Alfred profile picture

Alfred

Only a man devoid of a soul could take solace in a beastial ancestry!

About Me

Slightly above average intelligence...
which means i'm still a fucking moron.
JUST smart enough to realize how stupid we are...

Likes:
hitting the Snooze button
drinking just till my lips are numb
BLACK ink
sneezing so hard it cracks my back
squeezing cheeks so hard it cracks my back...
tapping a dinner plate against my left fist
throwing snowballs at my dog and his reactions
interpreting thick accents
deciphering bad handwriting
zombie killing spree dreams
the smell of an old guitar case
the Reach floss handle
flatwound bass strings
running in deep snow
anchovies
Pico De Gallo! (fuck salsa...)
Swiss Cheese
the sound of frying eggs and bacon
watching tv with the kids
music with headphones
new toothbrushes
Dislikes:
Myspace banners THAT MAKE NOISE!
i hate plastic packaging! i could probably rip the arms off a grown man, but half the time i can't open the bag in a box of cereal...
half-hand-shakes
people who constantly talk at concerts... GO TO A CLUB!
i hate it when people say they're a big fan of Sarah McLaughlin
Alfred hates people referring to themselves in the third person.
capitalization and proper punctuation...
meringue on my lemon pie
magazine inserts!!!
touching a rough, dry flannel
ALL NFL sportscasters
having change in my pockets
Kokomo, Indiana
NASCAR
hockey
baseball on television and radio
WIMPY, skinny drinking straws!! (taco bell)
i hate scenes in movies where someone has to dig a hole and it's looks like freshly broken up potting soil.
HIDDEN TRACKS! just name the fucking song. i don't want to fast forward through five minutes of silence!
fundamentalist Christians
the Betty theme song to The L Word
upside-down lightswitches
the Naked Archaeologist... dipshit. wish i had a quarter for every time he said "maybe", "if", or "perhaps"
..START BZOINK.COM SURVEY CODE
Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits: Plainsong - the cure
Waking up: Ugly - smashing pumpkins, The Greatest - cat power
Average day: Hurry Up and Wait - stereophonics, Tracy - mogwai, Nothingman - pearl jam, Recoil - ani difranco
First date: Shameless - ani difranco, Maybe Tomorrow - stereophonics LOL
Falling in love: Halo - the cure, Ascension(Don't Ever Wonder) - maxwell, As Is - ani
Love scene: So What - ani difranco, Lonely Boy - leonna naess, Losing Hope - jack johnson LOL, gotta throw some Sade in there... and like One Hundred Years - the cure, Special Needs - placebo HAH! All I Need - Air, Black Tongue - yeah yeah yeahs
Fight scene: Bulls on Parade - rage against the machine
Breaking up: Love Disappears - jeffrey gaines(go find him)
Getting back together: Let's Stay Together - brother al, Coming Back to Life - pink floyd
Secret love: Waltz #2 - Elliott Smith, Life in Rain - remy zero, Ruled by Secrecy - muse
Life's okay: Do You Realize? - the flaming lips, A Simple Plan - pedro the lion, Three Days - jane's addiction
Mental breakdown: Plush - stone temple pilots, The Strangest Thing - george michael, Preaching the End of the World - Chris Cornell
Driving: Rain - cocrete blonde, Untitled - interpol, Alone in Kyoto - air, 23 - Jimmy Eat World
Learning a lesson: What Sarah Said - death cab for cutie, Mayonnaise - smashing pumpkins
Deep thought: Grey - ani difranco, Stanley Kubrick - mogwai
Flashback: Waiting for that Day - george michael, Just Like Heaven - the cure
Partying: ROADS - portishead (don't ask) Keep Swinging - pedro the lion
Happy dance: The Exploding Boy - the cure, Nowhere Again - secret machines
Regreting: Spilt Milk - the cure
Long night alone: Everybody Here Wants You - jeff buckley
Death scene: You Have Been Loved - george michael, The Man Who Told Everything - doves
Closing credits: Satisfied Mind - Jeff Buckley or Untitled by the cure... depends on when i die, i guess...
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do my puzzle! it's a pic taken in my driveway in January.. ..Make your own puzzle at http://www.flash-gear.com/puzzle/
How to make an Alfred
Ingredients:
1 part anger
5 parts courage
5 parts beauty
Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Top it off with a sprinkle of emotion and enjoy!
Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com
eh... i'd rather be Butch, i think...
You're Lance!
Take Which Pulp Fiction Character Are You? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey 's Personality Test Generator .

