Azzopardi - Photographer - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Firstly, thanks for looking at my myspace. I am a professional photographer working in the areas of:
Glamour
Fashion
Beauty
Fetish

I am, other than being freelance, a photographer for Alan Strutt's picture house 'CelebrityPictures.co.uk' therefore am always looking for published, professional models (male and female) who would like to take part in a syndication programme for their extensive client base covers all sectors of the media, including newspapers, magazines, TV & film production companies, advertising, mobile phone picture messaging and book publishing.
Example publications I sell to, internationally, include:
FHM
Maxim
Zoo
Nuts
Front
ICE

And just to see me on the other side of the camera, a couple of little ole me....
Random Survey
1. How tall are you barefoot?
5 foot 10 and a half (Don't forget the half!)
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
Nope
3. Do you own a gun?
Used to
4. Rehab?
Is for quitters
5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
Depends on wether or not they have a shotgun in their hands!
6. What do you think of your friends?
Trustworthy and genuine
7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
That one about "Stop The Cavalry"
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee NATO
9. Do you do push-ups?
Yup, but not as many as I used to
10. Have you ever done ecstacy?
Ummmmmm...Ah!
11. Are you vegitarian?
Not at all!

12. Do you like painkillers?
Only Ibuprofen
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
My wit & charm
14. Do you own a knife?
Yes, many. In the kitchen
15. Do you have A.D.D.?
Possibly! What the fk was I doing?
16. Date Of Birth?
24/11/75

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
Whay don't people reply to messages. Have I got a chciken on my head. If that fimo dinosaur egg hatches I've got nothing to feed the fimo dinosaur with!
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?
Maxim mag, Fags and a bottle of minging lucozade apple!
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
Coffee, red wine, Red bull, Tea and Fosters
20. What time did you wake up today?
8
21. Current hair?
Black and manga-stylee
22. Current worry?
Money, always!
23. Current hate?
Fricken Purchasing Managers
24. Favorite place to be?
Inbed!
25. Least favorite place to be?
In the dog house
26. Where would you like to go?
Back to bed
27. Do you own slippers?
No
28. What do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
41 and happy!
29. Do you burn or tan?
Burn badly
30. Last thing you ate?
Roast Dinner
31. Would you be a pirate?
Arrrrrrr!!!!
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
With Sunday lunch yesterday
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
killer Queen
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
The closet monster
36. Last thing that made you laugh?
My missus!
37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
Fred Basset
38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Snapped jaw bone in half. Ouch!
40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
1
41. Who is your loudest friend?
My older brother, Wayne
42. Who is your most silent friend?
Probably Scott
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Hmmmmm, nunno!
44. Do you wish on stars?
Only a few times
45. What is your favorite book?
Guide to Offlish
46. What is your favorite candy?
Peanut brittle
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
Your Song - Elton John
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"Time to Burn" by Storm
49. What were you doing 12AM last night?
Asleep in the land of nod!
50. Do you love someone?
Oh yes!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Lucifer

Jeebus

Music:

"And I don't want you and I don't need you!
Don't bother to resist, or I'll beat you!
It's not your fault that you're always wrong.
The weak ones are there to justify the strong!
The beautiful people, the beautiful people.
It's all relative to the size of your steeple.
You can't see the forest for the trees,
You can't smell your own shit on your knees!"

Movies:

HARTMAN
What's your excuse?
COWBOY
Sir, excuse for what, sir?
HARTMAN
I'm asking the fucking questions here, Private. Do you understand?!
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?
COWBOY
Sir, yes, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you shook up? Are you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir, I am, sir!
HARTMAN
Do I make you nervous?
COWBOY
Sir!
HARTMAN
Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
How tall are you, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, five foot nine, sir!
HARTMAN
Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir.
HARTMAN
Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!
HARTMAN
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY
Sir, Texas, sir!
HARTMAN
Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And youdon't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks!
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
Are you a peter-puffer?
COWBOY
Sir, no, sir!
HARTMAN
I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach- around! I'll be watching you!

Television:

Michael Palin: Ahh.. Very passable, this, very passable.
Graham Chapman: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau de Chassilier wine, ay Gessiah?
Terry Gilliam: You're right there Obediah.
Eric Idle: Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?
MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.
GC: A cup ' COLD tea.
EI: Without milk or sugar.
TG: OR tea!
MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.
EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.
GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."
EI: 'E was right. I was happier then and I had NOTHIN'. We used to live in this tiiiny old house, with greaaaaat big holes in the roof.
GC: House? You were lucky to have a HOUSE! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty-six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing; we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of FALLING!
TG: You were lucky to have a ROOM! *We* used to have to live in a corridor!
MP: Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph.
EI: Well when I say "house" it was only a hole in the ground covered by a piece of tarpolin, but it was a house to US.
GC: We were evicted from *our* hole in the ground; we had to go and live in a lake!
TG: You were lucky to have a LAKE! There were a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road.
MP: Cardboard box?
TG: Aye.
MP: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
GC: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!
TG: Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
EI: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, (pause for laughter), eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
MP: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
ALL: Nope, nope..

My Blog

Business Integrity - Follow up!

Just to let everyone know, I have been putting the feelers out there with models, stylists and photographers in respect to www.CompensationNotExploitation.co.uk and have had nothing but positive feedb...
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 05:15:00 PST

Don't let them take the piss!

My God, this has wound me up ever since I've joined this industry. The whole "we need a photographer/model/stylist/driver/dogsbody" but you won't get paid. But hey, it's 'good publicity!' Yeah, maybe ...
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 05:34:00 PST

New Nicola T shot

Have put new Nicola T shot up on my page, Hope you like it. :)
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 01:58:00 PST

STUDIO COMING SOON!!!

I'm all excited now!!! Had great news on the new studio today, so hopefully it won't be long until I'm in there and trading!!!!! Woooooohoooooooooooooooo!!!!! Watch this space Ladies & Germs! This...
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 07:29:00 PST

Ugli Duckling Ltd

Well, 2007 is going to be a VERY busy year. Have started up a new company, Ugli Duckling Ltd. Split into 3 main areas, photographic services, studio hire in Basingstoke, Hants and a model agency,...
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 04:03:00 PST

New Lucinda shots!

There are some new shots up on my pics page of Bournemouth model, Lucinda! Please do have a look and let me know what you think!
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 01:48:00 PST

Early January Shoots!

Have a few shoots lined up beginning of January. I'm shooting Fi Stevens, Jasmine Sinclair and Nadia Alkhashab for a rather secret mission! Watch this space!!!!!!
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Thu, 21 Dec 2006 08:43:00 PST

And the winner of the bulletin mini-comp is.........

MISS KAYLA FOX And here are her most excellent answers!!!!!!!! What's my middle name? wantsto (as in michael wants to have a party.lol) Where was I born? studio 54 What did I do before becomin...
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Tue, 05 Dec 2006 05:37:00 PST

Jasmine Sinclair and Amy Carter shots!

New shots up from the shoots I had yesterday with Amy Carter and Jasmine Sinclair. Hope you like them!
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 03:17:00 PST

Shoots this week.

Have two fantastic shoots this week. Shooting the amazing Amy Carter and the fantastic Jasmine Sinclair tomorrow. Looking forward to the shoots! Will get some results up as soon as they are done.
Posted by Azzopardi - Fotographer/Phreak on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 01:38:00 PST