I love a good weasel.
I also love a nice strong shot of whisky before school in the morning...it helps with the pain.
I know I have no friends but that's irrelevant.
Don't look into my eyes, ever.
I really don't like Joanne O'Toole.
She encourages me to do bad things in maths.
Click on my webcam and I'm all yours.
I smoke the odd spliff in the privacy of my own home, who doesn't?
I wish I could put the name of my partner here, but I don't have one, after a messy divorce I'm just a desperate loner with too much time on my hands.
NEIL!!
for those uneducated twats I am of course referring to the God that hosted Art Attack for almost 14 years.
Chris De Burgh's work has really inspired me.
I also like a bit of Abba, seeing as I was the short, fat, gradually balding one who played the piano.
Me in '72. I don't look that good anymore.
I would have to say Dirty Dancing was my all-time favourite film, along with about a million other sad fucks who for some reason just want to get into Patrick Swayze's trousers.
Saturday Kitchen with Anthony Worrell Thompson
Holby City is always good for a laugh
Anything with Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and his frilly sleeves in..mm...excuse me one second...
That wild mane of hair just does things to me...anyway
Of course Strictly Come Dancing always gets me in the mood, although I do get violent whenever I see Bruce Forsyth smile.
Why are you looking at me like that? Everybody does it...