Lance is a slobby, long-haired heroine dealer with a likeness for old movies and cartoons. He has a large imported stash of drugs that he delivers for high price and has a little medical training. He is nervous, but steady when put under pressure.

shit, i woulda guessed 50/50... c'mon...
Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male
Your brain leans femaleYou think with your heart, not your headSweet and considerate, you are a giverBut you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you! What Gender Is Your Brain?
cool, but what's with this stupid photograph?
You are Alain! Quiet and introverted, you prefer
thinking to talking. Even though you aren't
that social, you have a kind heart, and will
help those in need. You often see things from a
unique perspective, but people seem to ignore
your feelings. Learn to speak up, and show that
you take pride in what you do!
The Dark Tower Character Test
brought to you by Quizilla
Which British Band Are You?
Which Trainspotting Character Are You?
Hades
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
You scored as Suffocated. Your cause of death will be suffocation. Be careful and chew before you swallow!
Suffocated


87%

Suicide


87%

Bomb


80%

Disappear


80%

Gunshot


60%

Stabbed


53%

Posion


53%

Eaten


53%

Natural Causes


47%

Accident


47%

Disease


20%

Drowning


20%

Cut Throat


7%
How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Alfred, Alfie, mud
Birthday: 3-20-72
Birthplace: Ravenswood Hospital in Chicago
Current Location: across the Lake in rural Michigan
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: ash blonde with a slight reddish tint
Height: a hair under 6'2" while barefoot
Right Handed or Left Handed: ambidextrous for the most part
Your Heritage: whitetrash... could i LOOK anymore Irish? god knows what my mom is... i think she's Jewish or Italian or something Mediterranean
The Shoes You Wore Today: Cat work shoes, they make me almost 6'3" :)
Your Weakness: dark chocolate, dark beer, dark eyes, dark hair, dark skies...
Your Fears: mice (i'm like a cartoon elephant...), ladders... wasps
Your Perfect Pizza: stuffed spinach or pan broccoli and onion from Barry's Spot on Broadway in Chicago
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: lose about twenty pounds
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: hardly ever sign on anymore
Thoughts First Waking Up: gotta pee, bet the dog does too...
Your Best Physical Feature: been told my shoulders, eyes, hands, smile, even my goofy hair... if you had ever seen my grandfather, you'd know why i think it's my nose...
Your Bedtime: 11pm or earlier in the summer, midnight or later in the winter
Your Most Missed Memory: oh my memory... serves me far too well...
Pepsi or Coke: caffeine free regular or diet coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds... only cuz Burger King has gone way down hill the past several years
Single or Group Dates:
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: don't care for tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: man, i haven't had a swirl soft serve ice cream cone in FOR EV ER
Cappuccino or Coffee: no caffeine
Do you Smoke: hellno
Do you Swear: as often as possible without sounding like a complete moron
Do you Sing: as often as possible without sounding like a complete moron
Do you Shower Daily: have to... i can't stand that greasy feelin...
Have you Been in Love: i suppose
Do you want to go to College: actually i do
Do you want to get Married: i'd like to meet someone first
Do you belive in yourself: i hate this question... i mean, i exist, right? it's not like i'm Santa Claus or something... i'm not the most confident person...
Do you get Motion Sickness: i don't care much for boats, but i adapt pretty quickly
Do you think you are Attractive: i could be
Are you a Health Freak: i could do better
Do you get along with your Parents: i'm the oldest of five... i was always just kinda *there* i never caused much of a problem... almost feel more like i was raised by siblings though...
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes, but not when i'm on top of a blueberry harvester!
Do you play an Instrument: yes, i can almost play bass and i try to play guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes, but i kinda lost all desire to drink... even in social situations... but i have a new favorite beer! it's a Belgium Lambic either Lindemans or Leifmans Framboise(raspberry), Kriek(cherry) or the best: Peche(peach, duh)
In the past month have you Smoked: i'll never smoke... but sometimes like being around smokers... not often... but man Camels smell good at times
In the past month have you been on Drugs: i coulda used some
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: i made the mistake of driving BY the mall before christmas... holy crap, i dunno how people do it...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: i've BOUGHT a box of oreos, but i didn't eat it all
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no, but i like it
In the past month have you been on Stage: no... damn, i forgot to list that as a fear...
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: don't think so
Ever been Drunk: ohyeah... five lousy beers has me stumbling these days...
Ever been called a Tease: don't think so
Ever been Beaten up: other than my uncles? no
Ever Shoplifted: yes, i stole a Playboy when i was 12 on a dare
How do you want to Die: not in pain in a hospital bed, that much i've learned over the past two years!!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: when i was a kid i wanted to be Evel Knievel or Indiana Jones
What country would you most like to Visit: i'm hoping my aunt moves back to Italy... but i'd love to see Ireland, Spain, Egypt, Greece...
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: don't really care, but in the past i've been very partial to Brown
Favourite Hair Color: don't really care but in the past i've been partial to Brunettes
Short or Long Hair: either
Height: i usedta say the taller the better, but often fall for the shorter girls...
Weight: ?
Best Clothing Style: mine? i like to wear Dickies pocket Teeshirts and Levi's 501 Jeans... is that a style?? i'm too big for much anything fashionable or trendy anymore... so i keep it simple... ani tshirts are the most comfortable :) a girl's clothing style? i don't care... i like lotsa things girls wear :)
Number of Drugs I have taken: me? zero... 'cept for prescription and over the counter stuff...
Number of CDs I own: me? over 200...
Number of Piercings: me - zero
Number of Tattoos: me - zero
Number of things in my Past I Regret: not seeing Elliott Smith and Jeff Buckley in concert while they were alive... that's at least two...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
i bounce back just fine...
nowadays...
Your Birthdate: March 20
Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading.The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make fri
Which Egyptian God or Goddess do you represent? (Pictures!)

