Croupier Durden profile picture

Croupier Durden

I am so cool when sheep go to sleep they count me

About Me



I am worth $2,759,518 on HumanForSale.comI suppose I am a bit of a connoisseur. You know how Donald Trump always says "This is the best (insert whatever) ever?" You know, "This is the best car ever," "This is the best post-Antebullum housing ever," "This is the best example of neo-political satire done in the medium of cardboard and rat droppings ever?" I get that, I just know life, you know? I like to surround myself with beauty. If you walk around my house, it's just full of things you don't see every day, but can stare and linger and kind of find something new. It's my life, if you walk around my life, it's just full of things you don't see every day. I like to be surrounded by the uncommon and beautiful. It's the best life, ever. Blow me, Trump. And get a haircut.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

My Interests

oh, you know, a little of this and a little of that.
I think of myself as a sensitive, intelligent being, with the soul of a clown that forces me to blow it at the worst conceivable moment.
You are a Self-Discoverer
You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality.
Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine.
You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion.
You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans. What's Your Religious Philosophy?

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet Evil Robot Ghandi.Troops

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Music:

Here is what you NEED: My little kernels that I dig out to impress people and infect them with a new sound. You should look all this up because you are missing something. DJ Green Lantern RJD2 Sage Francis Felix Da Housekat Pat Green (which I have fun with when people say they hate country.) Any off of Ninja Tunes Propellerheads Sharaz Stereophonics Toadies TV on the Radio Underworld Verve Remixed (phenomenal mixes)Worthy mentions are: Elvis, Matisyahu, Jet, Nirvana, AUDIOSLAVE, Gnarls Barkley, most Brit-Hop, The Killers, Portishead, Hendrix, Baby Anne (though she turned into an asshole last time I saw her,) Black Crowes, Dylan, Marley, BT, Butthole Surfers, Bill Laswell, Bowie, Dick Dale, Foo Fighters, Gorillaz, James Brown, Jeff Buckley, John Lee Hooker, Zepplin, Massive Attack, Neil Young, Peter Gabriel, RATM, Stones, SRV, Stevie Wonder, Sublime, Tom Petty, U2, White Stripes, lots of classic rock, and the Morgan Freeman version of "Ice, Ice Baby" I think the only thing I don't listen to is the majority of that sensitive BS rock from the 90's. (You know, Nelson, Hootie, all manure.) Name your band, I probably know it.

Movies:

Man, I am about to save your life. "Come with me if you want to live." (heh) You see, me and movies... well, there's a lot there. I've seen them. All of them. I have proof. See?
Your Movie Buff Quotient: 96%
You are a movie buff of the most obsessive variety. If a movie exists, chances are that you've seen it.
You're an expert on movie facts and trivia. It's hard to stump you with a question about film. Are You a Movie Buff?Except for those horse shit weepy chick flicks where you're supposed to feel better about your life because you just watched that plucky underdog girl get cancer and die while looking beautiful because they smeared vaseline on the lens to make the lead actress look younger. However, I digress. I'll give you the short list. L.A. Story. Equlibrium. I love Miyazaki. The Incredibles. Koyaanisqatsi. In the Mouth of Madness. They Live. Afro Samurai. Kiss, kiss, bang, Bang. The Long Kiss Goodnight. Super Troopers has the best opening scene in a comedy EVER. (Best opening if you smoke pot is Belly.) Boondock Saints. Match Point. Airplane! The Departed. The Matador. Shaun of the Dead (and Hot Fuzz.) The Proposition. Casino Royale. Layer Cake. Batman Begins. Free Enterprise. Shawshank Redemption. Revenge. Anything by Terrance Malick, Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Cuaron, and Kevin Smith. Most by Tony Scott. I go see all comic book movies because I like supporting them, but they are in danger of becoming studio product by people who don't understand the characters and it's only a matter of time before we get Michael Keaton as Batman again.

