The Notorious P.D.M. - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Miss Trannyshack 2007! View the video which kicked off Pollo's title-winning performance at the star-studded 2007 Miss Trannyshack Pageant.It's hard work looking this easy!
Though she looks glamorous, Pollo DelMar is really just a smalltown girl run amok in the big city. Even though she was born on the wrong side of the tracks -- despite the fact there isn't a right side of the tracks in rural Beaver County, Pennsylvania -- Pollo always knew she was destined for big things. Soon fate proven right!
At the age of 5, Pollo was cast as the under-study to play "Mary" in her elementary school's Christmas musical. She followed her critically-acclaimed performance the following spring as "Talking Flower No. 2" in a regional children's theatre production of Alice in Wonderland. Pollo wowed judges three years in a row at by traveling all the way to Pittsburgh to audition for TV hit Star Search. Though she was never chosen to compete on the televised talent show, everyone knows she was robbed by that bastard Ed McMahon!
Several years later, Pollo's big break finally came. Tragedy turned to solid gold for the lovely -- and lucky -- aspiring starlet.
In a day which still lives in infamy in her hometown, a tractor-trailer carrying a load of hogs jackknifed on Interstate 71. Not only was traffic stopped for over five hours as State Patrol herded the swine, the accident claimed the life of reigning "Miss Beaver" Amber Sue Jenkins. Since 1st Runner-Up Donna Jean Bartlett had become pregnant, marrying a local auto mechanic that fall, it was Pollo's obligation as 2nd Runner-Up to fullfill the Queen's final 72-hours of duties. The 16-year old beauty could never imagine what would come next!
While cutting the ribbon at the opening of the new Piggly Wiggly, Pollo was spotted by a Hollywood producer! In town filming an episode of COPS, he mistook the shapely youngster for a pin-up girl he saw in a recent issue of Swank magazine. The small-town girl was immediately taken by his insinuation she had what it takes to make it to the pages of such a prestigious magazine -- and by the producer's thick . . . wallet, of course!
Swept up in the glamour and glitz of his Hollywood sheen, she decided to run away to the West Coast with the film-maker as soon as she passed her crown at the next County Fair.
The rest, as they say, is Hollywood history . . .

My Interests

Like so many other women struggling in this Man's World, Pollo enjoys fashion, shopping, and pedicures. "Mama always said men like pretty toes," she revealed when asked her fashion tips. "Pretty feet and blond hair are the keys to any man's heart!"

Pollo considers herself a contemporary woman, too. She stays abreast of all issues of importance to women, such as the best colors for her skin tone, whether she is a "Summer," "Spring" or "Fall" according to Cosmo and why Jessica cheated on Nick. ("She doesn't deserve you, baby!" says Pollo. "I would never leave you!")

She has become accustomed to the finer things in life. Do not skimp if trying to win her affection -- and don't expect to slack off after just one night of Korbel's Champagne at the Travelodge. If Pollo learned anything from her mother, it's that men can be replaced . . . and that means you, mister!

As important as Pollo's "Likes" are her "Dislikes."

Her least favorite kind of Coke is Pepsi. She absolutely hates sushi. "You dirty bastards didn't even cook this!" she once shrieked when confronted with the alleged "delicacy." If it's not Aquanet, it's not hairspray. Nothing less than Trojans XL, thankyouverymuch. And, of course, Brunettes are simply women too lazy to be Blondes.

I'd like to meet:

Dying to Be 'Daddy's Little Girl

Pollo's biggest dream, next to being named "Playmate of the Year" by Playboy just like her idol Anna Nicole Smith, is to meet her birth father. Her mother, a contortionist whose skills made her a rising star on the regional circus scene and popular among local firefighters, construction workers and clergyfolk, was abandoned during her pregnancy.

As with most of her eight half-brothers and sisters, Pollo longed for a father's love. Though she appreciates her mother's efforts to raise their children without consistent male role models, the ingenue longed for the love of a real father -- not just the men she occasionally called "Daddy."

