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First things first -- I write the world's most widely read wine and spirits column for Metro International Newspapers, so if you like booze you simply must visit my blog (www.theimbiber.net) Okay, then ... many people say I'm a cross between Fabio and Tom Hanks, but they discount my playful Woody Allen eyes. I'm a strong, rugged, outdoorsy-type, yet extremely in touch with my sensitive side. In fact, lately I've been touching my sensitive side with alarming regularity. I'm a financially secure professional with several dozen post-graduate degrees under my stylish blackbelt. What do I like? Hey, I enjoy moonlit walks along sandy beaches, crying at movies, watching ‘Sex in the City,’ playing with kids, traveling, reading, cooking, cleaning, music, dancing and, most of all, snuggling by the fire at my place in Aspen. I'm spontaneous, yet pragmatic. Playful, yet stoic. Carefree, yet responsible. I'm a non-smoking, non-drinking, drug-free individual, but I'm willing to ‘experiment,’ if that's your fancy. To be honest, I tend to listen too much in conversations and have this aversion to wasting time on televised sports now that I've collected the full set of 'Mad About You' episodes. I have lots of long-range goals and embrace commitment the way other men love power tools.I'm here because I'm recently single. After only five months, my newly ex-girlfriend Rhonda wanted out of our relationship. She claimed I wasn't the same man I was during our two-year courtship ... mainly, I'm just a bit too REAL now. You see, Rhonda and I met and fell in love on the Internet, back when I looked like Brad Pitt and made tons of money as the stomach model for Abs of Steel. Plus, Rhonda got angry when she caught me surfing alternative websites. I told her I wasn't "bi-curious," but that I was simply "buying curios." I've got a thing for knute-carved, free-hand style briar pipes ... so sue me!One more thing: If a catastrophic terrorist attack is imminent, as panicky government officials are constantly reminding us, what the hell is everyone doing on the Atkins Diet?And if that terrorist attack does happen, I feel confident about my chances for survival because I've memorized the instructive lyrics to "Safety Dance."......
