Billy Splatts! profile picture

Billy Splatts!

I don't see why not!

About Me

Agggghh!!! Stop looking at me!

I'm a very proud husband and father, artist, scientist, entreprenuer, MBA, hodaddy, songwriter, poet, lesbian trapped in a man's body, driver, biker, boater, dog walker, sledder, flosser, vegetarian...just your typical Long Islander!

Enough about me....what do YOU think about me?

Welcome to my ceaseless quest for adoration from people who don't know me!

My Interests

Fatherhood
Auto Racing
Mountain Biking
Mountaineering
Landscaping
Painting
Photography
Sailing
Target Shooting
Tracking Wild Game
Vegetarianism

I'd like to meet:


YOU!! Even though Dr. Phil thinks...

Music:

All of it!

Books:

Adams
Bryson
Chopra
Darwin
Disney
Freud
Greene
Gunther
Hemingway
Mann
Miller
Newton
Schweitzer
Steinbeck

Heroes:

Here are a few of my paintings...that I painted...
For the whole nine yards visit www.billysplatts.com
"French Chef Suicide"
"MySpace Hearts"
"Rock"
"Scarlet Begonias"
"Simply Complicated"
"Someone I Used To Love"
"Hurt"
"Dread"
"Owen Wilson Suicide"
"Calvary"
"The Curtain Torn"
"Hardscrabble"
"Ernest Hemingway Dreams of a run of Blue Marlin"
"Pride of Lions"
"Sandy Candy" - SOLD!
"Red"
"White"
"Blue"
"Pvt. William McBride"
"Piano Man"
"Molokai Sandcastle"
"Wynken"
"Blynken"
"Nod"
"A Visit to the Shepards"
"The Slaughter of the Innocents"
"Caspar"
"Melchior"
"Balthasar"
"Side A" - SOLD!
"Side B - Empty Garden" - SOLD!
"MySpace Stars" - SOLD!
"MySpace Snowflakes"
"Humanity's Heartbreak, Dresden's Frauenkirsche"
"Pilgrim's Sanctuary, Lourdes, France"
"Drunk Again Ath Midnight Mass..."
"Gotta Let Go!"
"A Final Christmas - St. Benedict's Abbey - Christmas 1948"
"Stained Glass Window at Il Duomo"
"Doves at St. Patricks"
"A Bucket of Prop Wash"" - SOLD!
"Billy Splatts! Self Portrait"
"The One That Got Away"
"Chris Stanton in SPAM Shirt" - SOLD!
"Mud Hook" - SOLD!
"Hoof Hearted!!"
"Long Black Veil"
"Fire Field"
"Denali Rae" - SOLD!
"Bomb Dogs Don't Bark"
"Primary Square"
"Why Won't He Call?" - SOLD!
"Holy Water" - SOLD!
"In the pope's living room
with the man in the grey suit" - SOLD!
"My Side Of The Bed" - SOLD!
"Downeaster Rebecca"
"Golgotha Nightmares" - SOLD!
"Hillery Ascends" - SOLD!
"Peconic Glory" - SOLD!
"Warm and Fuzzy"
"Conan O'Brien Versus Bear"
"Che Guevera Where Are You?!?!"
"A Walk In the Dog Park"
"The Love..."
"Bottle In Front Of Me"
"C.U. Next Tuesday"
"Best Day Ever"
"Port Royale" - SOLD!
"Visions of Sugar Plums" - SOLD!
"Fujiyama Snowflake"
"Her Footprints On My Dashboard" - SOLD!
"Soccer Riot!"
"Chasing Martian Pirates"
"Intragalactic Bloodstream"
"S'more or Less"
"Home Colors" - SOLD!
"Cinnabar Princess"
"Brazilian Wax" - SOLD!
"Girl's Lacrosse Home" - SOLD!
"Girl's Lacrosse Away" - SOLD!
"Peanut Butter and Jelly"
"Chocolate Syrup"
"Fruit Punch"
"Halloween Candy" - SOLD!
"Scout" - SOLD!

My Blog

Leon and Roscoe - repost by request

"Leon and Roscoe" by Billy Splatts! Leon was a lean and strong man with a balding head of white hair.  He was a tall man, nearly six foot nine inches tall.  He was thin but muscular and as w...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 09:08:00 PST

One More Candle and a Trip Around The Sun

Hey everyone! I just wanted to than you for the calls, cards, gifts and presents and well wishes! I have successfully completed my 38th trip around the sun. ...let's see what have I done since this t...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:24:00 PST

REMINDER: We’re at War

REMINDER: We're at War Some people have real problems...stop bitchin' that Starbucks made your Latte too sweet. Support the troops - give to the Army Emergency Relief Fund at http://www.aerhq.org/...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:33:00 PST

Rare Bird Spotted in Nashville Last Night!

  As many of you know I am the poster child for Generation X. Born during it's center point I am a true, hardcore "baby buster". You've read in my previous postings that the word "hero" means n...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 08:18:00 PST

Fractal Fiction - Why not!?

  Many of my readers will know about my love for serious quality fiction. And many will have heard of fractal fiction - short, intense stories. A famous story written by Ernest Hemingway when c...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 08:16:00 PST

I Dreamed You A Thousand Times...

I think sometimes a thing happens to a person and they think it will just break their heart... But sometimes a thing can happen where the heart doesn’t break, it just keeps ripping and ripping a...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 05:44:00 PST

New painting...HELP!!!!

New painting...HELP!!!! I need your help people!Okay - long story short - I paint the below for the folks at Red Bull for their annual "Art of the Can" art exhibit in Houston this summer. Everythi...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 05:58:00 PST

"For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn."

Hello everyone!It is with great pleasure that I announce to you the creation of the William P. Corrigan Family Fund for the Ernest Hemingway Foundation and Society. The Corrigan family has set up thi...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:11:00 PST

Boycott the 2008 Olympics!!!

We should have done it in 1936 and we didn’t... We gave credibility to a fascist regime and we all know what happened next... Let’s not make the same mistake again... ...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 05:04:00 PST

The Irony of the Rat Race

A boat docks in a tiny Mexican village. An American compliments the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long," answered the Mexican. "S...
Posted by Billy Splatts! on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 12:51:00 PST