"My mother did the best she could to raise me," Pollo told The Beaver Bulletin when she ascended to "Miss Beaver" way-back-when. "Even though I respected all her husbands, there wasn't one of those six or seven men who could take the place of the father I never knew."

Hiring a private investigator proved fruitless. Pollo refused to believe his findings that Jeb Jenkins, the local hog farmer, was her father. (Everyone in Beaver knows her father is a renowned -- if unnamed -- international spy currently on assignment in the Middle East!)

Now she struggles for fame & fortune in The Golden State, Pollo hopes one day her biological father will take notice and return to her life. Every night she closes her prayers by asking God for bigger hair, bigger boobs and for "Daddy to come home safe."

Music:

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Movies:

Pollo's favorite films include Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult, To the Limit and Skyscraper, all starring her idol Anna Nicole Smith!

Television:

Pollo hopes to star in the Lifetime Channel made-for-TV-movie about the life of, who else, Anna Nicole Smith.

Books:

The National Enquirer, Star, People and, of course, The Beaver Bulletin.

As Seen With Some of My Heroes

Trannyshack Superstar: Precious Moments

Midnight Mass Superstar: Peaches Christ

Heroes:

Does Pollo even need to say which little Texas-girl-turned-Playboy-legend-turned-heiress she loves the most? Maybe you can Guess?

My Blog

Hey, CRIB! Whats a Bitch Got to Do?!?

Last night at The Crib was one for the record books, apparently. Despite having a fantastic time, I couldn't help but be disappointed! Sure, it was amazing to be on the town with the legend...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Fri, 26 Oct 2007 12:25:00 PST

"Praying for Time"

Tuesday night was my return to Trannyshack. After a couple of months away, it was good to be back onstage in front of the crowd. That it was paying tribute to George Michael, who I absolutely love, do...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:44:00 PST

"Earth to Pollo!"

When I saw Heklina's glare from across the sea of people paying tribute to Peaches Christ Friday night at the de Young Museum, I knew I was in trouble. Seconds later -- her voice cutting through me li...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 01:46:00 PST

9 out of 10 Prison Inmates Think I'm Hot!!

When Hilary and I got home from a quick trip to KFC yesterday, I was so excited! Waiting in my mailbox were two letters stamped "California State Prison, Los Angeles County." You see, for the past cou...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:52:00 PST

AIDS Walk Notes & Lessons

As much as I can't believe it, I actually completed the AIDS Walk. It was 6.2 Miles -- which is apparently what 10 Kilometers translates to -- and we enjoyed the majority of it. During the three or so...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 04:15:00 PST

My Day with RuPaul

"'I was talking to Ru the other day, and . . .'" Visa DeKlein was mocking me. Turning in the front seat of Hilary's drag mobile, she looked at me over her shoulder and rolled his eyes. "How many tim...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Fri, 22 Jun 2007 03:59:00 PST

Bittersweet: The Golden Girls Ends Its Hit Run!

Last night, in front of our final sold-out audience, The Golden Girls: The Play ended its hit three-week run. Since opening May 3, we gave 19 performances, all to packed houses. The experience was ...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Mon, 21 May 2007 10:47:00 PST

The Golden Girls: Opening Night Jitters?

Tonight, The Golden Girls opens. It's such a simple statement, really, but it cares quite a bit of weight. It's the moment Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin, Mike Finn and I have been working tow...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Thu, 03 May 2007 12:54:00 PST

Back Off My Drag Hag!

Before I launch into this series of thoughts, which were inspired by a text message exchange earlier today, there is something I should say first. I am not sure how Hilary feels about the term, but I...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 04:03:00 PST

An Unexpected Career Opportunity

The email was short and to the point. "A mutual friend recommended you for a freelance job. Let me know if you're interested." It was sign "MEF," the initials of an assignment editor at a well-known...
Posted by The Notorious P.D.M. on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 02:09:00 PST