Pittos

Me, According To Walsh Transcripts(of the Amy kind)
Jon. Foxie. Pittos. Mr Pitt. He goes by many other names. But one thing is for sure, he can always brighten your day. I have spent many an afternoon walking home with Pitt, and each time has been an amusing and informative experience. Pitt is an expert in all things comical and nonsencical. He will have a joke for every occasion, so he's always worth inviting to your party. Of course, Jon will be leaving Birmingham soon to head off to university. I hate him for doing this, as it means the silly conversations about goats, subway and other such delight will become less frequent. I hope, however, that Pitt enjoys his time out in the big wide world and can find a better job, one which he enjoys! Pitt is also very understanding of when i start a conversation with him on msn, then forget and walk away from the computer. Thank you, Mr Pitt.
And thank you Miss Walsh
Welcome to my MySpace space. AUGUST VERSION! This is where you can waste AT LEAST 5 minutes of your internet time. Just reading some of the garbage I have on here is guaranteed to get you screaming for the last few minutes of your life back. Unfortunately, I'm currently out of stock, so I will have to owe you minutes.
Anyway, me. The name's Jon Pitt and I'm approaching 20 years old with all the style and grace of a shot gazelle. I'm currently residing in Stoke-On-Rain... sorry, Trent, in Staffordshire, somewhere in England. Not sure where. North of my hometown of Birmingham. Probably. At Uni I am studying Italian, including pizza, lasagne, ravioli and tagliatelle. In terms of genuine studies - Broadcast Journalism.
Next year I have ONE radio show, possibly TWO. (Oh yeh, all go.) One is a random say-what-you-like music, chat and games show which I STRONGLY advice you to listen to when it comes to air, called "The Fox And Tiger Show". No prizes for guessing which one I am. The second is a scripted sketch show which is still in progress called "Time To Tune Off". We'll be at the Edinburgh Fringe in 5 years. Just you wait.Now then. The lies. Bogus Facts went down very well last time, so I've racked my brains to give you one absolutely genuine lie about each of my friends. So here goes.
STAFFSUNIPEEPLE
T. Hill - In summer, goes by the name of "Wild Jake Slingshot" in Texas.
S. Kendall - Has an intense phobia of those little hats with fans on.
A. Black - Underwater volleyball champion 2004.
D. Royle - Has 10 toes... but only 7 toenails.
M. Sibert - Lithuanian ninja.
L. Bailey - Designed the Serbian flag.
A. Edwards - Lives in a pineapple under the sea.
M. Brennan - Seventh son of a seventh son.
J. James - Smokes lobster.
K. Robinson - Got her name from an ancient scroll.
G. Lofthouse - Has laser eye vision, but only uses it to heat soup.
K. Poole - Collects 'Stop' signs.
L. Nguyen - Can play the oboe with her teeth.
T. Kingham - Sang with Scissor Sisters.
J. Green - Latvian samurai. Constantly battles with Ninja Sibert.
H. Rhodes - Can balance on an upright 5p piece.
S. Lewis - Wrote an opera based on Richard & Judy.
B. Antcliff - Took part in the Tour De France.
N. Brough - Doesn't cast a shadow.
D. Gale - Frequently argues with cash machines.
M. Lee - Has seven middle names.
A. Ashmore - Once went shrew-hunting in Inverness.
T. Love - Prints his own money.
D. McMurray - Tic Tac Toe champion 2005.
NONSTAFFSUNIPEEPLE
A. Bailey - Has no clocks in his house.
M. Goulding - Steals cookies from children.
T. Ridsdill - Entering his own F1 team next year.
B. Newbery - Expert hedge-trimmer.
A. Walsh - Once stroked an iguana so hard it had to be checked over by a highly-trained Iranian vet.
E. Walsh - Swam to Wolverhampton and back.
J. Clemson - Designed the VW Beetle.
V. Curry - Balloonophobic.
N. Corrigan - Never even seen an apple.
S. Bicknell - Came up with the idea of putting a hole in Polos.
D. Ross - Always looks on the bright side of windows.
C. Groves - Has no whites in his eyes.
C. Johnson - Invented the 27th letter of the alphabet.
I. Swingler - Can power a small sun-lamp.
S. Allen - Collects manhole covers.
D. Roberts - Has an ASBO for public indecency.
R. Alderman - Been in a James Bond film.
K. McLaughlin - Wore a wig since 2002.
J. Coleman - Accidentally created crazy paving.
J. Phillips - Spoiled the Harry Potter book for a primary school class.
K. McKee - Related to Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
K. Bailey - Genetically enhanced the tulip.
A. Gorzkowska - Lives with monks.
W. Benaras - Owns seven tuxedos.
A. Parvaiz - Has wooden teeth.
A. Jones - Sold on eBay to a family of midgets last year.
LOVELY THINGS AND PEOPLE
Birmingham City
Torquay
Torquay United
Formula One
Ross Noble
Steven Wright
Jimmy Carr
Composing
Our forthcoming European tour
Foxes
Malibu
Switzerland!
Poker
Dublin
Random bells
Flying. On planes, not in general.
Subway... the sandwich place
My new house at Uni
Weebl And Bob
The word "Osteopath"
The Fox And Tiger Show... my Uni Radio Show. For now.
USELESS THINGS AND PEOPLE
Ricky (Moron) Gervais.
Wizards
Cleaning my room
Those desserts that trick you into eating them when they're not as nice as they look
Most beers
The pointless complication of Law.
Single glazed windows
Kebabs
Listening to other peoples music on the train or bus
Secrets
Being too curious
Waiting for things
Queueing for things
Queueing for things I don't want
Answering the phone if I don't know who it is
Spots
Complicated junctions
Inaccurate clocks
Slanted pictures
Bad grammar
Arctic Monkeys
The fact I can't move to my new house til end of summer
Having no money
Having no money to buy pizza
2009. Just got a bad feeling about it.
This pen
When the sky is a stupid colour
Cheltenham
The unbelievable mess in my room
Going to the gym
Burying dead batteries
Pigeons
Hot dogs that crunch
HMV luring me with their sneaky advertising
Stoke's one-way system
Volvo drivers
Lee Evans
Greasy hair
These weak showers at Uni
Having no food
Waiting for food to defrost
Ugly houses
Being bad at every single sport
Coaches. ('cept the Swissy coach, of course)
Biting spoons
That is, not spoons that bite. Rather, biting into them.
Spelling mistakes
The Da Vinci Code
My sink
Having to shave
Tangled headphones
Sneezing in the rain
Swimming pools
Clubs
"Music" which goes "nn-tss-nn-tss" repeatedly.
Reality TV
Being a VT Editor
My little fridge that seemed like such a good idea to begin with
Manchester
Thin carpets
Black mint
That little moment in time between preparing to sneeze and actually sneezing. Imagine being stuck like that forever!
Hiccups
Baggy trousers that are far far too baggy
The fact I shall never rule the world
Most buses
Train irregularity
Walking
The absence of supernatural phenomenon
Asparagus
Sex toys. Just use regular household items. No point in splashing out. The cash, that is.
Emoness. (What happens if you put 5 emos in a square room? One dies because they don't have a corner to cry in. Ho ho ho, what a roaring good laugh.)
Jokes nobody laughs at
When I think of something funny, and don't say it.
Facebook
Pointless abbreviations
Long, pointless lists written by losers with nothing better to do.
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