Maxâ„¢ profile picture

Maxâ„¢

Headlines Are For People Who Need Head

About Me

One way you can learn about me is to read my journal/blog, but lately I've realized that this may not be the best way. I've posted over 250 blogs now, and many of them are just nonsense. Still, I pretty much try to stay an open book and I don't have many reservations with sharing my personal thoughts with complete strangers. You could also try to become my friend and then gain my confidence and then steal my secret plans and use them for your own diabolical purposes. If I were to summarize myself, I guess I'd say that I'm awesome, but I'm not aware of nor inclined to believe how awesome I truly am.
In a proverbial nutshell - I'm handsome, sexy, sweet, kind, generous, creative, intelligent, artistic, attentive, honest, giving, funny, loyal, trustworthy, multitalented, and filled with potential. I'm also kinda lazy, somewhat overemotional, difficult at times, absent minded, moody and occasionally hyper-sensitive... so beware... I'm not perfect *gasp*. If you can put up with my bullshit, you'll find knowing me to be one of the most rewarding experiences ever. (pinkie swear) ;)
I run my own (very) small business. I have an expired Real Estate license. I live a fairly laid-back lifestyle. I sing and I play bass - I also play guitar and drums a little. I have been in several bands - some that have played live, and one that has become internationally famous (left long before that happened though). I've performed in front of over 1000 people. I love to write. I love to draw (although I'm out of practice). I love to dabble in photography and digital photo manipulation. I love to travel.
And I make the best Tuna Melt in the fucking world!

My Interests

Music, Art, Movies, Soccer, Computers, Video Games, Writing, and other standard stuff.

I'd like to meet:



Someone who is smart, witty, happy, at least slightly liberal, emotionally and financially independent and stable, smells nice, likes to travel, likes movies - from mindless action to ones with subtitles, likes to give backrubs, pretty, honest, clean, loyal, confident, creative, knows what she wants, drug free (or at least has outgrown it), not too into partying (but likes to party a little), outgoing and friendly. Also - if she can fit her entire fist into her mouth or lick her own elbow, that's cool too. Is that too much to ask?

Basically, a Jelly to my Peanut Butter

I'd also like to meet some quality new friends and get caught up with old ones. I've been on Myspace since 03 and have met and reunited with some great people. So even if it's uncool and the new yahoo, I'll still come here for friends.
I also wouldn't mind meeting someone who thinks of me like this (which is like saying "I like being happy" - so what?):

Also - if you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're, please don't contact me... and if you don't know the difference between your and you're, then definitely don't contact me.

Music:

Gunmoll, Rise Against, Millencollin, No Use for a Name, Hot Water Music, Knapsack, Reggie and the Full Effect, Lou Reed, Minor Threat, Government Issue, Jawbox, Benni Benassi, Burning Airlines, A Wilhelm Scream, Baxter, Lock and Key, Soul Side, Regina Spektor, Fugazi, The Promise Ring, The Bravery, Bracket, The Cure, The Movielife, Depeche Mode, Paint it Black, New Order, Joy Division, Avail, Echo and the Bunnymen, Face to Face, Do As Infinity, Thrice, Boa, Crimpshrine, Jawbreaker, Samiam, Lawrence Arms, Guttermouth, Tom Waits, blah blah... I dunno - I like punk (all sorts), Jpop, Electronica, and other genres... I have kinda eclectic tastes, but I'm not the type of person who will answer this question by saying "I like all kinds of music" cuz I hate those people.

Movies:

Oldboy, Battle Royale, Repo Man, Trainspotting, A Tale of Two Sisters, Predator, Shaolin Soccer, God of Cookery, Buffalo '66, Motorama, Salton Sea, My Wife is a Gangster, Straight To Hell, Roadside Prophets, My Sassy Girl, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Punch Drunk Love, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite, Electric Dragon 80,000 Volt, Wasabi, etc etc... I am really into movies, so chances are I've seen whatever your favorite movie is and chances are I'll say "eh - I thought it was allright" - if I say "Whoa - yeah, I loved that movie" then we'll get along well. I have nearly 2000 DVDs, so there will always be something to watch at my house if you come over... whoever you are...

Television:

Heroes, AOTS, Lost, ATHF, Coupling, Spaced, Weeds, Dexter, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Flight of the Conchords, Californication, Nip/Tuck, Entourage, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, and EPL Soccer mostly. I've been watching a lot of science stuff lately - addicted to How It's Made. Half my television viewing is of movies though. I don't believe watching television is bad and I'm not ashamed of it... much. Most of what's on television though is garbage.

