunes that are on it. (Wow.. people really hate that.*WEG*) You can tell alot about how I'm feeling by the music you hear around me.

Movies:

I love horror movies, even though I think most of the actual "horror" in them isn't really so scary anymore. I really dig psychological horror.. the human brain IS terrifying. Trust me I know. HEH HEH HEH. I don't do most musicals. I love Disney movies I like the classics.. Princess Bride,Rocky Horror, Breakfast Club. Some twisted part of me absolutely LOVES Full Metal Jacket. Give me crazy.. I like crazy. Pulp fiction and Natural Born Killers are right up there, As is the first movie that ever scared the shit out of me .. I'm a good lesbo and love Lesbian movies.. Better Than Chocolate and If these walls could talk 2, Freeway 2 and Lost and Delirious being just a few of my favs.

Books:

Oh, where shall I begin? (pausing).... (still pausing).. Ok.. can't answer this one.. I read too many too fast. I like Nora Roberts/JD Robb (GASP! STRAIGHT ROMANCE NOVELS! GASP GASP!)I like her because she plays around with magick and mystery.

My Blog

Jumbled feelings....

Been doin some thinkin.My mother casually mentioned that she is in the last stages of COPD, and with the strokes she had, and the blood clots in her lungs... she could literally be dead anyday. I don'...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 03:48:00 PST

The Cracked Pot.. a bit of Chinese wisdom

The Cracked PotAn elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack inIt while the other pot was perfect and alw...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:35:00 PST

rambling ... blah blah.. 420 induced...

felt a little better today. yippy ki yay for moi. better meaning that i only had a few suicidal ideations and i only slept for 3 hours this evening.. after sleeping most of the day as well... no urges...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 12:09:00 PST

Paxil Withdrawal... enjoy the ride.. oh yeah and some weird shit from my brain to your eyes...

Withdrawal SymptomsPaxil has long been associated with difficult withdrawal side effects, leaving patients virtually addicted to the drug. Recently, The British drug agency required Glaxo to remove a ...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 10:02:00 PST

Remember when it rained..

Remember When It Rained Wash away the thoughts inside That keep my mind away from you. No more love and no more pride And thoughts are all I have to do. Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained. Felt the gro...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 09:53:00 PST

And so the story goes....

And in the end of it all we have lost 3 of our babies. At least I am assuming 3 since one got out and never came home.. and she was sick when she got out. She nevers stays away when she gets out..so, ...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Wed, 27 Dec 2006 09:49:00 PST

another one gone away...

Fiona died. We've done everything we were supposed to. Nothing is enough. I'm broken inside. I don't even know what to do anymore. I just sit and stare at the other babies and wait for any small sign ...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 11:20:00 PST

BIP BLOG time written ???

I don't know what to do with myself right now... I'm spinning in circles trying to catch my own tail it seems.... round and round like an idiot... not getting anywhere... I can't handle the emotional ...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 09:57:00 PST

SMS 9/18/04.. Rape the child, the youth.. the mind

He took me as a child, 1. innocent and young, showed me things I shouldn't have known.. created shame and pain. I was his little princess, little girl so small, he brushed my long blonde locks cur...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 09:46:00 PST

posts from bipolar support group blog

posted on 2/6/2006 at 12:23 PM I feel like a tidal wave of darkness is crashing over my head. The undercurrent is pulling me down.. and around and I don't know which way to go for air. I ...
Posted by *PeEK pEeK* on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 09:39:00 PST