Rush Limbaugh

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I made a name for myself in the 1990s as an outspoken ultra-conserative and ultra-popular radio talk show host. I got my start in radio while still in high school. In the 1980s I landed in Sacramento, California and perfected the politically-oriented sarcasm that earned me national syndication. I then gained particular fame as a staunch opponent of president Bill Clinton; by 1995, when Newt Gingrich led a Republican majority into the House of Representatives, I was one of the most popular radio hosts in the U.S., with a fervent audience of "dittoheads," fans who share my conservative views. In July of 2001 I signed a contract extension which will keep me on the air through 2009.
My 35 Undeniable Truths
All of these truths are of the same importance.
1. There is a distinct singular American culture - rugged individualism and self-reliance - which made America great.
2. The vast majority of the rich in this country did not inherit their wealth; they earned it. They are the country's achievers, producers, and job creators.
3. No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity.
4. Evidence refutes liberalism.
5. There is no such thing as a New Democrat.
6. The Earth's eco-system is not fragile.
7. Character matters; leadership decends from character.
8. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.
9. Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the twentieth century.
10. The 1980s was not a decade of greed but a decade of prosperity; it was the longest period of peacetime growth in American history.
11. Abstinence prevents sexually transmitted disease and pregnancy -every time it's tried.
12. Condoms only work during the school year.
13. Poverty is not the root ("rut") cause of crime.
14. There's a simple way to solve the crime problem: obey the law; punish those who do not.
15. If you commit a crime, you are guilty.
16. Women should not be allowed on juries where the accused is a stud.
17. The way to improve our schools is not more money, but the reintroduction of moral and spiritual values, as well as the four "R's": reading, 'riting, 'rithmatic, and Rush.
18. I am not arrogant.
19. My first 35 Undeniable Truths are still undeniably true.
20. There is a God.
21. There is something wrong when critics say the problem with America is too much religion.
22. Morality is not defined by individual choice.
23. The only way liberals win national elections is by pretending they're not liberals.
24. Feminism was established as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.
25. Follow the money. When somebody says, "It's not the money," it's always the money.
26. Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.
27. Using federal dollars as a measure, our cities have not been neglected, but poisoned with welfare dependency funds.
28. Progress is not striving for economic justice or fairness, but economic growth.
29. Liberals measure compassion by how many people are given welfare. Conservatives measure compassion by how many people no longer need it.
30. Compassion is no substitute for justice.
31. The culture war is between the winners and those who think they're losers who want to become winners. The losers think the only way they can become winners is by banding together all the losers and then empowering a leader of the losers to make things right for them.
32. The Los Angeles riots were not caused by the Rodney King verdict. The Los Angeles riots were caused by rioters.
33. You could afford your house without your government - if it weren't for your government.
34. Words mean things.
35.Too many Americans can't laugh at themselves anymore.
The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left
1. Thou shalt have no other God except thyself; after all, it's thy self-esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thyself, who will?
2. Thou shalt not make any graven image out of any substances which cannot be recycled.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of liberals in criticism, including feminists, racial minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim of America.
4. Remember the anniversaries of Roe vs Wade and Anita Hill's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and keep them holy.
5. Honor thy mother. If she is dysfunctional, it is thy father's fault.
6. Thou shalt not kill. With these exceptions: life forms under the second trimester, and those opting for medically assisted suicides.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Unless thou aspirest to high political office, useth a condom, or cannot help it.
8. Thou shalt not steal. Unless thou art disadvantaged or upset with a jury verdict.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness. Unless thou art discussing the history of the 1980's, art campaigning, or can afford good legal counsel in the event that thou art discovered.
10. Thou shalt not covet. Unless thou art the victim of gender-related oppression or institutional racism, or art still angry with Reagan's tax cuts.
11. Always hide the real truth about thyself.
12. Never admit who or what thou really art when campaigning for office.
13. Always blame someone else for what thou dost - even so far as to blame the entire society.
14. Thou shalt oppose all punishment - except when conservative Republicans or religious right people criticize thee.