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After a childhood spent traveling to and fro around the world, Alex decided to move to Paris. Once there, he took the town by storm and quickly became the object of a national obsession. Books were written about him, ironic t-shirts featuring some of his trademark quips ("Hey! Put down that child!" or the ever popular "Your Mom knows what she did") and a highly-rated TV mini-series about his life (his role being played by an at-the-time struggling actor named Heath Ledger) were but the tip of the iceberg.
The deeply sensitive Alex was quickly overwhelmed by all this attention and sought solace in the works of Miss Beatrice Potter and competition-level shuffleboard. Seeing that this deliberate absence from the spotlight only enhanced his mystique and people's interest in the most minute details of his personal life, Alex embarked on a campaign to reclaim his life by sabotaging any goodwill people might have had towards him.
The next five years were filled with tales of his debauched nights out in Paris, nights that usually ended with Alex "accidentally" flashing his genitals at some paparazzi. Alex knew the plan was working when he got the news that Pope John Paul II had, behind closed doors, referred to him as "fucked-up". That same year, French Parliament met during an extraordinary session to discuss the constitutionality of a law that would force Alex to be chemically castrated so as to avoid tainting the national gene-pool with his perverted DNA.
Having finally been freed of the burden of being a role-model, Alex has been living a life of quiet exhiliration.
