Derf Magazine profile picture

Derf Magazine

derfmagazine

About Me


DERF MAGAZINE is Cincinnati's Hilarious News Source!
Check us out at DerfMagazine.com

FAKE NEWS - Packed with hilarious stuff!

PARTY PICS! Check out the local party scene.
http://derfmagazine.com/gallery

EVENTS - Cincinnati's coolest Event Calendar....Music,
shows, parties! http://derfmagazine.com/events/

Plus we host The DERF HAPPY HOUR!

Cincinnati's best monthly happy hour party. Hosted in awesome Cincinnati hotspots like The Pavilion, The Stand, Mt. Lookout Tavern, Millions, Jefferson Hall, Sully's, Longworth's. Come for fun and a great deal!
$10 for 10 beers plus 2 drinks!!

EMAIL FREEBIES - Hop on DerfMagazine.com and drop us your email address. Get special access to events and some cool freebies.

My Interests

1. We believe Derf is the most advanced home-schooling technology available. Also, we believe all members of the Cincinnati Public School Board were home-schooled.

2. We hope to uncover the deepest levels of corruption at the World of Dinettes. There's so much they don't want us to know.

The most recent DERF HAPPY HOUR! Hardcore crunk yo. Fadeproof like back in the day...

3. We're hoping to get most paint colors renamed.

4. We'd like to reduce America's dependancy on Bass Pro Shops.

5. Hiphop tip no. 17 - Whenever you're at a loss for a hiphop quote and you feel it is affecting your street cred, say this: "The shiznits rollin' fresh yo. Elevated money playa in the house!" This will up your pimp game. Someone might then say to you, "Yo what it is dog.". You should then say in response, "Straight up." At this point your pimp game will be dope.

I'd like to meet:

Meet tons of cool people in Cincinnati at awesome Derf events.

Post your party pics here:
PARTY PICTURES!

SEE NEW YEARS EVE PICS!...sent in from parties all over town.

Music:

-----------------------------------
We love Hillary Duff's later stuff.

Our staff members are huge fans of Josh Groban's bootleg tracks.

Kelly Clarkston's angst keeps us grounded.

Presidential Candidate Mike Huckabee spits tight rhymes. Dude's a baller straight up.

Movies:

-----------------------------------
Big Momma's House 2

All Hillary Duff movies.

Throw Momma From The Train

Television:

-----------------------------------
David Caruso, that red-headed guy on CSI Miami...the greatest actor of all time. He has such an amazing range....from pompous a-hole to arrogant f***.

We are addicted to A&E's Intervention show.

We also love all of the Proactive skin care commercials.

Books:

-----------------------------------
Books are getting kind of old school. We recommend more television. TV shows about books are a good compromise.

Heroes:

-----------------------------------
All Notary Publics - Everyday you guys put it on the line. Thanks so much for your dedicated service.

Who doesn't love Walker Texas Ranger! He keeps us all safe.

We love the guy who invented the banana holder. Remember back in the day when everyone put their bananas directly on the kitchen counter? We must have been barbarians!

My Blog

Zoo cracks down on deadbeat zoo baby daddies.

CINCINNATI, OH - Figures released this week by the National Board of Parks and Zoos indicate an alarming 90% of zoo baby daddies do not play any role in child-rearing or provide any support for their...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Wed, 16 Apr 2008 10:19:00 PST

Fiddle Hero popular among Kentucky gamers

Sales set to surpass Grand Theft Methlab KENTUCKY - This week's highly anticipated release of Fiddle Hero specifically created for the Kentucky gaming market is expected to be the most successful lau...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 08:40:00 PST

DERF HAPPY HOUR & WINE NITE - THURS APR 17

DONT MISS THIS HUGE EVENT!A great night of Wine Tasting at Blackfinn presented by DERF Magazine. This event will be held at SUITE - The exclusive ultralounge club within Blackfinn. Checkout Cincinnati...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:31:00 PST

BLURRY NCAA BRACKETS CREATE OFFICE POOL HAVOC

CINCINNATI - Unreadable NCAA basketball tournament brackets made by a malfunctioning copy machine set off a firestorm of resentment and ill feelings this week amongst a group of US Bank office worker...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Thu, 27 Mar 2008 02:10:00 PST

KATIE VS. MEN: Are random, bad hook-ups worse than no hook-ups?

By Katie Michaels, DERF Magazine Relationship Columnist Yes, yes, and um, YES!!! Look, we are far from teenagers with raging hormones, still experimenting and discovering the wonderful world of i...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Sun, 23 Mar 2008 09:28:00 PST

I can totally afford a prostitute like Ashley Dupre.....for about 2 minutes.

BY SLADE DANDRIDGE, DERF Lifestyle EditorialistAshley Dupre, Governor Spitzer’s prostitute, works for $4,300 per hour. That’s a bit more than I am willing to pay right now. I am a very suc...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 06:48:00 PST

Bush opts not to seek third Presidential term.

WASHINGTON, D.C.  President Bush announced this week he does not plan to enter the 2008 Presidential race. Citing the need to spend more time with his family, he said he plans to leave office officia...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 04:08:00 PST

NEXT DERF HAPPY HOUR - FRI MARCH 28 @ MT. LOOKOUT TAVERN

DERF is taking over Mt. Lookout Square!  DERF is rolling up to MLT and Millions.  $10 for 10 Beers plus 2 cocktails! What a deal.If you missed the last Derf party at Jefferson Hall, you miss...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 09:38:00 PST

WE SNAGGED 19 PAIRS OF FREE MOVIE TICKETS - LET US KNOW IF YOU WANT SOME.

We got our hands on 19 pairs of passes to a screening this Thursday night at the Newport Levee of THE BANK JOB from Lionsgate Pictures. See the movie synopsis below.Let us know of you want a pair...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:29:00 PST

LOCAL MAN SETS RECORD LOW IN CHARITY DATE AUCTION

MT. LOOKOUT - At a charity event this week benefitting Children's Leukemia, Stephen Miller was auctioned for $12 setting a new low in Cincinnati date auctions.  The bidding was ceremoniously set...
Posted by Derf Magazine on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 08:33:00 PST