Books:

Not much of a book reader... wait! come back! I mean, I read sometimes. I don't know - I read enough as it is and don't have much time for books. I used to read alot though, so maybe I've heard of that favorite book of yours. To be honest, I've been getting more into reading lately than I have been in years.
One of the last books I read was Replay - it was fucking great. I'm currently working on Enders Game after finishing Diary by Chuck Palahniuk. I'm also reading several magazines and the Victoria Secret catalog as well. I'm sure it's impressive that I can juggle so much reading material at once, but please don't send me flowers and requests to be taught how to be this cool.

Heroes:

I don't have any heroes. I stopped being 5 years old like a bunch of years ago. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever had a hero. Some kid said I was his hero once - this was at summer camp and I was 13 or something - he was like 8 or 9. I must've been pretty cool back then.
Max,,'s Details
Status: Not Currently Seeking
Here for: Existential Narcissism
Orientation: Boobies Boobies Boobies
Hometown: Scottsdale
Body type: 6' 1" / Sexy as Fuck
Ethnicity: Scottish / Irish
Zodiac Sign: Motherfuckin' Aquarius
Children: None That I Know Of
Occupation: Computer Consultant/ Entrepreneur/Artist
Max,,'s Schools
Arizona State University-Main Campus
Tempe, ARIZONA
Graduated: n/a
Student status: Alumni
1995 to 1996
Mesa Community College
Mesa, ARIZONA
Graduated: 1995
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Associate's Degree
Major: Transfer/Communications
1994 to 1995
Scottsdale Community College
Scottsdale, ARIZONA
Graduated: 1994
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Associate's Degree
Major: Transfer/Communications
1992 to 1994
Arcadia High School
Phoenix, ARIZONA
Graduated: 1992
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
1989 to 1992
Phoenix Country Day School
Phoenix, ARIZONA
Graduated: N/A
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Other
Major: Transferred
1986 to 1989
Max,,'s Networking
Technology - IT - Tech Support
Photography - Other - Photographer
Music - Performance - Bass
Max,,'s Companies
Maximum Gaming Rig PCs
Scottsdale, AZ US
CEO/President/God

I started the business in 2000
Need a Nerd?
Scottsdale, AZ US
CEO/President/God

I started the business in '96
Dotcom Publishing
Scottsdale, AZ US
CEO/President/God

I started the business in '98.
..

My Blog

True Stories of My Young Dating Life - Vol 2

(Vol. 1 is here)I was about 17 and in High School... I had still not had actual sex with an actual woman. Sure, I had practiced a lot on all sorts of inanimate objects, but I had yet to actually do th...
Posted by Max" on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 04:25:00 PST

Tales of an IT Consultant: Dead Guy’s Porn

I had a client who's office was a guest house turned warehouse/headquarters. The place was full of boxes, filing cabinets, and stacks of papers... all of it seemed to be related to politics. Just anot...
Posted by Max" on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 01:35:00 PST

Tales of an IT Consultant: Old Gay Married Men

In my business, I have access to secrets. Secrets of the deep and dark variety.People keep their most personal shit on their computers and then hand them over to me... to fix. I'm actually very discre...
Posted by Max" on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 03:41:00 PST

Douchebag Replacements... Get ’em Here!

In my last entry, I stated that the word "douchebag" was officially over. Actually, it is way beyond its expiration date. Sure, we’ve tried different ways of keeping it fresh - d-bag, douchenozz...
Posted by Max" on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:46:00 PST

Checking In With Mtv

I’ve written about Mtv before (about how soul-less it has become and whatnot) and haven’t really visited since. Tonight I checked it out again to see if it was still retarded. Yes... yes i...
Posted by Max" on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:57:00 PST

You’ve Reached The End Of The Internet, Please Turn Around and Return To Your Normal Lives...

Well, that’s it. After 15 years or so, I’ve come to the end of the internet. It’s over. There’s nothing more to see or do or say. I’ve seen every video of someone getting...
Posted by Max" on Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:26:00 PST

Hygene Hero

I gave myself a supercut today. My hair looks ridiculous. I’ve been cutting my own hair since I was 15, but I think maybe I’m just too lazy to do it well these days. I’m seriously di...
Posted by Max" on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 05:52:00 PST

How Music Destroyed Your Soul

"Music Industry" is a bit of an oxymoron in that the two things go together about as well as oil and water. Music is a creative process while industry is an exploitive and calculating process. One is ...
Posted by Max" on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 05:42:00 PST

Talk Nerdy To Me...

Warning: Nerd talk - skip this blog and wait for the next one...Most of you have seen the Apple ads that have been running for the past few years now... the ones featuring a nerdy and uncool corporate...
Posted by Max" on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:29:00 PST

Actors That Ruin The Movies In Which They Appear

Here’s my list of actors that basically take a potentially good movie and turn it into something not good. I may add to it or subtract from it. If you have suggestions I may approve or deny them...
Posted by Max" on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:53:00 PST