My Choose Your Own Adventure Bio
I was born in 1976 and grew up in Spencer, Ma. I was an artistic kid and loved monsters and pro football (I still live and die for the Patriots...and monsters! hehe) In my early teens I.....choose Bio one for "started to play Guitar" or choose Bio two for "was attacked by zombies"
-Bio One "Guitar" (Read My Choose Your Own Adventure Bio First)
In my early teens I was over my sisters house and to pass the time they said I could either play Nintendo or play the electric guitar that her husband had borrowed. I chose the guitar. Using a folded up piece of thin cardboard as a pick I plucked away until it was time to leave. I was hooked and begged for months for a guitar of my own. Christmas came and I........choose either Bio 3 "recieved a beautiful new guitar" or Bio 4 "didn’t get a guitar"
-Bio Two "Zombies"
In my early teens I was over my sisters house and to pass the time they said I could either play an electric guitar or play with a cursed shovel in the haunted graveyard nearbye. I chose the shovel and set off to dig up some bodies. When I entered the graveyard I heard strange moaning sounds from under the earth so I found the source and started to dig. After about two feet I unearthed a very decomposed but moving hand. Excited I started to dig around it until I reached the shoulder and the top of a moaning hungry head. Careful not to catch my fingers in it’s snapping chattering teeht I uncovered it’s faced. That’s when I...... Choose Bio 5 for "heard footsteps behind me" Choose Bio 6 for "Split it’s skull with my shovel"
-Bio Three "New Guitar"
Christmas came and I received a beautiful new guitar. I was so excited and couldn’t get wait to accomplish my goals. I grabbed the thing, smashed it to bits on my family’s skulls, and said a few words I memorized from the necronomicon. A swirling blackhole appeared in the air in front of me and I was sucked into it and I was never heard from again. The end.
-Bio Four "No Guitar"
Christmas came and there was no guitar under the tree for me. I had to wait for one month until my birthday until I got a cheap red Cruise guitar and a tiny Gorilla amp. One of my sisters friends showed me how to play "Smoke on the Water" and I was off. Another friend of my sister introduced me to alot of "guitar music" and started showing me some technical things about the instrument. I took lessons for a year while I was a freshman and soon....choose Bio 7 for "discovered music wasn’t for me." Choose Bio 8 for "became obsessed with music"
-Bio Five "Heard Footsteps"
I heard footsteps behind me and turned to find another of the undead ready to take a bite from my tasty self. Quickly I swung the shovel into the neck of this disgusting fellow. It took four more blows before the head was completely severed. This was tiring work so I decided not to dig up the other zombie. Instead I cracked off the top of it’s skull with a mighty swing. Then with the next it was down to it’s nose. With a final swoop it’s gurgling neck poofed out some dust and he stopped moving. I pushed the other corpse into the hole and decided to play it safe and urinated upon the foul beasts. Maybe it’s only mummies that you have to defile their corpse but really whats the difference they’re both undead, right? I buried them up and went back to try my hand at the guitar. The end.
-Bio Six "Split Skull"
That’s when I split it’s skull with my shovel and was sprayed in the face by zombie juice. Some had gotten in my mouth and within seconds I had the hunger. "Brains!" I yelled. The hunger was blinding and painful. I had to eat and eat now. My joints stiffened and I had to drag one of my legs behind me but on I went back to my sisters house. They were family so I figured they wouldn’t mind if I grabbed a quick bite. I practically took the door off the hinges in my rush to get inside. "Brains" I warmly greeted them. I found it very annoying that hair gets stuck in your teeth and it’s almost impossible to bite through a skull. My sister seemed annoyed by this as well. I decided to go through the eyeball instead. Once that was out of the way I grabbed a chair and forced it’s leg into the darkened socket and leaned all my weight on it. With a little effort was able to crack open that tough shell and finally enjoy those delicious soft meats inside. "Brains" I thanked her for the meal. Chinese food must have alot of brains in it because I was hungry again not long after. I’m a rambler now traveling the roads to find the best morcels across this great land of ours. And what a long strange trip it has been. Apparently I need a shower because people seem to do there best to avoid me. "Brains!" I tell them trying to explain that they are being ignorant but they run away anyway. "Brains!" I scream louder to say that I have feeling too. Feelings of never ending hunger.
-Bio Seven "Not For Me"
I soon discovered that music wasn’t for me buried myself in a world of video games, booze, and prostitutes. I learned my pimp hand was strong and earned the nickname fingers. I created an online video game called Supacrackapimpinstein that would track the high scores of all the registered ladies who played the games crack Ho’s and I would visit them at their homes "Last Starfighter" style and recruit them into my arsonel of love goddesses. The cash just rolls in so I don’t ever have to waste my time writing songs, making movies, or writing wacked out crap for my myspace page. Peace.
-Bio Eight "Obsessed"
I became obsessed with music of all styles. After playing in bands and managing cd stores I moved to Hollywood, Ca at the end of 2001 and attended a three month program at Musician’s Institute. After a death in the family I moved back to Ma in the summer of 2002. I taught guitar for awhile and then became the night manager at Long View Farms recording studio. Lately I’ve been focusing on writing, recording, making movies, and putting together a band to play my eclectic music.
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