A Famous Writer profile picture

A Famous Writer

Nothing to confess, but I have scars deeper than your minds.

About Me

My novel is out, in stores now! It's Gravitas , published by Onyx Neon Press, a local publisher! I'm excited.

The trouble with talking
Is it makes you sound clever
The trouble with waiting
Is you’ll just wait forever

— Linford Detweiler

Male. 30. Homeowner. Cat herder. Professional writer. World's coolest uncle. Intuitive. Introspective. Landlord. Novelist. Gamer. Cook. Guitarist. Pianist. Numismatist. Neologian (vocabulary showoff).

I'm trying to decide if people both recognize and appreciate sincerity. (I've given up on trying to recognize it in myself; there's an epistemological problem for sure.)

Critical Acclaim
[writer] is a big bundle of love. He needs to buy a bigger sofa. He doesn't realise how fabulous he is.

— the fabulous Anouska

I don't think anyone would be safe from any evil plan you had in mind, but at least you would be honest about it.

— The April

My Interests

I'm a guy. I like video games, even if I only get a couple of hours a week to play.

Cups.

Paint a picture. Mow my lawn. Write a television show. Create a video game. Take my nephew to the museum.

I'd like to meet:

Honest people.

Mature, independent people.

Responsible people.

People who aren't afraid to fight when necessary, but compromise when useful and apologize and accept apologies when helpful.

You will find, if you look carefully into any human's heart, that he is haunted by at least two imaginary women—a terrestrial and an infernal Venus, and that his desire differs qualitatively according to its object.

— C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

Music:

The best concert I've ever seen was Over the Rhine at midnight in an Illinois cornfield. It is indescribable how beautiful such a sound could exist under the stars.

Sixpence None the Richer and Chasing Furies make me cry.

Violent Blue has the best third verse ever.

The Seventy Sevens might possibly be the best rock and roll band in the world.

I own the Chagall Guevara CD. I know most of the words to Still Know Your Number by Heart. The lead singer once asked if I was a psychic. Fear me.

Movies:

Chai Tea is delicious. I know it's a drink and not a movie, but there's no section for "Favorite Drinks". See? I'm adaptable.

The Princess Bride has absolutely everything in it.

The scene in Casablanca at the train station, where Rick reads Ilsa's letter... oh yes.

I like really bad movies too. (Donna will attest to this.) TiVo knows that any description which starts "Giant robots terrorize..." is a must-record.

Television:

I miss Futurama and Firefly. I have to wait how long again for new Battlestar Galactica episodes? (I wrote that same sentence after the end of the second season. Why do I have to write it again after the end of the third season?)

Books:

Annie Dillard, Umberto Eco, Roger Zelazny, Neal Stephenson, C. S. Lewis, G. K. Chesterton. (If you know that they're writers and not books, even better.)

I've written a novel, a couple of plays, and several short stories and someday would like to write an episode of a television series and a comic book.

Thomas Pynchon has great sentences and paragraphs. I wish I knew what his plots were though.

For most men, and most circumstances, pleasure—tangible material prosperity—is the safest test of virtue.

— Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh

Heroes:

The so-called average person who silently and humbly does the right thing even when it's not easy and certainly not free.

People who can love unconditionally, even in small doses to complete strangers.

My parents, who were my age now when they had me, learned as they went along, and fulfilled all of our needs as equitably and fairly as they could. The thought of me doing that someday terrifies me.

Those who had been afraid to come near him even after he was bound began to find their courage, and for a few minutes the two girls could not even see him—so thickly was he surrounded by the whole crowd of creatures kicking him, hitting him, spitting on him, jeering at him.

— C. S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

I'll be there
Waiting
—Tiffany Arbuckle

My Blog

Good Character Bad Character

I'm writing a superhero novel.Bad name for a character: Lovefish.Good name for a character: Clownfish.Difficult recipe to work in to a superhero novel: a muffin with Lucky Charms instead of chocolate ...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Mon, 05 Nov 2007 09:17:00 PST

Oh no!

Q: What do you call a legume with a temper problem?A: A violentil.
Posted by A Famous Writer on Tue, 30 Oct 2007 08:55:00 PST

It May Be That I’m Not Smartening With Age

My mother was loading the dishwasher last night. I have a big bucket of soap under the sink, so she opened the lid and thought, "Hm, that's clumpy." Then she looked at the label and asked me "Why ar...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 01:59:00 PST

Legs of Bronze

first draft, 01 June 2007I always thought of statues. Tall warriors towered over ancient cities, shields the size of houses, swords or spears raised and ready. They catch fire in the sun, bronze bur...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 11:34:00 PST

Giver: Introduction

The first words of my new novel, Giver.Joshua watched sunbeams and leaves throw moving shadows across the park grounds. The sky was an inverted brilliant blue bowl, and huge clouds of whites and grays...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Wed, 11 Apr 2007 03:02:00 PST

Microfiction: Small Annoyances

First draft, 21 March 2007Devlin's eyes creaked open at 12:28 am, according to the hideous, industrial-strength alarm clock radio of his California-cozy hotel room. The perpetual rumbling and faint d...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Wed, 21 Mar 2007 12:36:00 PST

Golden Moon Valley

second draft, 07 February 2007I came into the valley through a narrow passage barely visible through the drying autumn brush. A trail of dust glittered in low evening light, revealing that I was not ...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 12:51:00 PST

Microfiction: Blue Moon

first draft, 03 February 2007The moon reached its zenith and blew a cruel wind across the surface of the waters, skimming until it came to a land drawn harsh by starlight.Pale, eyeless creatures cavor...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Sat, 03 Feb 2007 03:49:00 PST

Microfiction: The Billboard

first draft, 09 January 2007Christian stared. Pedestrian traffic diverted around him. Annika's face beamed down from the billboard. Her dental hygenist dream smile tripped his endocrine system as m...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 04:59:00 PST

Mr. Second Place

(first draft, 01 January 2007)There is no silver medalI rush off the field, in hope unseenCrowds cheer the victor: your chosenEvery race I finish unfleet of footHoping no man plots my entriesTo taste ...
Posted by A Famous Writer on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 07:37:00 PST