el Bobo

I am the Angel of Death. The time of The Purification is at hand. I invented people watching. I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I'm also a paranoid schizophrenic. This profile is ribbed for your pleasure. I think horses that ride in trailers are lazy. I'm way more cuddlier than I look. I make 8- track mix tapes for my friends, but they never listen to them. I'm very passionate about being dispassionate. They say that time heals all wounds. Except decapitation. That shit's permanent. I'm a sucker for a nice pair of tits. My grandma had a stroke down the left side of her body - she's all right now. I bite. I was breast fed until the age of eight. The family dog was happy once I was finally weaned. I mess with Texas. I can be very spontaneous if given enough forewarning. The Dirty Sanchez was named after my uncle Robert Steven Johnson. I flunked out of mime college for speaking. I was going to be the world's first talking mime. I want to be a chef. I hate cooking, but I have a tall white hat fetish. I am easily the most humble person you will ever meet. I do bikram pilates. I've been described as "saucy" but only by me. I like reptiles. I'm the only Christian abortionist outside of the Vatican. I'm a misanthropic sociopath, or is it a sociopathic misanthrope? I forget, and I'm too apathetic to care. I don't believe in myspace - not that I think it won't work, but that I don't think it really exists. My friends say I'm indecisive, but I don't know... I attended deep-sea welding school in Montana, but afterwards found it difficult to find work there. I like wrong number phone sex, and short walks on the beach. I think it's time that fan dancing made a comeback. I have the uncanny ability to memorize Simpsons episodes. I like Tai Chi, and Chai Tea. A few years ago I conquered the world, but drank too much at the after party, and when I came to, the world had taken itself back. I've been described as "disarmingly intelligent" but only by the voices inside my head. I'm a punctual procrastinator. I juggled gas-powered chainsaws. Once. I thought I think too much, but then I thought otherwise. I'm a chronic insomniac. I've been "told" that I "over-use" "air quotation marks." Recently my left testicle started getting cocky, so I shaved the right one just to show the left one what could happen to it. A former employer assigned me office 666. I frequently offend those who are easily offended, and those who are not. No one would ever call me politically correct. However, many have called me a jerk, a bastard, rude, insensitive, irreverent, asshole, clod, the defendant, etc. My favorite saying is "You go girl!" I use it frequently in conversations with my bitches. The saying I hear the most often is: "That's him officer!" My sister says my penis has "a certain Wessonality." Sometimes I slip myself some roofies before I jack off, so that when I awaken, I'll think I got some action. I'm more goth than you are. I like animals. No, I love animals. I love them so much, that I wish they could be inside of me. So I eat them. I like masturbating during confession so I can kill two birds with one stone. The Catholic priests like it too. I think about you when I masturbate. I'm afraid of the dark. And the light. I think judgemental people are stupid. Chicks dig me. I spent 48 hours in county on a 5150 for being cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. I'm a pretty tolerant person, unless your name happens to be Lactose. I don't get mad, I get mad. Whoops - guess I was wrong. I lowered my cholesterol. I say what other people are thinking. Or maybe I have that backwards. Butt fucking is my favorite form of birth control. I don't run or walk with scissors. They come to me! It's OK to need reassurance, isn't it? Someone once called me an idiot, to which I replied "Dad, you're the idiot." Hemorrhoids are the new black. My friends say I have a short attention sp... There was only one thing that I could do - was ding a ding dang, my dang a long ling long.