HODGES

Within the span of a single week several fairly important people in my life have told me (through independent and completely unrelated comments mind you) that I am a negative and pessimistic person. This struck me as rather odd. I’ve always considered myself an idealist coupled with a heavy dose of pragmatism (i.e. “This is what I want, but I acknowledge all this other crap that’s in my way that I will have to deal with in order to get there.” …though actually it’s more like, “This is what I want but this is all the crap I’m going to bitch and complain about – loudly and probably repeatedly I mean come on who are we kidding – to anyone who will listen before eventually dealing with it all.”). Don’t get me wrong, I see and acknowledge plenty of good and wonderful things in the world – undisturbed nature, charity success stories, people freed from oppression, souls saved by the healing power of Christ – but it’s just way more fun and interesting to talk about pop culture idiocies, dumbass government decisions, and the everyday retards I encounter on the street.
I make fun of politicians even as I pull the lever to vote for them… and even as I concede that my vote probably is meaningless. I have zero interest in any actor’s life and zero tolerance for their political views outside of the characters they play on screen, though I will scour the internet looking for free pictures from their recent sexy photo shoot. Most of my all time favorite movies have dark and sometimes depressing themes, but when deciding on what to rent from Blockbuster, I will choose “pointlessly funny” over “pointlessly deep” every time – but only after they’ve run out of “pointlessly loud and violent.” Since becoming a parent I have made myself physically sick envisioning (obsessing over really) every horrible thing that could ever happen to my daughter, yet I still find certain methods of death to be downright laughable – like old people dying during heat waves because they forgot to open the window. When I ultimately check out, I’d like to think I’ll be going to Heaven – Jesus is my Savior after all, even though most of His followers tend to bug the ever-loving crap out of me. I may try to save your soul, but it will probably be through a healthy dose of Devil’s Advocate than any Christlike preaching or evangelizing. I wouldn’t say I enjoy arguing, it’s just that I really hate being told that I’m wrong. I find few joys greater than converting somebody to my point of view… yet will find myself arguing against it when faced with the ignorant people who often share it.
So a lot of my stories begin with some variation of the phrase: "You know what sucks?" I don’t mean to offend. I don’t mean to bring you down or bum you out. I certainly don’t mean to challenge or mock your strongly held core beliefs. I assure you, my bitching, my complaining, my “yeah but”-ing is almost always done with a smile… a smug one for sure, but a smile nonetheless. I may be negative and pessimistic, but I really am laughing through it all. I hope you are too.
More pessimistic idealism at www.hey-guess-what.com .