Sekhmet, Goddess of War
Sekhmet means She who is powerful. She was a mighty ancient Egyptian goddess, who was the daughter of Ra, and was known as the Eye of Ra. Though known as the goddess of war, Sekhmet was known as the power that protects the good and annihilates the bad. She was meant to destroy the men that rebelled against her father, Ra. She destroyed them with such fury, that Ra feared she might exterminate the entire race.
As for you, I'd say you have a pretty good personality. You know humans cannot be trusted, and you are hesitant to do things, so you stick up for yourself and others well. Just watch that temper of yours and life should be great.

Take The Quiz Now! Quizzes by myYearbook.com
I edited my profile with Thomas’ Myspace Editor V3.6 !

My Interests

Archaeology
ancient history
origins of life (evolution)
Blueberry Farming

finally starting my own farm...
bought 12.5 acres from a neighbor. it's taken a lot more work and money than i had thought, but i should start planting as soon as harvest is over for my employer...
Glenaholm Rhodesian Ridgebacks
Chester's parents are both from a famous kennel in South Africa... Charlie is his 1st cousin... their mothers are full sisters, from the same litter even...
Charlie at 5weeks:
Charlie at 5months:

i'd like to start breeding RR's myself... if i can afford it :)
Charlie's getting so big, so fast... it took Chester a long while to finally warm up to him :)

the Fender VI
my Inca Silver Jazzmaster VI that i made with USA Custom Guitars, who copied the wood from my original '62... it's a shortscale bass with two extra strings that allow for more of a baritone range...
Old Cars

i'm not even driving my LTD this summer :(
can't afford the insurance! SOMEday i'll get started on the '49 Mercury... and i still want a motorcycle... hell, a scooter...
Chicago Bears
Chicago Bulls

I'd like to meet:



Somebody.

Music:

same as before...
number in parenthesis is how many times i've seen them in concert,
asterisk if i've met 'em
Ani Difranco (13)

the Cure (4)

Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2)

Pinback (2)
Jane's Addiction (1)*briefly
Muse (4)*
Elliott Smith
George Michael (1)
Cat Power (1)
Jeff Buckley
Faith No More (1)
Pink Floyd
Al Green
Natalie Merchant (2)
Interpol (3)
Dandy Warhols (1)
Sigur Ros (1)
Sarah McLachlan (2)
Johnny Cash
Van Morrison
Mogwai (4)*Stuart
Deah Cab For Cutie (2)
Postal Service
Doves (1)
Elbow (1)*
Dresden Dolls (1)
30 Seconds to Mars (1)
Placebo
Dido (2)*
Alice In Chains (2)*shook Layne's hand
Phantom Planet (1)*
Queen
Keane
Secret Machines (1)
Concrete Blonde (2)*
Elton John (1)
Red Hot Chili Peppers (1)
Heart
Depeche Mode (1)
Stevie Wonder
Jewel (2)
Deftones (1)
Franz Ferdinand (1)
Dinosaur Jr (2)
Pearl Jam (1)
Beatles
Elvis

