Unamerican Joe

I'm a bastard. If I saw you in the street I'd probably point and laugh. That's ok because if you saw me, you'd probably do the same. I'm Mexican but I look white - this gives me a fucking unique ass perspective on modern American society, believe me. I hold to the cynical belief that people are all shallow self-indulgent morons. Shockingly enough I have yet to be proven wrong. This is ok because I've learned to take joy in the mockery and ridicule of others.
Saying "fawesome" instead of fucking awesome is fawesome. Music, reading, learning, increasing your knowledge and awareness of the world around you, getting fucked up, THC, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, fucking, and making fun of crazy ass nutjobs are all also fawesome.
Life in general though sucks so much fucking ass it's a miracle I haven't shot myself in the head already but that's fine because we're all going to be dead in the next couple generations once humanity either blows itself up, destroys the environment's ability to support ourselves, or the declining birthrate in nations with western-style liberal democracies combined with the youth bulge in religious fundamentalist states committed to governing themselves and everyone else on Earth under the precepts of sharia, plus the increasing politicization of biblical fundamentalists in the U.S. and elsewhere will ensure that one way or another, we, either humanity as a whole or just secular denizens of "the western world", will cease to exist in a few generations' time.
In spite of this, I'd still like to spawn offspring someday. That's probably just a vestigial remnant of my Latino male cultural indoctrination. I'm much more fucked up in the head than you want to know. I love my friends but I fucking hate the average in-duh-vidual on the street. I despise fundamentalists, whether Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or other. There's a good chance I'd hate you, but there's an even greater chance you'd hate me, so it all balances out in the end. This is good because I'm a huge proponent of balance, fairness, and equity. :)
In another time and another place I'd be an obnoxious idealistic cunt. As it is, my disdain for humanity combined with my über-pragmatism mean that I just don't give a shit, even though, in a lot of ways I really do give a shit. I think Nietzsche was on to something when he said that Christianity leads to nihilism. This does not mean I am totally unreligious however. In point of fact, I worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I have been touched by his noodly appendage and I will take up arms to defend my perfectly sane and rational religious beliefs against the kafir who would dare to insult me or my pastafarian god. Flying-Spaghetti-Monster-u Akbar!