About Me
what if i drown
I'm Erica
And I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love!
I'm telling you this because you didn't ask.the first run- I've got it all here, growing like a tumor in my throat. I'm telling you this because if I don't, I will choke on it. Everyone knows what happened, but nobody asks. I couldn't tell it before. I disappeared but the world went on without me. I was a ghost in my own skin. I'm in my own world. Where I keep my secrets hidden. I'm invisible in everyone's eyes. People think they see me, hear me, know me, but they dont. My skin is what tricks everyone. My identity is inside. Where no one can find it. But it shouldn't have been shadowed. Not then. I want to tell. It's mine to tell. Even if you didn't ask, you have to hear it. I'm telling you this because if I don't, I will choke on it.
Hi, I'm Erica and I'm unnatural. I can be complicated, I can be crazy, I can be loving, and I can be everything you want and don't expect all at the same time. I'm not the most rebellious kid and I’m not the most frowned upon. I am the one who nobody knows about- yet everybody knows my given name and biography. Writing is my passion and the thing that keeps me sane, yet sometimes it drives me crazy (like right now as I try to make each fact flow with the next). I'm not a tough girl, though I may act it, with a heart. I'm an orderly mess of run-on sentences, failed suicide attempts, and words. When I’m 18, I am moving out of this hell and moving wherever Matt is going to school. Though, I would really like to attend the CIA [Culinary Institute of America]. Cooking is my natural talent. I know it too, when I was 12 I received a scholarship to the Culinary Institute and have been sharpening and polishing my provisions ever since. I could watch the cooking channel all day, though I don’t watch television. I mostly sit on this addictive site and I bet 10 bucks, your addicted too it just as much as I am. My friends are simply astounding. I could list them all but I don’t think I can without bursting into tears. I miss every single one of of them dearly. But I do have to make a section for my one and only true best friend and boyfriend. Matthew Murder. He knows everything about me and I can trust him with ANYTHING, literally. I love him, true fucking love him. He is beautiful, inside and out and I can prove it to you. April 21, 2007 was the date planned and in my darkest hour, he saved me from the one thing I am positive I would’ve regretted. A lot of you might think I’m a liar and attention whore for writing this, but I want you to know…all of this is fact and no, I don’t want attention for writing about myself. Hello Kitty and Gloomy Bear, the ultimate scene kid mascots. Heh, guess what?.. I myself like both those idiotic figures. However I am not not not not not a scene queen/ scene kid / emo kid / wannabe famous myspacer. I gave up wanting to be one of those a long time ago, way before 1000 friends was little…I gave it up back when short hair and thin eyeliner was IN and 150 friends was maxed out cool. Recently, I found my hated for taking new Myspace pictures. How can you be original with these pictures, honestly? Even sitting in your shower has been done! WTF?! It’s too bad I cant be as gorgeous and as unoriginal as you scene fucks. I am able find beauty in simple things like the flow of a white hospital dress on a young girl in a psychiatric ward or the last kiss you give the one you love before he gets in his car and leaves for good.
Love me or hate me but you have to take me as I am.
