Nessy Noodles ( feels much better now, thanks)

Me, me, me yadayadayada. I am Vanessa. 1982, year that God made meeeeeeee,I was born to illustrous parents, three months premature, yes you heard, three months. Because I was so tiny, some nice people put me in an incubator and I grew, and grew until I became 5'11 ft inches tall, to be precise. I am still this height. It's a sweet miracle. I used to have a cat called Mimi, but my mum gave her away. My Dad first took me to Camden when I was 12 and we bought some green nail varnish, which I still have. I have hopped,skipped and shimmied my way through 23 years on this good earth, spending most in West and North London, Big Smoke, which is my home and only temporarily stepping out to sample the wonders of Paris, Montreal and Germany.I am moderately clever too, I speak some languages and stuff and hope, some day, to invent an ingenius contraption, wine and dine my way through the good people of this green and pleasant land and report from the frontline, catching bullets in my teeth.If I don't do this, I hope to bake biscuits and make jam in a nice semi detached in a shire with a white picket fence ( no,not really) I often tend to find myself in idiot situations, mostly self inflincted, as I propel myself to the frontline of moronic actions. My saviour however, is that I suddenly remember I'm quite shy, and retreat, tail between my legs. This has kept me out of giant trouble, so far. I lose interest in things quickly, I have a low attention span and have no patience but if I like you and you don't bore me, I'm all eyes and ears. I like touching things on impulse.If I like you, I may want to hold your hand and cuddle up to you really tight. I also like, to cut it short,the whimsical pleasantries in life. Having said this,a little dirt and grime never killed anyone, unless you eat it. But why would you do that? I have a dirty crush on Laurence Lewllen Bowen. I hate pidgeons and turkeys, they are dirty like the streets. My favourite things in the universe are words,kissing, noise, my mum, my bedroom which smells of 'home' washing and baby powder, sitting in Paris and drinking wine, oh and apples. I am usually free on Tuesdays but not any other days, I go to Cafe Rouge club on Thursdays and church on Sundays so don't bother me whilst I'm repenting for sins. But then there's always Monday when I can dirty the slate from scratch, you can call me then. 079543372641-nah! not really, that's Weight Watchers. And I never watch what I eat because I don't like to cook and prefer to be served. I generally like to be served things, but I aslo like to do things by myself...but I like it most when my friends help me out. I love my friends, they're nice. As I am a polite little thing, I won't bore with the me, me, me yadayadayada any longer.See you on the Heath for a Mr Whippy and jokes, with a flake. Good night, Goodbye and God bless x x xThis Week: I am plugging Air Traffic, they are going to be BIG! I also have a stomach ache.

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