Television:

Ummmmmmm yeah, I watch a lot of closed circuit television. Mostly your place. By the way, even in the shower, you can't sing. And you're out of milk. That aside, I watch the usual Robot Chicken, Family Guy, and the Simpsons. I hate reality TV. I think it's just abhorrent and proof that TV execs will kill actual programming just to trim the overhead of making anything actually watchable and play on the greed of the vacuous, morally devoid, and the stupid just to sell ad revenue. That said, you are not watching Battlestar Galactica because it's sci fi and beyond that, a remake of a God awful 70's show. I hated it, too. (Like these disco robots were trying to kill people with disco hair who were looking for a planet to inhabit while stopping every FUCKING EPISODE on some inhabited planet! Ugh. The 70's. Glad they're over.) This is different. This is a character study of the similarities and differences between one formerly oppresssed race who retaliated with genocide and the survivors who debate retaliating with suicide bombers, germ warfare, and getting drunk and screwing everything with a pulse while fighting each other. Everyone is flawed, everyone is wounded, and all are shouldered with the phenomenally and believable explored weight of knowing that they are the last of thier species. That's fucking drama. Heroes is good too. It's kind of like Lost, except it doesn't suck. But watch Heroes, otherwise midgets will show up to your house and eat your dog.

Books:

I read a lot of deep shit. I mess around with alternate histroy lately but it's because I chew through books. I read The Godfather in the fifth grade for a book report. I've eaten the classics (and a few that didn't deserve to be.) I like Orson Scott Card. He's a little dry but does pose some interesting practical questions about the nature of us and where we are going. Stephen King is a guilty pleasure but I firmly believe that there is a special circle of Hell for John Grisham and any of his fans. Kahlil Gibran. Poet from Lebanon, wrote in the 1920's. The man could do things with a phrase that would make God weep, and I believe that's why he did it.


Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor - Image Hosting

Heroes:

Ummmmm, like Captain America is totally rad.:
You are Green Lantern Green Lantern 85% Iron Man 85% Spider-Man 75% Hulk 75% The Flash 65% Catwoman 65% Superman 55% Batman 55% Supergirl 45% Wonder Woman 40% Robin 35% Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test
However, Green Lantern is totally cool too.

My Blog

Ok, E, I'll play

Here's how you play: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:40:00 PST

This one made me homesick

You Are 80% TexasWell, knock me down and steal muh teeth! You're pretty darn Texan.How Texas Are You?...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:50:00 PST

Has anyone ever seen Scanners?

Ok, I am never one to discuss politics because I find it in poor taste and, ultimately, alienating. Personal politics should be kept personal.However, I came across this and it hurt me to read, not in...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Fri, 25 May 2007 10:52:00 PST

Venus, Dancing 'Round the Moon

Not too long ago, I looked up in the gloaming sky And saw it,Venus,Dancing 'round the moon.She winked at me,Twinkling playfully in the darkness,Brighter still than anything.The fellow gawkers around m...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Wed, 23 May 2007 06:57:00 PST

Girl Pirate and the Boyhood Robber King

When I was a child,Every Saturday morning,Careful rearrangement of the cushionsChanged my sofa intoMy fortress,My hideout.With a sign screaming "NO GIRLS ALLOWED!"I knew exactly where and when it was....
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Sat, 19 May 2007 08:23:00 PST

Her, Under Pressure

It's easy to see that within herThe way her chest cavesWhen her heart sinksWhen she knows she should say something AnythingTo make him go away.She bears the burdenOf the responsibilityOf his impending...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Sat, 12 May 2007 10:31:00 PST

Requiem for a Ghost

This one might go in the diary, too, as I am purely writing for me.  There's an old part of my story I need to lay to rest.  An old scar that has long since done more harm than good.  I...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Thu, 10 May 2007 10:44:00 PST

Looking out my window, just now

I just happened to glance outside my window, while catching up on my email and procrastinating the very last of my housecleaning to get ready for my weekend and time with my son.  As I did, fortu...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Fri, 04 May 2007 09:06:00 PST

America Prostitued, The History and the Solution.

I do not know if God is on our side, I can only pray he is.  -- Abraham LincolnListen to me, all of you out there!  You were told by this man, your HERO, that America was the greatest countr...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Sat, 14 Apr 2007 03:07:00 PST

After a Month of Driving the Dad Wagon

Five weeks ago, my car was killed.  Some little old lady thought the left turn lane was the express lane and she killed my car.  I love that car.  It was my present to myself for surviv...
Posted by Mr Durden (L-GA) on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:34:00 PST