Dirty Cosmopolitan - ProfilesArchive

About Me

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dirt·y
adj. dirt·i·er, dirt·i·est
Obscene or indecent: dirty movies; a dirty joke.
Extremely unfortunate or regrettable: a dirty shame.
Expressing disapproval or hostility: gave us a dirty look.
cos·mo·pol·i&& #035;183;tan
adj.
Pertinent or common to the whole world: an issue of cosmopolitan import.
Having constituent elements from all over the world or from many different parts of the world: the ancient and cosmopolitan societies of Syria and Egypt.
So sophisticated as to be at home in all parts of the world or conversant with many spheres of interest: a cosmopolitan traveler.
There you have it: A duality of adverse extremes. A seeming contradiction, but the more you see, the more sense this chimera of oppositions makes.
I take a lot of pride in my ability to make people laugh at me, but I am less proud of my ability to make people laugh at someone else. I am a reasonably intelligent human, with no obvious physical deformities, I don't smell atrocious, and I am perfectly capable of getting along well with others. I am an English student, a fiction writer, a waiter as well as a part time pirate.
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My Interests

Boxing, card games, chess, other games, outdoor stuff like camping or hiking, reading, writing, arts and crafts, film and cinema, drumming, racquetball, fencing, pirate lore, mythology

I'd like to meet:

People with scars that tell stories. People who collect things that others throw away. People who use words incorrectly on purpose just to see if others are listening. People who wear costumes when it isn't even Halloween. Women.

Music:

Tom Waits, Leonard Cohen, Mr. Lif, 7L & Esoteric, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Depeche Mode, Social Distortion, Bob Dylan, Audioslave, Neil Young, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Greg Brown, Bad Religion

Movies:

City Of God, Menace II Society, The Aristocrats, Adaptation, Crash (The new one), Labyrinth, Mirrormask, The Princess Bride, Pan's Labyrinth

Television:

Carnivale, The Wire, Futurama, Boondocks, Mr. Show

Books:

The Little Prince, The Prydain Chronicles, The Catcher in the Rye, Bluebeard, Cat's Cradle, Choke, Still Life With Woodpecker, American Gods, The Book of Laughter and Forgetting, To Kill A Mockingbird, Of Mice and Men.I like Neil Gaiman, Kurt Vonnegut, Chuck Pahlaniuk and Tom Robbins a whole lot.

Heroes:

Orpheus

My Blog

Territorial Pissing

So there's birdshit on my car. That's nothing new. Car owners get shit on their cars--it is towards the Death/Taxes end of the inevitability spectrum. Birds claim ...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Tue, 22 May 2007 11:46:00 PST

Herb the Honda II: Opportunity Costs

Herb the Honda is kind of long in the tooth. By no means is he a spring chicken. Place applicable cliche here. Were about 185K on the meter. I am expe...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Sat, 05 May 2007 11:54:00 PST

Doubleyou-tee-eff

I just got a brand spankin' new sister-in-law. Her name is Michelle and she is from Mississippi. Neat, huh?
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Thu, 05 Apr 2007 11:53:00 PST

Time for a summer off

Last night, during a late night discussion about grammar and punctuation, I actually said, "What about apostrophes? There's a rockin' little punctuation mark, for you!" I said this without...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:29:00 PST

Stupid school

Today, in the school bookstore, I retired the third backpack of my college career, in a frantic and suden joint ceremony in which my fourth backpack was also inaugerated. Fortunately, my backpack fel...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:21:00 PST

Herb the Honda

I recently lost a bet with my roomate requiring that I attach a vanity plate of his choosing to my poor car. The plate in question has Betty Boop on it, with a poodle tugging at her garters bear...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 10:06:00 PST

Holidays In Review

Holidays sure are a pain in the ass. Sometimes they are worth it, though.Halloween for example, is great because you can have Halloween parties all through October and even early November these ...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Sun, 07 Jan 2007 12:32:00 PST

Birds

My parents, Mr. and Mrs. McBadass, are avid avian enthusiasts. They even get a magazine called Bird Talk. In this magazine, there is an ad with a parrot on top of a bowl of fruit. Th...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Sun, 19 Nov 2006 10:29:00 PST

Video Games

I started playing the new Final Fantasy game and it is just spiffy. I only have one major gripe. For every 30 minutes of plot related playing, by which I mean action related to advancing t...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 12:02:00 PST

politics of rocking out

The other day, a few guys from work and I were talking about U2. Mostly, it was about how we didn't really like U2. Then, a bit later, after singing lines from "Sunday Bloody Sunday," and ...
Posted by Dirty Cosmopolitan on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 11:04:00 PST