Nine Inch Nails (1)
Evanescence (1)
MxPx (1)
Peter Gabriel
Jeffery Gaines
David Garza
Duncan Sheik
Gorillaz
Air
John Lee Hooker
Muddy Waters
Filter (1)
Joe Satriani (1)*
Chevelle (1)
Duran Duran
Lyle Lovett (1)
My Chemical Romance
Live (4?)
AFI
Lenny Kravitz (2)
Portishead
Stone Temple Pilots (2)
Radiohead
Smashing Pumpkins (4)
The Killers (1)
Sting
Jude
Sam Cooke
Weezer (3)
Tenacioius D (1)*just KG
Marvin Gaye
anything to do with Chris Cornell
Carpenters
The Roots (1)
Crowded House
Pixies (1)
New Order
The Smiths {hate Morrisey still}
Beastie Boys
Fleetwood Mac
Musiq (1)
Dashboard Confessional (3)
Def Leppard (5)*****
Alanis Morissette (2)
Eagles (1)
Our Lady Peace (2)
Willie Nelson (1)
DMX (1)
Korn (2)
Bush (4)*Gavin
Primus (1)
Tool (2)
Brian Setzer (1)
Aerosmith
Black Crowes (2)
Rage Against the Machine (2)
Metallica (1)
REM
Jimmy Eat World (1)
Stereophonics (1)
JJ72 (1)
Travis (1)
Remy Zero (2)*
Mazzy Star (1)*
OURS (1)*
Verve Pipe (11)*** local band back in the day
Djali Zwan (1)
Linkin Park (1)*
Snow Patrol (1)
Rammstein (2)
Pete Yorn (2)
Michelle Branch (1)*
Seether (1)
Elastica (2)**
Steve Miller Band (1)
Foo Fighters (1)
Tonic (1)
Hall&Oates
Billie Holliday
Chris Isaak
Coldplay
Under the Influence of Giants (1)
Taking Back Sunday
Journey (1)*
Pedro the Lion
Ray Lamontagne
Sean Lennon
have i said John Lennon yet?
Hope of the States
Frou Frou
Imogen Heap
Massive Attack
Hellogoodbye
Albert Hammond Jr.
Brandi Carlile
Michael Matera
do a websearch for him... amazing instrumental stuff with the Fender VI

Movies:

An Inconvenient Truth
The God Who Wasn't There
Bladerunner
Sense and Sensibility
Amelie
Dune
High Fidelity
Roman Holiday, My Fair Lady, Two For the Road, Breakfast at Tiffany's and SABRINA
Resevoir Dogs, True Romance, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill 1&2
Fight Club
Oscar!
Rhinestone
i don't care for Rambo or many other Sylvester Stallone films, but i would LOVE to meet him. JUST to tell him how much i loved those two comedies...
Steel Magnolias
i know the entire script. hey. i have sisters.
Se7en, Memento, American Psycho
Closer
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Dracula
Gary Oldman was the best EVER.
THAT's where you spend your money in a dracula movie... ON DRACULA!!! NOT the pretty girl or Van Helsing!!
or waste it all on CGI...
Lost Boys, Underworld, Blade
Branagh's Othello
Mel Gibsons Hamlet
the recent Jane Eyre production with William Hurt
The Last Samurai
Boondock Saints
I *heart* Huckabees
The Royal Tenenbaums
O Brother, Where Art Thou
Monsoon Wedding
Sin City
About a Boy
Notting Hill
What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Anchorman
40 Year Old Virgin
The Incredibles
Mulan
Finding Nemo
Elf
Shrek
Goldmember
Waking Life
What the f*ck Do We Know?
Me and You and Everyone We Know
Before Sunrise
Before Sunset
the Trois Coleurs series...
did that man know beautiful women or what?
the Harry Potter films
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (swear i'm gonna learn Mandarin from watching it repeatedly)
The Crow
Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Godfather Trilogy
X-Men Trilogy
Alien, Aliens and Alien3
Terminator trilogy
BOTH Star Wars Trilogies... yeah, Episode I sucks big time... but i expect it now and can enjoy the good parts...
Ewan McGreggor MADE those films. without him, ALL would have been lost...
Spanglish, Lost in Translation, Punch Drunk Love, Rules of Attraction, Happiness
Love&Sex with Jon Favreau and Famke Janssen
Legends of the Fall, Snow Falling on Cedars...
Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, CLERKS II
Aeon Flux! If i was a 16 year old kid that had not grown up with Bladerunner as my favorite, THIS would be my favorite movie...
Gattaca
Equilibrium
anything with Chris Farely, David Spade and Adam Sandler...
hell... even Rob Schneider...
Hot Chick was hilarious.
anything with Don Cheadle
Hotel Rwanda
United States of Leland
Crash
The Color Purple
Willow
The Last Starfighter
Lucas
DROP DEAD FRED
Good Will Hunting
Magnolia
Highlander
Clueless
Swingers (did i say that already?)
Support Your Local Sherrif
Tombstone
Silverado
Open Range
Wyatt Earp
Paint Your Wagon
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
The Pianist, Schindler's List, and the Grey Zone
i'm furgetin a lot that were deleted from this list...
Little Miss Sunshine
Rent
Trojan War,

