Born and raised right here in the Great Lakes city of Grand Rapids, Michigan. I have been married now for over ten years and couldn’t see my self sharing my life with anyone else. I have two beautiful children who are an amazing gift from God and love them with all of my heart. You may find me at church with the family or serving in some aspect, a Cub Scout or Boy Scout event with my son, or just hanging with my family.
I am extremely happy to tell you that I have found the Lord and have done so on his terms not mine. For the last 10 years I have been walking along with the Lord as best I can. I have learned that we fall away from him now and then but, know he is there waiting for me with open arms and grace.
During the past 3 years I have been running full speed toward him and found myself hitting a road block in my life and my faith growth. On December 2nd 2007 I finally noticed that road block in my life it was pornography. On that day I attended an event hosted by XXXChurch.com called PORN AND PANCAKES with the guys from my small group. I thought to my self this would be a great thing for us as guys to attend but, in the back of my head I knew I needed to hear this message. After listening to Donny Pauling, Craig Gross, JR Mahon, and the story of Bill I found my self shortly after the event spewing all my junk out in front of JR Mahon.
I had been viewing porn for over 20 years and addicted the last 7 of those years. I was viewing porn at work, home and other places I should not have been. I would at times come into work and watch it for pretty much the entire day not getting my work complete that I should. I was no longer the husband I should have been to my wife intimately or emotionally. I found myself to be very angry and agitated most of the time. This caused great strife in my marriage and at work. I could never seem to get enough and this lead to me always pushing my wife to have sex even if she wanted it or not. As the time went on my thirst for porn grew and my faith had stopped growing. I found my self in my car on the way home after work screaming internally at God because I felt as if he had left me out in the cold.
As my entire body shook while telling JR of everything I had been doing and how I was caught up into the sin of pornography I finally got it. This sin had been keeping me back from enjoying the true love that Christ had given his life for. We prayed with other guys who I am very grateful for and blessed that God had put them in that spot at the time for me.
I went right home after talking to JR and getting my X3watch Software on a mission. As I walked in the door to my house my kids came running to me with big hugs and kisses and I grabbed them and held them tight in my arms. I asked the kids to go down stairs and play for a little bit while I talk to mom. After the kids went down stair I gave my wife a kiss and told her that we need to do something. I started to make a fire in our fireplace while my wife stared at me like I had lost it or something. I got up from the fire grabbed my wife’s hand and just smiled at her as I walked down the hall way to our room. Grabbing all the pornography I had at the time I headed back to our living room were my wife waited. I threw the collection into the fire and watched it burn. My wife reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder as I started cry thinking of the damage I had created because of this sin. The ironic part of the whole thing is how hard it was for the magazines to burn. I had to physically open them up and help them burn.
I have now been free of porn for 7 months now and have started to re build the marriage I had been slowly ripping apart. I have opened my eyes to the fact that God had not walked away but, I had and he has changed my life completely now that the sin is gone. I was very humbled and horned to be able to speak at another Porn and Pancakes event in Hudsonville, Mi at Daybreak church . Over 600 men showed up at 7:30 am to talk about and confront the issue of pornography. The conversations I had with guys after the event were amazing and reminded me were I had been. I will not tell you that my days are free from images in my head or thoughts but, I have weakened the grip that sin once had on me. I have not looked at any porn since then and feel it is God’s calling for me to do what I can to help in this fight.
I have been able to do an interview for a news station out of Indianapolis, IN during a P&P event in Fort Wayne, IN and I am currently working with XXXChurch.com on their National Porn Sunday event on October 7th 2007. I beg you if you are a person who makes decisions for your church please sign up for Porn Sunday. If you are not please present this to your church and ask them to do this. You can find all the information at PORN SUNDAY .
I have been blessed to be around so many loving people who exemplify Gods love and have molded me into the person I am today. Everyone knows who they are and I thank you and God for your works in my life.
Brian McGinness
