John profile picture

John

On the edge of sanity, just outside the border.

About Me

I'm the official asshole of the new millennium. I write hard-hitting, yet off the wall comedy. There's no subject that I will shy away from. I think outside the box, and tend to look at life through a prism. I am very analitical, and attack a problem from every side imaginable, and several that aren't. I can be very persistant, but I know when to back off. I am also very creative, with a healthy dose of the bizarre tossed in there.

My Interests

Writing, Classic Computers(Amiga/Commodore), Vintage Video Games(Atari), Team Fortress Classic, FORTRESS FOREVER!! Day of Defeat:Source. Tattoo's with meaning, Gardening, having fun.

I'd like to meet:

Tom Cruise....so I could slap the shit out of him. Bill Gates....so I can kick him in the nuts.


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Music:

Doro Pesch/Warlock, most classic rock.

Movies:

Star Wars(all 6), Dragonheart, Dee Snyder's Strangeland, Tromaville movies, John Waters movies, The Planet of the Apes(original movies...1967-1975), Anything strange and off the wall.

Television:

Not much, these days. The original Battlestar Galactica, General Hospital, HGTV(particularly the landscape shows), the local news(gives me lots of material for my comedy writings), Monty Python, Hell's Kitchen, American Idol(especially the auditions...funny stuff!), 80's British Sitcoms....(Young Ones, Red Dwarf....), anything doing with the 60's, 70's, and 80's, Europe(Britain, Amsterdam, Switzerland and Germany mostly), and pretty much nothing else. 80-odd channels on basic cable..... and not a rat-turds worth of stuff to watch. What. The. Fuck?!

Books:

"Random Thoughts From A Diseased Mind(Not For Dummies)"On Sale Now!I have also written 2 Star Trek:Next Generation / Battlestar Galactica(original) crossover short-stories(drop me a line if you are interested.) I have 5 other projects in the works, but aside from my own writings, I love Steven Brust's novels. He just has a way of pulling you into the story.

Heroes:

My late wife, Rose. She was the strongest person I have ever met! I'm glad I could make her smile, and keep her laughing.

My Blog

Race Day

I just got home from the Komen Race for the Cure. I'm really glad I went. I learned alot about how it works, and will be better prepared next year. Yes, I'm going to do it next year.... providing they...
Posted by John on Sun, 19 Oct 2008 09:45:00 PST

SAVE THE BOOBIES!!!

........ .. SAVE THE BOOBIES!!! I want you to join me on Sunday, October 19th so you can be among the anticipated 35,000 people who will participate in the 2008 Komen Maryland Race for the C...
Posted by John on Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:50:00 PST

Race for the Cure

Finally, I get to do this. Rose and I had planned on doing the Race for the Cure the year she died. Needless to say, plans fell through. Last year, I didn't find out about it until it was too late to ...
Posted by John on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 04:39:00 PST

A poem.

Secret Society A few years back I joined a club called The Secret Society, a loose organization of unwilling members who rarely gather together as a group but always acknowledge those who belong, even...
Posted by John on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:48:00 PST

Short one....

Ok..... I'm just jumping in on a topic since I'm waiting for Fortress Forever to update(Beta version..... don't get excited!).... A "Hollywood News Program"(I won't name names) claims that only 6% of ...
Posted by John on Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:37:00 PST

If I wasn’t joking, I’d be serious...

Sometimes I love ambiguous titles.   Uncle Sambo(if he gets elected) is in the news again..... for several reasons. First, Jessi "dumbass" Jackson(I suspect he was thrown out of Michael Jackson'...
Posted by John on Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:32:00 PST

Alrighty....

I'm naked, somewhat wet(just showered...so don't even go there), eating Cheetos and watching Star Trek:Next Generation. I'm sure this says something about me....but I'm not sure what. Barrak Yobama is...
Posted by John on Tue, 15 Jul 2008 06:54:00 PST

Oh yeah...

Leak of ff_2fort I could get in trouble for this....so you didn't see it here.  ...
Posted by John on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 07:49:00 PST

Whoopsie!

Fucking Hell's Kitchen...... I thought this week was the finalle! DAMMIT, I gotta wait another week! FUCK!!!   News here in Bawlmer, a suspected car thief who allegedly ran over a cop(Using legal...
Posted by John on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 07:27:00 PST

Well, slap my balls and call me Becky.

Or don't. No, I'm not really into pain... not anymore. That was my thing a few decades ago... These days, it's all emotional pain. I can't hang with the physical pain. That's what happens when you hi...
Posted by John on Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:50:00 PST