Like-minded holiday statuettes who know what it feels like to be forgotten for most of the year.
If I hear one more Christmas carol, I will obliterate its jolly singers. . .first with my icy gaze, then with my gun. Holiday music in general makes me want to spew warm partially digested whiskey upon your festive holiday floor. . .except that one Run DMC Christmas song. The one that goes "It's Christmas time in Hollis, Queens. . ." That song makes my booty pontificate upon the myriad ways it could contort, twist and woo if it had the mobility of a GI Joe doll (sorry. . ."action figure").
Sgt. Pepper