Television:

new favorites:
The Boondocks
The Dog Whisperer
Naked Science
House
HEROES!
holyshit is this cool.
perfect timing for this show...
Boston Legal is my current favorite comedy... Shatner is BRILLIANT in the role of Denny Crane. Watch it! i had no desire to start watching this from the previews, but i took a chance one night and fell in love with it.
have really been getting into Criminal Minds... barely watch any of the CSI's anymore...
Penn&Teller: BULLSHIT!
South Park
Two and a Half Men, American Idol... (yeah,so,wanna fight about it?!?)
mostly watch the History Channels and Discovery
ESPN, NFL Network, IMF and Fuse
Family Guy, Star Wars CLONE WARS!
BBC's The Office
My Name is Earl, Simpsons, Scrubs, Everybody Loves Raymond's Wife...
CSI's (NY is really the only one i watch)
kinda follow ER
Long Way Round
tons of tv on dvd...
Freaks&Geeks
Undeclared
Party of Five
Dark Angel
21 Jumpstreet
Alias
L Word
grew up loving M*A*S*H
Andy Griffith Show
SANFORD AND SON

Books:

Stephen King's Dark Tower Series
The Complete World of Human Evolution
mostly only read Archaeology Magazine and Scientific American...
i'm not well read.
for some stupid reason...
Crisis of Conscience
finally finished reading Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
currently reading his American Gods
and someday i might finish When They Severed Earth From Sky: How the Human Mind Creates Myth...
and sometimes, for a laugh while on the shitter at my parents' house... i still read this magazine:

Heroes:



also: Norah Ormerod, Laurie Venter, Louis Lawnin Crawford and Arthur Thomas (he owns a large blueberry operation yet still drives his harvester! :)

My Blog

random thoughts from a tractor

what if native american war paint was less about looking fierce and more about a beauty regimen? probably made a great sunscreen... or a nice cleansing facial mask... what if Egyptian Mythology is TRU...
Posted by Alfred on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 09:32:00 PST

fascinating

i've wondered a lil about this kinda shit... had no idea read the whole thing dammit, don't just focus on the initial shocking claim... Hummer vs. Prius   still not gettin no fuckin' Scion......
Posted by Alfred on Sat, 19 May 2007 05:08:00 PST

Got a broken heart and your name on my cast

there was just an AM/FM radio in my work truck...cd player in my red truck hadn't worked for almost a year before i stopped driving it... so when i got my Tahoe, the first thing i did was burn a compi...
Posted by Alfred on Fri, 11 May 2007 05:45:00 PST

i HATE

the commercials for THE GHOST WHISPERER SO MUCH   that i think i would go on a killing spree if i were to attempt to watch an episode...  ...
Posted by Alfred on Thu, 10 May 2007 08:49:00 PST

get this to me!

that's what Clay usedta say while watching a toy commercial... i'm sayin it about thishere... awman i coulda bought one just like it... 5 or 6 years agofor a lil over $2,000couldn't afford it it may h...
Posted by Alfred on Fri, 27 Apr 2007 10:30:00 PST

Coolest. Gift. Ever.

i think it was March 23rd 1995 it was the day that i saw Wendy Copenhaver working at her sister's store... first time in years... and she was complimenting me on how great i looked... i'll never forge...
Posted by Alfred on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 09:09:00 PST

i don't want any friends.

that smoke. i accepted an invitation for pizza and a movie this evening.took a shower...brushed my perty clean hair...put on clean clothes... so i could go sit next to some chain smokers. no thanks. n...
Posted by Alfred on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 09:43:00 PST

come kiss Hank's ass with me...

you HAVE to watch this... or Hank will KICK YOUR ASS!   weiners in buns, NO condiments!  ...
Posted by Alfred on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 05:28:00 PST

finally finished season 3 of the L Word

tha's some bullshit   Dana's my least favorite regular&but damn.   I was pissed that Alice didn't say MORE at that funeral&   If by some freak chance my parents try to have some fune...
Posted by Alfred on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:35:00 PST

Family Guy

tonight i watched the first full episode of Family Guy of this season... i think... i chuckled twice what the fuck? when did they jump the shark? i haven't cared to watch the show in forever weird. oh...
Posted by Alfred on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 09:03:00 PST